So glad to find this, I was working though this very topic on my run tonight. Well put Pickleton, totally get where you're coming from. I have a story, so please bear with me, hope it helps endorse your decisions!
I am 43 and ttc my second child after a 12 week m/c late last year. I am struggling to get back on track emotionally and physically after our loss. Prior to this, I had been a serious runner, covering up to 80 miles a week during marathon training over the past few years and getting back to good running within a couple of months of the birth of my 2 year old son, despite the fact he was born by c-section. I definitely don't run to be thin, I run because I adore running, but I love being lean and taut as a result, if that makes sense.
My problems began when we saw an obstetrician privately last Summer to ascertain whether there was anything we could do to increase our chances of conception, in view of our (and particularly my) age. When she examined me she pointed out that I was rather thin and could stand to be a bit heavier, fair point. I acknowledge that many would look at me and think I could do with a hearty meal! However, when I replied that I ate a healthy balanced diet and always ate till I was full, I was incensed to be told 'They all say that' as though I was some teenage anorexic!!! My cycles have always been regular, even with high mileage which I believe is testimony to my diet and the fact that I am naturally a thin person. I privately stuck two fingers up when I discovered I was pregnant 2 weeks later, no thanks to her but au naturelle
While I had excluded heavy sessions from my training a few months before, that month I had stopped running about a week before my + test, don't ask me why, but around implantation time I guess. Then, unlike in previous pregnancies when I continued to exercise (2 m/c and a live beautiful baby boy
) I decided to give up running completely until 12 weeks. It just felt right for me this time, although I really really missed training and the high it gives, as well as noticing my body was turning to jelly - guess it doesn't take long at my age! At 11 weeks I almost gave in and went for a run but thought I should just wait for my scan to be sure it was a good idea. I never had the chance to do so as the day before our 12 week scan, at 12+2, we lost our precious little one. I am still reeling but am now sooooo glad I didn't run, I would never have known if it made a difference. Since then I have not felt terribly inclined to breath in and out, let alone run, and have also had that nasty woman's words ringing in my ears, thinking maybe I should be a bit fatter to enhance my chances......So, I have eaten cr*p on top of my normal healthy diet. It is just not me and I know that my physical state is contributing directly to my emotional (lack of) wellbeing. Only very recently I reached a place where I decided I must run again because I know I will feel better, and hope this doesn't sound stupid, but my body knows how to function when I am exercising, it is probably in shock that I have abstained for so long! I have been out only a handful of times and feel so desperately unfit that it would be easy to give up. I described in another post how I feel I have been living in suspended animation since my m/c, feeling as though real life could only resume once I was pregnant again. That hasn't happened yet and I now think that I must re-engage with my life and then the pregnancy will follow, please God.
Forgive my long, boring post, it has helped me to write it down but I guess my upshot advice would be to do what feels right for you and your body. This may not be the time to start Autumn marathon training, but if running gives you a sense of wellbeing then it has to be a good thing. Also, the fact that I just felt it would be right not to run before I even knew I was pregnant is curious, maybe you just have a sense of what to do, even if that's not a conscious thing. Hope you've not all fallen asleep and that this helps xx
BTW, I totally 'get' worrying it will be too much jolting for the tiny fragile cells trying to implant, even though I know in my logical brain that this is not so. Maybe run slightly shorter/easier during 2ww???
Good luck to all the healthy, fit ladies trying to get pregnant xxx
