Routines..

[BabyMamma93]

Do you have one?
if so when did you establish one? what is your daily routine?

if not, why not?

we dont have a routine as such, from birth M didnt either, at first i did try to feed every 2 hours like i was told, but sometimes he just didnt want it.
at about 4 week old i started putting him in his crib in our bedroom whilst we watch tv, he was fine with this and sometimes slept through, but i always fed on demand, kind of, i did try stick to a certain routine, but that was more so because of how i made up his bottles, when i figured how to make them fresh but cool enough to drink i fed on demand more, i never bathed him at a certain time, or put him to bed at a certain time, it was usually just around a certain time.

As M got older and started eating solids i still didnt establish a routine, he wakes up whenever he wakes up, he then has breakfast after that, he may want to play he may want to sit and chill, he may even want to go to sleep, he does which ever he wants to do, he may have a bottle through the day if he really wont nap without one.
He then has lunch, the time he has lunch depends if he is asleep, i try to give it near to 12pm, but sometimes hes asleep so i wait till he wakes,
We then have tea anywhere between 4-5.30pm and he goes to bed around 7 ish depending how tired he is, and even then he doesnt go to sleep sometimes till 8-9 pm.

 

[Button#]

With DS I had routines but they always evolved from his preferences. So his naps were at the same time each day from about 6 months but they happened at the time he would be tired. We also went to lots of playgroups so that had some bearing on our routine. We did start bath after tea and before bed when we started weaning at 6 months but we did BLW and it was necessary! His routine has changed several times as he's got older, depending on his needs. You're probably in more of a routine than you think, you just don't think about it!

DD will probably have more of a routine but that's because she has to fit in with DS.

 

[TTC First]

I am a foster parent for infants and I have raised kids on and off routine, I feel that they do better with a routine. I have them get up at a set time, nap and eat at set times. They always go to bed at the same time every night. I start the routine when I see that they are sleeping less through the day and adapt it to their individual needs. I started a routine with my most recent lo at round 2 months. As they get older we notice that there is a need four the routine to change so we will adapt the routine at that time. There are days when we are out of the house so our nap times get thrown off and we are ok with that. We always stick with the same bedtime no matter what.

We feel that it's much easier when they are expecting the routine and often times they will go down for naps without even crying. At one point we had a 1 year old that would go to the stairs an cry because she wanted to go up for her nap. We find that it's less stressful for them and us when they have a routine.

 

[horseybird]

TTC First, do you mind if I pick your brains?

I agree with the points you make about routines. My first was easy to get into a routine. But my second doesn't have any patterns. Some day cat naps, some day one long nap. The only consistency is 4 hourly feeds, she goes to bed anytime between 6-8 and sleeps in her cot at night but her bouncer chair in the day . She is 4 months old. Any tips?

 

[lisaalove]

This one is only 3w old so no ruitines yet. Just feeding on demand and letting him sleep as much as he wants.
My first is 4 1/2 and he had a routine nothing crazy just dinner every day around 6-7 then get ready for bed brush teeth go to the bathroom and read three books. (Sometimes less if we're running late) he likes to take his time with everything he does so bed at 8 works nicely. Expecially since he's one of those kids who will just lay there forever trying to fall asleep. Other than that he wakes me up when he wakes up we do breakfast and then lunch is 12-1 he doesn't really take naps any more other than when he is extremely tired.

 

[TTC First]

No problem horsey bird.

I would start with getting a consistent bedtime and trying to limit the sleeping during the day. I always get the kids up at the same time in the morning so I know that they will be ready for a nap on time. Right now I get the kids up at 9am and I know that by 11am they are ready for a nap. I make sure that they don't sleep between 9 and 11.

I have a 3 month old now that I have started putting in her crib for nap times. She doesn't always make it too 11am but if she falls asleep earlier I put her up in her crib. I make sure to wake them no more than 2 hours later so they don't sleep too long.

I keep them up for another 2 hours and put them down around 3pm. I make sure again that they don't nap in between. I get them up around 5pm.

After 5pm (depending on the age) they tend not to need another nap. My 3 month old will have a short nap around 7pm for 20 mins or so. Then I put them to bed at 9pm. Our kids always go to bed at 9 and have no issue with it. It gives DH and I some time to ourselves in the evening.

When they are younger they may not follow the routine totally but just stick with it and they will fall into it. Both my 8 month old and 3 month old are great with the routine. Taking care of two infants at a time can be a challenge so having a routine is essential and has helped a great deal.

 

[catty]

loose routine here.
mostly got up between 6-7am
we have breakfast then play and normally out the house by 9.30am to do an activity. try and get them to both nap at 12.30ish for 2 hours (youngest has a sleep in the car at 9.30-10.15ish)
then a snack at some point and dinner around 6ish and bed at 7pm for eldest and 7.30 youngest.
things that vary are bath just do that when I feel they need or for fun. they play whatever they want and if there not in the mood to go out we dont. no strict routine for getring dressed or anything like that.
strictest part of the day is definately bedtime but if one of them was really struggling to sleep id take them out and do what I had to do to help them sleep but I do really like them being in bed at a set time

 

[BabyMamma93]

i did try with bedtimes being at a set time but i cant because of how he naps, i am told alot that 'no routine is a disaster waiting to happen' i kind of agree, maybe letting him lead the way is asking for trouble, but do you know how hard it is to make a stuborn 1 year old sleep when he wants to play, its very hard, and very painful, so if he doesnt want to have a nap, ill let him nap when he wants to, he will eventually

 

[catty]

i did try with bedtimes being at a set time but i cant because of how he naps, i am told alot that 'no routine is a disaster waiting to happen' i kind of agree, maybe letting him lead the way is asking for trouble, but do you know how hard it is to make a stuborn 1 year old sleep when he wants to play, its very hard, and very painful, so if he doesnt want to have a nap, ill let him nap when he wants to, he will eventually

my son was just like that. it was sooo sooo hard. it would take me ovwr an hour to het him to sleep so no idea how I could hae crushed 2/3 naps in when it took forever just to do one. it was actually awful looking back. eventually I foumd the washing machine worked so id strap him into his baby carseat with blankets under his head to make it comfy put a load of washing on and hed be sleeping in 10 mins. even now I sometimes have to do it haha. try not to thohgh as its not really a great habit to get into but I was a desperate woman and I need mh alone time at night or im crabby

 

[Lemonade]

I have never enforced a routine with timings, but I have made one up that fits around what she normally does and her cues, if that makes sense?

I tried as much as possible to do the same things in the same order from around 2-3 months, but felt routines really worked for us from 6 months on.

This is our routine now at 7+ months (timings are approximate because she doesn't get up at the same time everyday):
6am - Get up, bottle.
7am - I have my breakfast, then give her hers.
8am - Play for about an hour.
9am - Nap (1.5 - 2 hours)
11am - Wake up, bottle.
12pm - Lunch
1pm - Play (we actually usually go out sometime around now)
2pm - Nap (shorter, 45 mins approx, usually in the car or buggy but cot if home).
2.45ish - Wake up, bottle.
3pm - 5pm - play/out/shop etc
5pm - dinner
5.30pm - play
6.30pm - bath
7pm - bottle and bed.

 

[bdb84]

I've been following a loosely modified version of Babywise since DD2 was a few weeks old. She's 2.5 months old now and she's very predictable. I understand that her routine will need fine tuning here and there to accommodate growth spurts and sleep regressions, but we'll cross that bridge once we get there.

She wakes up for the day between 7-7:30AM. We nurse, get the big kids off to school, come home and she's already ready for her first nap. I lay her down while she's still drowsy and she puts herself to sleep immediately.

She sleeps about an hour and then wakes up. Nurse, play, nurse again if she wants, and then goes down for another nap for about 45 minutes to an hour. In essence we just follow an "eat, play, sleep" routine. Sometimes it's "eat, play, eat, sleep" but I never let her fall asleep while nursing. Nursing to sleep for every nap/bedtime/middle of the night waking is something I wanted to avoid after going through a terrible bout of it with DD1.

She goes down for the night between 7-7:30PM and I do a dreamfeed at 10pm before going to bed myself. She sleeps through until some time between 4-5AM (this morning was 5:30AM), nurses, and settles right back in for another deep sleep until her usual wake time of 7-7:30AM.

 

[TTC First]

I think it's a combination of child led and parent led. If you know how many hours your child needs to sleep in a day you can create a schedule to match. If I let my kids sleep too much at night then it will mess up their first nap and there is no way that they will take it on time. I know if I let them sleep till 9 am, they are naturally tired 2 hours after that. This allows me to put them down without a fuss. I also know if I let them sleep too long in the afternoon, bedtime will be trouble so I get them up at a specific time then also. I think they are just like us and if they sleep too much during the day they won't sleep at night and vice versa.

 

[horseybird]

TTC

Thank you. My little one doesn't really sleep much in the day either. I did try and put her down in her cot in the day for naps but she got so distressed I had to give up, me sitting in the room and gradually retreating made no difference. I can't use white noise or any other sounds to sooth as she is deaf.

The only routine is around her feeds - 4 hourly. We wake her at 10 to feed and she sometimes goes to 5.

 

[BabyMamma93]

the looks i get from people when i tell them that M wakes up any time between 7am - 8.30am, is amazing, and when i say them times, 7am is early for him, it is usually 8.30am, some people tell me i should wake him at 7am, but then hes sooo crabby all day, so i leave him to wake when he wants to, i do take him to bed around 7pm if possible, some things do delay this, for example when we have people over for dinner, he may go at around 9pm, but he will usually go straight to sleep, where as if he goes at 7pm he can sometimes be awake, playing, messing, pulling hair etc until around 9pm.
ive also learnt that if he has a nap in the morning at around 10-11 then another nap after lunch at around 2-3pm and wakes up no later than 4.30pm he will sleep lovely that night, but if he doesnt have that afternoon nap hes a bugger to get to sleep. so yeah we probably do have more of a routine than we think actually!!

my one mistake is letting M feed to sleep, he still does this now, for his naps he mainly drinks the milk then goes to sleep (ive also not managed to rid the bottles yet) but on a night he does feed to sleep which i wish i never got him in the habbit off, this is the main reason i cant take bottles away yet

 

[felix555]

I think baby led is fine (I am all for it) but by the time they get to 1 as your LO is now they actually need a bit of routine.

 

[BabyMamma93]

yeah i have started with a kind of routine now hes one, this is things like bedtime at 7pm, lunch and dinner around the same time every day, i dont have bath time in a routine because he doesnt bathe every night due to bad eczema, but i think its more so naps that arent on a routine at all

 

[felix555]

I am sure he might drop to one nap soon and then it will be a lot easier to predict. Might also help if he wakes up at the same time every day.

If my LO is not awake at 7:30 I wake him up otherwise it has a knock on effect for the rest of the day.

He's been on the same schedule since about 14 months ..

up 7:30
nap 11:30 - 12:30/1:00
bedtime 7:30

 

[Button#]

With regards to feeding to sleep we started giving DS a beaker of milk after his tea with his fruit (he still has this) and he gradually had less feed at bedtime until he gave it up completely. It was also better for his teeth.

 

[BabyMamma93]

i have tried waking him up one morning and he was horrible all day, he literally just stropped all day until he went to bed that night, he is like me, hates been woken up!