sad, lonely and upset:(

[Ckelly79]

Things have been going down hill over the last few months with OH, I'm almost certain I'm going to end up on my own now, I just really wanted this pregnancy to be different compared to my last 2 over 11years ago. (i was in a violent marriage which ended and I brought my children up on my own). I've tried talking to him and he just tells me he's unhappy and this is not the life he wanted, he hates my house coz of area we in but can't afford to move. I honestly believed I had found my one and nothing would break us especially as I've supported him through so much over the last 2 years, I'm now beginning to feel I'm wrong. He makes me cry everyday I feel so sad and lonely to the point I just think I would be better off alone again.
I try so hard to make him happy, give him everything I can afford but I can see its not good enough.
Sorry to moan but at first I thought it was the hormones but he's constantly saying he's unhappy coz of where we live he's unhappy with our lifestyle. I think its me making him unhappy he said he's got nothing to be proud of.
I'm just so tired and low right now.
Any advice would be great. X

 

[birdieboo]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. I'm afraid I don't have any advice except to say life is too short to be so unhappy. Have you spoken to your partner about how you're feeling?
X

 

[lewood88]

awww hun

this isnt fair on you is it? if hes unhappy why should his misery affect you in my eyes its selfish, and as for saying he has nothing to be proud of hes going to be a dad and have a beautiful baby isnt that something to be proud of??

i could say '' get rid you will do better without him '' but im not the one in your situation.... you should sit him down and ask him what he wants in life and if it isnt envolveing you then really he shouldnt cause you anymore upset should he

i do hope everything plans out for you hun

 

[_Lexi_]

It's a bit late for him to be saying its not the life he wanted. If he can't support you, your children and the baby, to the point where he's draining you emotionally, perhaps you are better off without him. I'm sure once the baby is here, he will realise just how much he has to be proud off. I don't like where I live, both the house and the area, but at the moment, its what we can afford, and its a home for this lo. The house is in a pretty bad state, but I've started painting a couple if rooms and it looks better already, and I feel better living here, I know it doesn't change the area though. The way he's treating you isn't fair. You shouldn't have to buy him things to make him happy. Where abouts in Norfolk are you? I think he just needs a bit of a kick up the backside and appreciate what he's got. He has you, two step children, and a little one on the way, he needs to sort his priorities out. I'd love to move, but where we are is practical and financially doable. If he's complaining about the house that much, is he doing anything to improve the situation, getting a better job so you can afford somewhere else, anything like that? x

 

[Mel_jj]

Sorry to hear about how you are feeling.....im not sure I have much helpful advice but it sounds like you both need to sit down and let go and really talk about how your both feeling if you both love each other then im sure you will be able to work through it maybe some counselling might help as well so you can both get your feelings out on neutral ground. I really hope you manage to work things out

 

[Ckelly79]

Thanks ladies I tried talking to him this afternoon and he basically reiterated how crap life was, basically telling me everything that's wrong with me as a person and how life was so great before we were together (i know he lying there). I'm just at the point where I can't continue Like this. I've told him I'm going on my own Friday for my long glucose test and whooping cough injection I honestly want to go on my own .

 

[NewlyWedFifi]

So sorry you're going through this at what should be a happy time. Maybe his fears and anxiety about the baby coming is making him act this way?

 

[rowleypolie]

I hope things get better, I would keep in mind that he is under a lot of change right now anticipating the new LO and I would be careful not to ruin a 2 year relationship over it. He may have the feeling that he is not good enough to raise a new baby and wants to live in a better place, just keep in mind the emotional state he may be in. Trust me if he was the one before you fell pregnant, he will still be that guy in a few months. Both of you are going through a lot emotionally. My DH and I tend to fight more whilst pregnant and it all sorts it's self out when baby is around 4 months and the stress of a newborn had worn off.

 

[tristansmum]

I would say try to avoid making any big decisions until the baby has come. Perhaps he is freaking out about becoming a dad? Is it his first? Saying he has nothing to be proud of is silly and he should realise once the baby comes that he made a life and thats a big thing to be proud of. Was everything ok before you fell pregnant? I hope things work out ok. You've done this once before on your own so i'm sure you are strong enough to do it again. XXXX

 

[Ckelly79]

No he has a 19 and 15 year old and we use to have a really wonderful relationship we were so close. He told me today we are on different pages. I'll try not to make any big decisions just yet. But I know I can do it again on my own if I have to x

 

[AllieM]

In all honesty, he sounds like a spoiled, whiney brat. If he's not happy he should just leave and not bring you down with him every single day. You sonund like a strong woman. Sit back through the rest of the preganancy, and if he doesn't change his attitude within a few months after the babay arrives, kick his sorry ass to the curb.

 

[cupcake0406]

Flipping heck, he's being a bit harsh there reiterating how rubbish he feels with you?! That's absolutely horrible, if he isn't happy he could have gone a better way about it, and certainly not stressing you whilst you are pregnant. I think he is being very unfair I hope you manage to come to a decision that makes you and your 3 lovely children happy xx

 

[chezababy]

I agree with what others have said about it not being fair you having to put up with that however saying things like he has nothing to be proud of sounds like he could be feeling depressed. I think you should be encouraging him to get some help especially if everything was fine before as things may just be getting on to of him. Even if he has children already a new baby may be daunting and he could be worried about how stable you are financially etc. obviously if he refuses help you may need to look at other options but at the start of my pregnancy my partner was depressed and kept picking arguments so I sent him straight to the doctors, in the end they signed him off work for a week and that was all it took for him to get his head around things and feel more in control. Your partner may need more than that perhaps counselling or something but I wouldn't give up on him until you have at least spoken to him about the possibility of him getting some help. I hope everything works out for you, you seem like a strong person who will make sure things are ok for your children no matter what the outcome is.

 

[Lilllian]

It sounds to me like he is depressed- can he go and see someone about it? He probably feels down about everything right now and can't see a happy way out - it's not you, it is HIM! I would suggest you get him to see his doctor about it? If he is depressed than that is why he will be unhappy with everything around him at the moment. I have felt a bit depressed at times over this last year (and I'm talking minor depression) and I know that you look at everything negatively, and can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. he needs to talk to someone. I feel for you as I know my husband has had a rough time of it with me over these last few months.

You must think of you and your baby though and put yourselves first. I hope it works out for you!!