same sex dads

[tommybar]

Hi all,
We are same sex dads to a 3 and a half year old daughter. she was a surrogate so we have had her from birth. She is Bilingual so im Daddy and my partner is Tati. She has just started nursery and is now asking where her mum is. How did you guys go about it? We tell her she has Daddy and Tati and how lucky she is to have 2 dads. The surrogate is still in touch so when the time comes and she is old enough our surrogate will help to explain. I just wanted to know how you started the subject?

Thank you in advance

 

[gingmg]

We are two moms and have a newborn so won't be of any help but I wanted to say good luck. I am curious as well to see how others have handled the questions. I think what you have said so far is great. Honest yet age appropriate. I bet when the time comes it will be easier than you think!

 

[MommaAlexis]

We are very upfront with Lara, we just tell her she doesn't have a dad, she has two moms, Maman and Mommy. She just repeats Two moms? and I say yes, and she says okay haha.

 

[ace28]

We are two moms with two kids together and a daughter from a previous relationship. Our daughter has both of us plus her dad in her life. I've been in our daughter's life since she was very little and didn't understand the whole two moms thing. The way we went about it was by getting a lot of books about different kinds of families! They have a book called mama, mommy and me and then a corresponding book called daddy, papa and me I believe. Plus there are all kinds of books about stepfamilies and "regular" families.

Basically, we showed her how there are all kinds of families out there and when she would comment about how so-and-so has a mommy and a daddy we would say Yep, some families have a mommy and daddy. Some families have two mommies and no daddies, and some families have two daddies and no mommies. And she just grew to accept that as normal and now she'll even explain it to other kids

We'll do the same with our younger two when they are old enough. The tricky part with that is we will have the added complication of explaining how they have a sperm donor, just like you will have to explain to your girl how she has a surrogate mommy.