Rowing because oh just dosent understand

[londonbird]

I am just so tired of the rowing, if anyone has any words of advice would be pleased

I just keep things to myself and cry when I get home most of the time but with mothers day coming up and my sister making comments about miscarriage in september- ie she hates me and is jealous because I have been pregnant... its just come to a head this week

Said to oh I was finding things hard and was going to take a day unpaid leave off work to just sleep, maybe pop into docs for a chat and just have some me time

his response was, I am stressing him out by "feeling upset", why do I have to ruin things etc by being unhappy. I pretty much sheild from anything drama or emotional as he is so easily depressed. But I literally just said I was going to take a day out as was just tired and needed time.

Now home on my own, hes got the kids..just crying my eyes out. Meant to take kids to nando at weekend but tried to explain I just want to be alone this weekend - he is making out I am making him depressed/unhappy/inflicting this on him..when I just pretend I am fine, happy etc all the time

I said to him I am tired of waiting, he says I am too young. how can I be tired of waiting? I feel like waiting since I lost Coral in September has been too long. I have stopped my pill, and told him so, I am not intrested in protection.

Just so frustrating and feeling so fed up..cant speak to him about anything with the guilt trip.

Sorry for rant guys, just need to get it off chest, thanks for reading

 

[Ley]

Didn't want to read and run
xx

 

[BearClaire]

I didnt want to read and run either.

I feel for you i really do. Men just dont get the same feelings and desire's that we women get, so they really cannot comprehend exactly what we are going through.



I'm sure he didnt mean to be insensitive?

 

[Deeper Blue]

I so sorry babe. It really seems like you've both had a really hard time of it recently *HUGS* After reading your post a couple of things spring to mind. Firstly I think a trip to the doctor is a good idea, did you do this? Maybe your starting to get a bit depressed, which is understandable and perhaps some councilling or something may help you work things through.
I definately think you need to somehow talk to your OH about this but it does seem like he's not making it easy. Perhaps he has been more deeply effected by the loss of Coral than you think and him just shutting you out is his way of coping? I don't know. Is there any way you can perhaps get someone to babysit the kids for a day or even a few hours so you two can have a bit of time together to go through things?
I'm afraid I don't know much about your situation but it sounds like you have children already and so I don't understand his 'your too young' comment'
I hope things get easier for you babe, and don't forget you can also come on here to rant!
xxx

 

[thinknboutbby]

Men are on a completely different wave length than us.....Never forget that!

 

[londonbird]

he just says he cant cope if I cry or am upset, I am just so exhausted being positive all the time and being happy happy happy..when I am on the verge of tears all day

Thanks guys

he says to have a bath and relax, think he just dosent understand

Going to stay home tommorow, well worth £65 ... just cant cope with it right now

 

[londonbird]

oh I am 24, he is 48, they are his kids! not mine.. they are lovely..and hes happy to try..but in a verrrry longgg time!

 

[Dumpling]

Poor you, take as much time as you need to feel better. I had a MC in Dec 2008 & I still feel sad about it. My mum had one 20 years ago & it still affects her so I don't think you ever properly get over something like that. The best advice she gave me was to mark it in some way. Plant a tree, have a memorial plaque something like that. Even if its just somewhere/something only you know about so you can go there privately if its something you don't want to worry/bother your OH with. Im the same, my OH doesn't know that Im still sad. Only you know when you're ready to try again, he's probably just worried about it & doesn't want either of you to have to go through it all again. Hope you feel better soon.

xxx

 

[londonbird]

Thanks hun

hes now ignoring me as I said I may not go to office tommorow. ugh

Give up, had a hot bath, gonna have a large wine n try to unwind
Thanks hunnies