Santa - Believers and non-believers

[SarahBear]

My family never did Santa when I was growing up and I don't do Santa with my kids either. My daughter is in preschool this year and I'm guessing the topic of Santa is bound to come up. Whether or not Violet will tell the other kids he's not real is yet to be seen. I do wonder if she'll tell other kids and I wonder how other parents feel about another preschooler spilling the beans to their kid. How long do parents typically expect their kid to believe in Santa?

If you don't do Santa, has your kid told another kid that he's not real?

If you do Santa, has anyone ever told your kid that he's not real?

 

[gingmg]

My Jewish cousin told me there was no santa when I was 5 and I cried and cried and was pretty traumatized by that information. My parents were able to make me feel better by saying santa only comes to the houses of those that believe in him and since my cousin doesn't believe, santa doesn't go to his house, but that if I believed in him, he would still come- or something to that effect. I think most kids that believe in santa do so until 3-4rd grade.

I don't have a preschooler yet, but yes I can imagine I would be upset if my son came home and was upset by finding this out, but so is life. I think chances are parents can say something to the effect my parents did because I went back to believing for years after that.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Maybe you should talk to Violet so she doesn't "spill The Beans" I think it is unfair for the other children, I would be upset if my kid came home crying, do you really think that is fair?

 

[Natasha2605]

If you want to bring LO up not doing Santa that's fine, but as a mother I think you should explain the importance of not ruining the "magic" for the other children.

I've never met a parent who "expects" their child to believe in Santa until a certain age. Kids realise the truth at varying ages. Summer is 6.5 and doesn't really believe now.

 

[george83]

I never believed in Santa either (my older sister was too scared of him so we always knew the truth) but now I'm determined mine will believe for as long as possible so I'd be really annoyed if another child insisted to them that Santa wasn't real. I also teach year 2 children and some of them already know the truth and try to tell the others but i try to have a quiet word with them so that they don't spoil it for the others

 

[dragonfly26]

We do Santa with our kids and I would be a little upset if they found out. Maybe remind her that some kids/families do believe.

 

[JumpingIn]

We will not be 'doing' Santa either and I'm dreading all this emotion from other parents surrounding it to be honest.

 

[CaptainMummy]

I hope to keep the magic alive for as long as possible! My eldest very much believes and hopefully will do for at least another year or two! I have no idea when the typical age kids stop believing is. I keep it simple, we dont do elves or anything because my kids would be very very suspicious so I just play along with whatever they say.

I like to think that at 4, my girls would just brush off a 'Santas not real' comment and I could just do the whole 'Well how on Earth do all those presents get there!?' thing... but I would definitely tell Violet to keep quiet and not spoil it for other children, it wouldn't be fair on them.

 

[jessmke]

I came home crying from school one day because someone told me Santa wasn't real, I can't remember how old I was but I was pretty upset. My mom sat us down and told us the truth, it was right around Christmas time and I remember that Christmas being pretty sad for us. I think it is totally fine if you don't want to raise your kid to believe in Santa, but I think she should be made aware that other kids believe and it would be mean to tell them otherwise. Some may think this is a poor comparison, but I don't believe in God and won't be raising my daughter to believe, but I would not tolerate her going to school and telling religious kids that God doesn't exist.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

Age 7-9 I'd guess.
We will be doing Santa, I have such wonderful childhood memories of Father Christmas and I want the same for my kids for as long as possible.
That being said, I don't think it's such a major issue to make sure Violet doesn't 'spill the beans', the beans are the truth after all and it may get confusing to Violet to play along. Kids say all kinds of crazy things to eachother at this age so I think most parents would be able to casually pass off a little santa doubt.
If she was maliciously going round telling children then that's different, but an accidental comment I wouldn't worry about.

 

[morri]

We dont do santa either. she has heard from peppa pig about father christmas. but wevve got a book covering the solstice and it says people gives gifts. so ill see what she does.

 

[Quartz]

Between 7 and 9 as well - DD got told at Brownies (by an older Brownie) that he was not real but she has started to suspect (and had realised the tooth fairy was not real as well the month before). She was quite happy and is happy to help for her brother.

Never been a big Santa fan myself I pared it back so Santa just delivered one present and she did a letter no more than that (it was enough for me) but she enjoyed believing

 

[lau86]

We do Santa in this house and ideally no one would tell them, they would just start to suspect themselves. That's not very realistic. I'm in a Fb group with the other mums in my sons class and everyone seems big on Santa so I imagine most people are on the same page with that. I like the story that Santa comes to those who believe. Personally I think it's nice to have that bit of magic, you don't really get that as an adult!!

 

[broodymrs]

Both me and my brother were 8 when we stopped believing. My mum said she was 8 too. I loved believing and loved carrying it on afterwards for the sake of my brother and then younger counsins. TBH once no one believed a bit of the magic died for me. I'm so thrilled to do the whole thing again with my kids now. I'd be really annoyed if anyone said anything to my ds about him not being real. I'd def go with the kids that don't believe don't get visited by him - good cover up! Personally I do think you should speak to your dd about not ruining the magic/spilling the beans for others

 

[Fruitmash]

I didn't stop believing until I was 10 and my mum told me which was really hard. But more because she was stressed and just yelled out "for fs there's no such thing as Father Christmas!". If someone told DD that he wasn't real I'd say the same as above, but I'd be livid having to do so. Though I'm pregnant so that might be why the thought boils my blood somewhat

 

[Srrme]

We do Santa. I think it's fun to add a little magic to childhood. It's something they will only be able to experience when they're little, and I would be upset if someone ruined that for them.

 

[Zephram]

I was a very rational child and I figured it out for myself when I was 7. I asked my mum point blank if he was real and she answered me honestly. Lots of my friends believed for a few more years and I didn't spoil it for them, the magic is so much fun!!

If I were you I'd make clear to Violet that she shouldn't spoil it for other kids, it's such a lovely experience for kids.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I didn't believe in Father Christmas as a child but I never told any other children he wasn't real; I knew people from different religious/cultural backgrounds and I remember thinking that believing in Father Christmas was like believing in a God/belief system that I didn't subscribe to so it would never have occurred to me to say he wasn't real.
And at least as Violet is only 4 if she does tell her classmates that Santa isn't real their parents should be able to do fairly easy damage limitation and explain that some people don't believe in Father Christmas and that that's OK but Santa only comes to those who welcome him, or whatever.

 

[Bevziibubble]

We do Santa. It makes Christmas so magical. I would be really sad if someone told Holly that he wasn't really, especially at this age.

 

[Pearls18]

If my son didn't believe I'd have a quiet word just to discourage him from telling others as I remember there being kids who relished in telling others he wasn't real. Just as I'm not raising him to believe in a God, I will tell him to respect other people's beliefs, I don't want him telling others their God isn't real. It's just about teaching respect really.