Running out of positivity

[lishmin]

Hi All,

Some of you may know of me on here and know the full story but I just wanted to say that I am feeling so down today, feel like even though we have decided to see a private consultant re fertility tests that I am not sure
I have the strength to try again.

My husband gets angry with me if I talk of maybe looking at other options as I cannot face another MC even though I have only had 2.

Struggling to cry now.... just feel numb.



April 2011

July 2011

 

[kgriffin]

im sorry to hear you are feeling this way, I can relate, but keep your head up and just keep going forward,

 

[McStars]

Give yourself time to grieve, and don't rush into anything if you're not ready. The RE may give you new hope though.
I know that numb feeling all too well

 

[Jakkiw2]

I know the feeling...

I fell pregnant right away with my son - which hasnt prepared me for 19 months TTC the 2nd with a miscarriage in Aug and Nov Last year....

No sign of a pregnancy at all this year, its breaking my heart

 

[lishmin]

Thank you to all of you, I know you all know too well how I am feeling. I just wish we could do something, thats the most frustrating bit is that no matter who you are or how much money, love, willpower etc you have it is worth nothing when TTC as you ae in the hands of fate and right now I hate fate.

I am angry, sad, numb, resentful to my pregnant friends, I just want to feel normal and move on but the thought of trying again scares me and the thought of never having a baby scares me more.

Hard times for us all.

Thanks for reading xxx

 

[Paige.Br]

I know the pain you are feeling now. It is very much distressing to lose a pregnancy. But, that is a normal thing to grieve about the loss. Just give yourself more time to heal the pain that you feel inside. Don’t rush things. Stay healthy and I think it is better for you to linger now with some other diversions like regular quality dating with your husband and friends to somehow ease the pain. And when everything is ready for you, then that would be the best time to plan again conceiving.

 

[Nat0619]

Lishman, you are so not alone in losing positivity hun - mine has completely gone this month

I had a mmc end of April and have had two AFs since it now. Didn't try the month immediately after the mc but did last month and I was just so crushed to get the , even though I know I've only given it one month My fear is not so much having another mc, it's the fear I won't ever get pregnant again We took 12 months to get our first and I can't bear the thought of the next one taking that long (or longer) again Particularly as my age is very much against me - I turned 37 in June

Two of my friends have had their babies this week and it's killing me inside I should have been about 26 weeks pregnant now

 

[puppycat]

Awww hun I know exactly how you feel.

When I conceived my daughter I took it for granted that everything went fine and according to plan. It took us 5 months to conceive her and she was my first BFP - now we've been trying almost 10months with 3 losses and it really gets you down. Looks like we lost in the same months too

 

[ceejie]

I can relate. I got pregnant in March, MC in May and had complications requiring a 2nd d&c in June. By that time I was so positive that everything was going to be fine, that with all the complications I had, I had my share negativity. I stopped visiting the TTCAL board, and just stuck to the TTC one because I didn't feel like I needed to be here anymore. I ov'd in June and was so positive. But since AF came and I've started this cycle I just think...really? what are my chances? it took so long last time, and look what happened then. I'm so sick of hearing "you need to relax" or "don't worry just let it happen".....

I have a friend that had a baby a few weeks ago. I went to visit in the hospital, and smiled and did the right things, but the whole time I was in the hospital surrounded by all those babies all I could think was why do all these people get to have babies when I can't?

Then I think, what if I do get pregnant again? I won't be happy....I'll be nervous and scared the whole time. I was so happy last time...I felt so good....will I ever feel like that again?

Right now I am trying to focus on dieting, which is at least distracting me a bit. As cliche as it is, I guess all we can do is keep doing what we are doing and wait it out. And support each other.

 

[Brookegarrett]

i understand the feeling. it is very hard sumtimes to stay positive because everyone else seems to get pregnant and have children so easy while we struggle and hope to make it 9 months..ive been through 2 mc...its very hard bc 7 of my friends are pregnant and 3 delivered last week. i am having to avoid fb. i hope it gets better for u!

 

[tu123]

Sorry you are having a hard time

Dont pressure yourself. maybe take a weekend off with OH and take a break?

BUT, there IS hope. It took 5 MC before I fell pregnant with my daughter but she stayed for the long haul