Sad... OH wants tubes tied. Team blue.

[doublemiracle]

I love my two boys and I know that they are SO happy to be having a little brother but I know how badly my Mother wants a granddaughter and honestly, I was really hoping for a girl this time as well. I want someone to look up to me like I look up to my mother. Also, this was planned to be our last and OH wants me to get my tubes tied now. I would no doubt be sad every time I saw a mother and her daughter if I had to commit to a life of no more babies...
I feel so bad being disappointed and I promised myself I would be elated either way. I know the second I see this little peanut I will fall in love all over again, just like I did was my two other little men.

 

[ILoveYouZandT]

If you have a single doubt in whether or not you want more children (regardless of what your OH thinks), don't do it!!!! There is no reason you can't do it later, be that after more children or not. You don't sound even close to 100% sure, so I wouldn't.

I'm sure you will love your new little man like crazy! I have two boys as well, and should find out next week whether we finally got a girl or another little boy. I tell myself I need to be happy as well, but I really don't think you can prepare yourself either way.

Have a chat with your OH and tell him your concerns.

 

[_jellybean_]

Hon, I had a chat with my doctor about having mine tied, and he said that you have to KNOW deep, deep down, that even if God forbid something terrible happened, you would under NO circumstances ever want any more children of your own.

It doesn't sound like you're even close to there! Please don't have the surgery.

Please have a talk with your DH about how you feel. Oh, and you can do high tech gender swaying for a girl...it can be expensive, and there are reasons that people don't want to do it, but it's an option.

Please talk with your DH.

 

[BlueHadeda]

I agree with the other ladies. You have to be 100% sure. Not because your dh wants it or is pressurising you, but because YOU'RE sure.

I had a son and daughter when I begged my dh (who wanted only 2) to have a 3rd baby. He agreed and I wished for a little girl, but it was a little boy. I loved him completely and thought for years that my life is full and I'm happy and that we're done with babies. But when he was 3, I got so broody and desperately wanted another baby, and again wished for a little girl. I never thought my dh would agree, but somehow, after a while, he couldn't take my sadness anymore and agreed to a 4th. With the request that I seriously consider tying my tubes. We had the 4th baby when I was 38 already and it was my 4th c-section. The dr said my uterus can't handle any more babies, it has too much damage and scarring now. So I was happy with the decision to tie my tubes. In my case, it was the right thing to do. Even though I would've LOVED having more and more babies as long as God would've given me some. Unfortunately it's not practical in my situation to take a chance on leaving my children motherless if something would happen to me with another pregnancy. So I feel at peace with my decision to sterilise.

Our 4th baby turned out to be another little girl, so I am superhappy about that, of course. My friend also had her last and 4th baby when she was 39, and it turned out to be a little girl after 3 boys.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[haylo]

I have a plan, tell DH to get the snip. Your op is so much more severe and not reversible!

 

[doublemiracle]

Thank for your suppport ladies. Although I still have some sadness (mainly seeing little girls) I am starting to be excited with having another baby boy. I know the second I see him I will love him to no end.
I have pretty much convinced OH that I CANNOT get my tubes tied. I know that I wouldn't be happy with it. I want to try once more and although he doesn't want to I think he sees how badly I want to try once more. He said we will have to wait longer this time and that's much better then a definite "we're done" to me. Hoping he doesn't change his mind again cause I am not going to change mine!

 

[missmiylove]

yea I think you should keep trying!
my mom had 3 girls & with the last try she had a boy!
So it may turn out great! & if it doesnt- try again lol.

 

[Willow87]

Pfft hun please my response to him would be, "well if you don't want anymore children then YOU can go and get the snip. kthxbye."

 

[BeccaxBump]

My simple answer to that would be "No". Me and my fiancé don't want anymore children, but we will leave the option open until we're 30 at least incase we have a radical change of mind.
xoxox