General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[tingley]

@tingley that's so funny, my SIL said the same thing (they were "team green" for their third and she also didn't think to look until the nurses asked her lol). I feel like I would immediately want to know, but I guess I don't know until I'm in that scenario. I imagine the first thing you are really focused on is the relief if baby being out and that they're ok.

Tingley & @autumnal how old are your youngests? And how long have you been on the ttc train this go-round?

Dobs I love your adventures in cooking. I'm here for all of it. I need ideas for meals myself so if you have anything that's particularly good, do share! Especially if it's kid friendly. Good Lord, it is an impossibility finding food all my children will eat unless it's pizza or chicken nuggets. Those are literally the only two foods I can think of that they all universally like without complaint. Also sometimes steak but even that's not reliable with the youngest.The do NOT all like french fries, hot dogs, pasta, or mac & cheese (yes I know this is a pasta but it's basically it's own food category). I mean what the heck? These are like childhood staples. Admittedly though it's mostly my oldest who has texture issues with mushy things. But he hates potatoes of all kinds, unless they're chips.

Shae lol at hubby making y sperm; time will tell! I will be honest, I would of course love a girl. I'm back to being hopeful for a girl, but I am so afraid of being disappointed (like in the literal gender disappointment kind of way). But to be honest I really think the timing and everything is making a boy a lot more likely. The time I *think* we conceived and the time I'm pretty sure I was ovulating (not because of my ov pains that were conveniently absent that month but because of other symptoms looking back) were pretty much the same day. We dtd on ov day with all the kids, except for the m/c which was o-5, so I will definitely be shocked if it's a girl. From the looks of it, that theory about sperm being the faster swimmers holds true, at least in my experience. I suppose it's possible that the encounter producing the winning sperm was from earlier that week, but I'll be really honest, I don't remember when we dtd other than that friday because we were out of town so it was different/significant. We most likely did, but I don't remember the details beyond the hotel :/ Anyway it doesn't matter, but I'm just trying to keep my expectations realistic. History shows....this is probably a boy as well!

I think it was exactly that, the relief of baby being safe and pushing being over! It also reassured me that even though I had been sort of secretly hoping for a girl, that in reality I didn't actually care, and was just happy to have my baby!

This is our first month ttc this time round. My first, third and fourth were conceived very quickly, my second took a year with two miscarriages in that year before him. My youngest is 4, she will be 5 in November. How old are yours?

Interesting you say that about timing and whether you have a boy or girl. With my fourth I researched it lots, and then when I conceived her we definitely dtd way before ovulation and then I purposefully didn't close to it, and then she was a girl after 3 boys! So I do think there is definitely something in that theory. But what I have learnt from having my girl is that she is no different to the boys, if anything she is even more feral and rough, but that could just be her!

 

[autumnal]

@gigglebox I'm on my first cycle but am supposed to be ntnp but I want to ttc hahaha. My youngest is about to be 3.5

 

[DobbyForever]

yeah so bad. Idk why I thought that was a good idea. My mom does it for her mimosa but that’s champagne not tequila so oops. Got s* sleep. I’m struggling. It’s a miracle I made it through work at 7 more conferences.

Aww tingley A has a friend who is just like that. Love it. Though I selective remember half of this play date they had

Gigs home chef is so not convenient for sharing. The ingredients listed and amounts are online not on the card they send you. I did like this pork meatloaf though! It was 10 oz of ground pork mixed with 1/4 cup of panko, 2 oz of part skim riccota, pepper, garlic salt. Topped with a layer of cheese spread (except idk what it meant by cheese spread lol) and parm to bake.

It’s more the things like oh I would never have considered:
- baking green beans and bell peppers and using garlic salt
- bruschetta but instead of bread it’s on top of salmon
- adding a dash of lemon when steaming broccoli

It’s not kid friendly at all. That’s a pretty common complaint online. There’s no way I’d get A to eat any of it. And the really like ooo that sounds exciting meals (for me) always end up being premium so they cost like $13-15/serving. I limit myself to the $9.99/serving meals so my food is good but like this week I’m having a beef meatloaf and a pork meatloaf dish and pasta. Not exciting. Though I loved pasta and meatloaf as a kid lol

 

[gigglebox]

lol @ "ntnp" -- once you're as educated as we all are here, I don't think ntnp exists! Good luck, hope you catch quickly!

Hmmm Dobs too bad they don't make it convenient by sending you the info in the box. But yeah even just meal titles I can work with. Just anything to spark, "Oh, that sounds good!" because food is a struggle right now. Also I have the very annoying problem that I will crave something so badly, but the second that craving is satisfied, I want nothing to do with that food anymore. The only exception so far was the crab masala with the naan. Ironically the actual crab legs I insisted on that I ate my fill of and had some left remain in the freezer because I have no interest.

My birthday's next week and I my Mom's taking me out to a place that has really good salmon, one of my fave dishes from a restaurant. As such, I am forbidding myself to eat salmon until then (even though it sounds good right now) for the above reason.

Cereal and my morning protein coffee have been good on repeat, and that's about it.

Anyway sorry to moan lol. Tomorrow's my NIPT test. I honestly don't know if I want to find out the sex or wait until the next ultrasound....I don't have any real plans on that still; more like I just want to find out when it feels right. Kind of like when we told the kids; I was going to wait but the moment felt right at the waterfall. I was going to record it for the channel (I want to make a video about all of this....maybe) but I feel like having a camera on all of us for such an intimate moment will make it feel unnatural, so I may skip that.

Idk...I have a lot of thoughts. all the time. lol

 

[HalfricanMa]

That sounds like a great way to protect the excitement for your birthday dinner salmon! Seems if you indulge your fill like the crab legs, by birthday dinner you’ll be over it. Haha!

I don’t have a channel or anything like that so I can’t speak on how that weight affects an intimate moment. I recorded when I told DH of our first child because he stealthy recorded when he proposed to me. I enjoy having those clips. And then when we surprised his parents about our first child, we sent that video to the rest of our family and they enjoyed that way of announcing. My husband literally caught his mom passing out from the news! When things calmed a little then we point to the camera so they could say something to the family! Haha

Personal use like that vs a channel are different things though. Plus, since i don't often set up and record us, we forget the camera is there; it’s still natural.

 

[gigglebox]

We recorded announcing to my husband's family with the 2nd and 3rd. The second it was on Father's day, we said, "let's take a family photo!" and we got everyone together and I said, "Ok, say 'gigs is pregnant'" -- it was hysterical. My MIL didn't get it at all. She just said it and continued smiling for a picture. Everyone else had expected responses, then had to spell it out for MIL, lol!!! For ds3, it was easter and we had them open little eggs with pictures of the positive test inside. This time we just told them at a family gathering; there was a game on so the guys were all in one room watching the game and the ladies were all at the table chatting (there were only 3 couples). I had hubby tell the guys, and I told the ladies. It was not nearly the production of the others; I was planning on something bigger but honestly it just didn't feel right this time. I just didn't feel like it to be honest lol

 

[gigglebox]

oh also I never shared those videos or anything with social media. I think you're right, there's like an added pressure or something unnatural about knowing you're recording something that may be put out for anyone to see. I don't like that feeling lol

 

[shaescott]

DH took the test today. He thinks he did pretty well, but you have to do really well to pass, so fingers crossed. We’ll know in 48 business hours or less.

 

[autumnal]

@shaescott good luck!! That sounds pretty exciting!!

I think I'm post-O now, ordered some opks and hpts with my husband's blessing lol, starting to feel pretty real. My only trepidation is I'm applying to do a MSc. If I get accepted the prof wants me to do summer fieldwork and TA a field course in August so I'll have to put ttc on the back burner for a few months. I'm kinda just leaving it in God's hands, whether I get pregnant quickly and have to decline it or if I get rejected, it's all in his plan.

 

[gigglebox]

ahhh Good luck sent your way Shae!! I hope he did even better than he thinks, and also that you don't have to wait until the weekend is over to find out!

I like your attitude about everything @autumnal . Is it the type of thing you can do later if need conception happens fast?

ok edited to add...I'm getting increasingly nervous about my blood work tomorrow. I pray all is fine with baby, but also with me! I was left with anemia and low platelets after my illness earlier this year. I never got the recheck done before getting pregnant...I don't know why I'm so nervous. I did talk to my ob about it and she seemed pretty unconcerned, like there's already a plan in place if that's what I'm dealing with (that if it's that bad I might get a platelet infusion? I really hope that isn't the case though). So yeah any prayers or good juju that all the blood work looks good are appreciated. just please let everything be in normal limits!

 

[autumnal]

@gigglebox yes for sure I can absolutely do it later fx you get good blood work tomorrow. It's good that your OB is confident everything is ok. But hopefully no interventions needed!

 

[DobbyForever]

Autumnal, I second Gigs. Once you’ve come to the dark side there’s no unknowing what we know hahaha. So hard not to be NTNP. Now me not knowing what MSc is…. Nvm I just thought of the due date. Well sounds like one way or the other, next summer holds great paths for you!

Tingley sending baby dust!

Gigs to be fair there’s a spot in the app where I can click on a recipe in my cookbook, previously ordered, and then it will create a shopping list. But meh. I’m lazy hahaha. I’ll post the screenshot of my recipes so far once I pop back onto my phone. As long as you still have the craving long enough to get it. I wouldn’t stress over leftovers or just not finishing food you don’t feel like. Will hubs eat it? Freezer works, too! Love the plan to stay away from salmon to fully enjoy the experience! Hope the NIPT goes smoothly and the results come back sooner than later. I feel like you’ll decide not to look and then it’ll like surprise you haha. I feel like I read someone say that once like they opened their results and the first thing they saw was the sex. Not sure if they were exaggerating. But I guess you could tell them ahead of time that you don’t want to know and they could redact it? Maybe? Lol idk. I just remember someone on BnB at some point saying they had intended not to know then accidentally stumbled on it in some medical notes.

Sending all the good juju for the test! As Aragorn says, I keep none for myself.

HalfafricanMa, yes! So pro stealth videos. Heck I’m pro any videos haha. They’re so fun to look back on. And exactly like definitely have to factor in is this video for just us or social.

But Gigs I also get that sometimes it’s nice to step back and know that you only lived that moment privately/ in your hearts and memories.

Shae that’s so awesome! I’m glad he feels confident. FXed!

AFM done with conferences so I get 3 hours to myself tomorrow. I'm so ticked off. I got my local ballot and, needless to say, many emails were sent to mutual parties of interest to point out their endorsement is stupid. A is struggling at his after school care and they want to kick him out. He got upset because he got in trouble over something I don't think is entirely his fault having seen it firsthand, and he eloped across campus. They're just terrified because he says he's going home, and one day it could evolve into that and home is across busy roads and an expressway... and he's fast. He could easily hit the expressway before someone catches him if he chose to bolt that way. But also tell the school not me. If it's before 4, it's a school problem. I pay $800 a month for him to be at this program like 6 hours a week.

In less ranty news... the shore excursions FINALLY posted for our cruise. My mom is still pissed at me but oh well. One port still isn't listed. We're booked for dolphin "swimming" (because I'm a hypocrite lol). I opted not to swim with the pigs because someone pointed out it's deeply unsanitary and I'm so prone to utis. But I did snag a villa so A and I have a safe retreat while he plays on a private beach. I'm so paranoid about traveling solo so the safety and security outweighed the cost. Says the broke woman who just took out a loan to consolidate the debt from attorney's fees and paid another $4k to an attorney yesterday. I'm on the fence about booking an everglades thing the day we get back just because the drive is soooo long (1 hour each way) but our flight doesn't leave until the evening anyway. I had originally just planned to stay on board and enjoy the pool a bit. I know my mom will be extra mad because she wanted to do Everglades on our last trip (not that there was time) and I gave her all this sass about A jumping off the airboat and getting eaten by a gator Plus I'm broke after the villa. And I still am waiting on one port to open up their excursions and I have my eye on a glass bottom shark tour. Which also scares me cuz Aiden jumps/stomps Better be some reinforced glass

 

[HalfricanMa]

What an end to your post @DobbyForever! I laughed so hard “better be some reinforced glass”!!
Your trip sounds amazing. When are you going? I’ve never tried a cruise because I dont really like being around people haha. I love being on the water though. I used to sail with my dad a lot. Our sailboat handled international water! Sooo neat but feels like a lifetime ago!

The idea of not recording nor fussing with pictures, rather living it in that moment to treasure only in your memory & heart is something i’m trying to do more. I’ve tried doing a rule of ‘5 good pictures then the camera goes away’ when we go places. Those pics can be getting my family together for a posed picture or just snapping the action ones but once i feel like i have 5 nice pics for that place or activity, camera goes away and I live in the moment focused on my family. It’s sweeter that way and I think ds likes that too.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooo sailing! That’s so fun! Is it something you might pick up later? Idk why but generations of sailors is just such an endearing thing to me. That’s awesome it could travel, did you ever use it to visit any cool destinations?

5 good pictures! Yes! Love it. I need more than five though though sometimes I’m good with just one. I do get torn just because they’re such a great speech tool for A and I wish I had more pictures as a kid. But I take so many I feel like I’m living life through a lens so I’m with you. Trying to scale back.

We’re going for Thanksgiving. I’m having so much buyer’s remorse. I booked it because I was angry my stepdad pulled the family beach house from under my me last minute. There was a Labor Day sale and I got a like $100 credit towards excursions. It felt so cheap but then the flight coming back is so expensive! And then the excursions. It’s gotten out of control

 

[shaescott]

Gigs praying that your blood work will be normal

I think recording a video of telling people is super fun, but like it also has to be done so it doesn’t take away from the moment. I don’t love the YouTube mom videos where they film themselves taking the test and react looking straight into the camera. Seems kinda fake. Someone who isn’t used to being on camera 24/7 doesn’t have the instinct to look directly into a camera lens during that kind of moment. I like the videos that seem more genuine, like they set up a camera to capture the moment but had their moment just like they would have if the camera wasn’t there. When we actually start TTC I might set up a camera (just reading this back and realizing I very much need to clarify that I will not be setting up a camera to capture us literally TTC lmao). Idk. When I take a urine test I usually am sitting on the toilet while I wait for it to process, so that wouldn’t make a great video to look back on lmao. Telling DH could potentially be a good video but it would depend on if I could even get a good place to put the dang camera. I don’t actually even have telling him fully planned out, I just have a funny onesie I wanted to use, but idk if I’m gonna make him a present or just have a spread for him to see or what. Agh. I gotta look up ideas. Although, I’ve probably got at least a few months to figure that out.

Dobs oooo a cruise! Super fun! I haven’t been on one since I was under 21 though, so I couldn’t experience the open bar packages DH and I still liked the comedy shows without the booze. On the islands though, the drinking age was 18, so we did indulge there, and it’s where I tried my first mojito. We did find at-sea days fairly boring, most daytime activities were either for kids or older adults, and the pool deck was a bit loud, but we didn’t mind filling that time in the stateroom Hopefully A will enjoy either kids activities or the pool deck!

HalfricanMa I like the 5 photo rule. My mom took sooo many photos when I was a kid. Turns out, she doesn’t have a visual memory, she literally can’t picture things in her mind. She can’t pull up even a vague image of my in her head. She thought counting sheep wasn’t literal and that visualizing was like a metaphor or something. Wild.

AFM even my deeply anti-Christian little sister said she would pray for DH just for this. It meant a lot.

 

[DobbyForever]

Lmfao I love your clarification Shae. I assumed vlogging but

Yeah I haven’t been in like 6 years. It’s a short one, just four days. So no sea days except for embarkation day and disembarkation where I need to decide on plans. We have priority boarding. Their accessibility desk emailed. It also sounds like, as long as I talk to the restaurant manager at c/I they’re willing to bring A’s safe foods to any onboard dining place. They didn’t answer about kids club though. The cruise line isn’t RC, which is autism friendly and partners with autism at sea or whatever it’s called. But I need the flexibility NCL offers and we’re already latitude members. The ship looks meh for its pool but A doesn’t need much to be happy. I; sadly, can’t drink much as I’ll be flying solo. But our villa has drink service and the ocean is pretty calm there so I may be able to sneak a cocktail or two on the beach. I’m just super excited about the dolphins. And not being here.

 

[shaescott]

lol Dobs I really only meant like filming test reactions, so not even vlogging. I’m not comfortable talking at a camera. At all.

I’m sure it’ll be nice just to be on vacation. Booze not necessary, just a fun extra. At our all inclusive we only got drunk the first night. After that we just sat at the pool or on the beach with a book and frozen drink in hand, sipping slowly enough we didn’t even get a buzz (not on purpose, just how it worked out).

 

[autumnal]

The cruise sounds wonderful Dobs. I hope you enjoy yourself and have a restful time. The dolphin thing sounds amazing!

 

[DobbyForever]

Awww well hopefully we can talk you into some baby haul videos hehe. But yes it’s so cute even if you just do them for yourself to watch later. I love looking back on my little home videos, and A does, too.

Thanks! I also got to treat myself today. There’s a ramen spot (Ramen Nagi) that always has a crazy line. I was able to go today. Had my music. Talked to my brother in the phone. Got pink berry for dessert. Nice little refresh.

 

[gigglebox]

awww Dobs I love how excited you are about the dolphins! That's going to be great. Maybe hold off on the everglades since Mom's already gonna be pissed and might as well save the money. Maybe she'll pay for it if you wait. I see a few recipes that are inspiring....but I'll have to look again later when I haven't just eaten. Also yeah come on y'all, that's a lot of money to pay for a limited service and then them not be on top of things with A.

Oh that was totally me with the gender reveal btw. It was with ds1 when we had all the genetic testing done because he had a "bad" NT scan. They asked if I wanted to know the gender and I asked if they could email it to me, and I would open the email when I was ready. Well I gave them my gmail address, and gmail displays the sender, the subject, and the first line of the email in your inbox. On her email, all she wrote was "XY means boy!!" and that was it. So it was right in my inbox when I opened the inbox, no need to actually click on the message DH wasn't ready to know yet until we finished all the testing stuff, so I had to carry around this huge secret for a few days until he decided he was ready (for the record, he was absolutely convinced it was a girl).

@HalfricanMa that sounds like a good rule. I'm on the opposite end of that, almost always forgetting to take pictures! Especially at group activities, like family events. I never remember.

Shae!! Aww that's so sweet of your sister! I love that you have such a good relationship with her. Dare I say...a little envious?