Rude Gynecologist, feeling hopeless!!

[Kandyfloss3]

I am 20 years old (nearly 21) and am happily married to my hubby who is 26, I got married at the young age of 18 and me and hubby started trying for our family straight away.

Over two years later we still haven't had any luck what so ever.
When we finally built up the courage to go to the doctors last year they just kept pushing us away saying we are young it will happen and just keep on trying. After we had been back several times, they did all the basic tests on us both and everything came back normal.

I was then suspected for endometriosis (painful heavy periods, painful bowel movements, pain during intercourse ect.)

We was then referred to a specialist which we went to see yesterday afternoon and i can honestly say i came out in tears after the appointment.

When we arrived it was hard enough having to wait amongst all the pregnant women and couples coming out holding pictures of their scans of their babies. Does anyone else feel it is unfair and insensitive to make infertility patients wait amongst pregnant couples?

When we finally went in which was over 20minutes after out actual appointment time, he was very rude and didn't apologize for the wait.
He seemed like he couldn't be bothered with us and the first thing he did was say that he doesn't understand what we was doing there or why we would be referred and that they will not do anything for me because i'm young. He then kept on telling me how old I am over and over again making me feel like a child and making us both feel like we shouldn't of even been there.

We then got talking about my endometriosis and what could be done about that and i have a laparoscopy booked for September which I am very nervous about and they are also going to inject dye into my tubes to check for blockages. He told me that this is the only option I could have or if i wanted pain relief to go on the pill even though I am ttc because "you can't have everything you want" and about not been able to get pregnant that "You will just have to grin and bear it"


I understand that I am young but what i don't get is why young women ttc don't get taken seriously? I am not going to get any younger and aren't you supposed to be most fertile when your young? Even if he thinks I am too young why can't he at least of give me a little bit of hope or told me there are options available for when I am older?

Me and hubby are both upset about the way he treated us and very nervous about my laparoscopy because we feel like this is our only chance.

I don't know if I am over reacting but I am just upset at the lack of effort they put in for young people. They seem to think that just because you are young that everything is fine. But over two years of trying and not even a wiff of a BFP doesn't that tell them something?

 

[babylaw720]

I just turned 27 and my doctor says that I'm too young and I shouldn't be trying to get pregnant now anyways because I have too much going on. I'm pretty sure 27 is not too young.... I feel like some men, or even some women who have never battled with infertility don't understand what it feels like and what a concern it is for us women who are ttc. My doctor is an older woman, who never got married and never had kids. She doesn't understand "what the big rush is". I'm currently in search of a doctor who will be sympathetic to my situation and maybe try to help me. When it comes to ttc, you want a doctor that you click with, one who has the same goals in mind for you as you do for yourself. No one deserves to be treated like that. Every patient is an individual with different needs and goals than the one before them, and they need to realize that. The best thing for you I think would be to find a different doctor.

 

[Gaige]

That's awful!!
I can't believe the attitude of some medical professionals, it's really mind-boggling.

OH and I have only just found out that the gynaecologist we were referred to told us utter lies - he said because I don't ovulate (although he never bothered to order any hormone or ovulation blood tests for me) that I would never be able to have children.
He then told me that he didn't know why I even thought of trying for a baby anyway as I have a couple of health issues!!

I came out in tears, I honestly felt like such a failure.
We've now found out that what he said was utter crap and we're now waiting for me to have blood tests so we can move forward with TTC.

I'm so sorry you've both had to deal with this, please don't give up. I'd definitely recommend talking to another doctor.

 

[TTCgamer2.0]

I feel breathless with indignation for you guys. I can't believe people like that choose to be in the medical profession. Especially in a field where people are at their most vulnerable! It sounds like these people can't see past their own prejudices to make an educated and professional diagnosis. Grrr. If your insurance or Google allows you to write reviews for these people I would flame the crap out of them.

 

[vs011]

That's horrible how you were treated but guarantee you are probably not the last. I don't think many doctors or gyn get trained very well. You should go to a naturopath or natural fertility specialist doctor in your area. Forget the western medical professionals for now. Only when you can ovulate and don't give THEM any problems or worry that they can get sued, only then will they actually be helpful. Look into eastern medicine and practices for now. That is my 2 cents. This really makes me furious because pregnancy is such a deep and personal topic, basically your existance sometimes

 

[misalhalabi93]

I am 20 years old (nearly 21) and am happily married to my hubby who is 26, I got married at the young age of 18 and me and hubby started trying for our family straight away.


I understand that I am young but what i don't get is why young women ttc don't get taken seriously? I am not going to get any younger and aren't you supposed to be most fertile when your young? Even if he thinks I am too young why can't he at least of give me a little bit of hope or told me there are options available for when I am older?

I know how you feel EXACTLY.

I just turned 21 in April and I have a husband who turned 29 in February. We got married when I was 19 (Almost 20) and I have been trying for a baby since we got married because I want to be a young mom.

And even though I am young, that doesn't mean I am any less capable of being a good mom or wanting to have a child when I WANT a child...not when any doctor thinks I am old enough. And certainly its not fair being pushed aside for older mothers to be just because I am "young" and "Have time". To me, THIS IS THE TIME, and I am tired of being treated like I am not as urgent or my "Issues" aren't really issues just because of my age. .....Health issues don't have have age requirements or maturity dates and when we say we have a problem then we should be treated with as much care and urgency as anyone else. Not pushed aside for a later date.

I have noticed that with doctors AND sadly even some of the women on this forum who seem to make a joke out of you or take you lightly if you are young and TTC. They say things like "Cool down and wait" or "Don't stress if you haven't conceived because you are young" or "Take your time and be patient because you're young". .....If I said that to any of them they would have a cow
It like "I know my own age thank you. And I want a baby JUST AS MUCH as the rest of you"

I am SO sorry for what you went through and I sympathize deeply...believe me -_-

 

[patienceiav]

Its the same here for me, the specialist told us we were still young and didn't see the rush (we're both 28) asked what we work as etc because here it's so very important to have a blossoming career and most women focus on that til their mid 30s then it's considered normal to have kids.

She wouldn't help us during month 10 so we're going back next month to prove her that there's something wrong since they absolutely don't listen till it's been a year even if you have signs of issues.

Such a frustrating thing, why do people who don't give a crap about kids work with fertility treatments?? I feel your pain, noone should have spoken to you like this

 

[Sam10]

Wow. I think I would have told each and every one of these doctors where they could shove their degrees. So unacceptable.

 

[Mintastic]

Kandy - you are NOT overreacting. That is truly horrible that you were treated that way. Please report him. If you are in the US here are some steps you can take https://www.ehow.com/how_5106471_report-bad-doctors.html
If you are not in the US try googling "how to report a bad doctor in (where you live)"
I really hope you can have your tubes checked by a different doctor and get some answers soon.

Gaige - that is horrible - I had a doctor tell me I shouldn't have children because of a genetic condition I have (EDS) because the baby is likely to have it too. Uh...are you saying my parents shouldn't have had me?? Basically - "don't have a baby - it might be like you" - thanks. I later got the all clear from a geneticist who specializes in my type of disorders to go ahead and start ttc thank you very much.