Scared and confused

[_Lexi_]

I never even knew this group was on here. I'm 13 weeks pregnant and my oh has just broken up with me. I am 23 and he is 33. It was his idea for me to get pregnant as he didn't want to be an old dad, as he put it. He is now saying he is not ready to be a dad, despite having two children from his ex wife that he sees once a week. I dint understand why he's changed his mind. He has tried convincing me to have a termination saying I am being selfish by keeping it and ruining both of our lives. He gas said he wants nothing to do with it and us refusing to cone to the scan tomorrow. Some if the things he is saying are so hurtful and spiteful. He has said he can not afford to pay any more csa and doesn't want to be a part time dad a second time round. He us being so cruel. I just don't understand why he's saying these things. I'm so scared about doing this on my own, but I can't have a termination. I don't think it makes me selfish. Does it? x

 

[Mally01]

I am in the same position as you right now, my boyfriend has left me because I am pregnant and he does not want this child,it is heartbreaking when this happens especially as these men were people we trusted and loved. If the tables were turned, I would not do that to anyone,ever. It's an awful thing to do to a pregnant woman, just disgusting really. It's all good saying they don't want the kid and now, in your case he has changed his mind but if they were that plum scared about having kids they should have been strict about contraception, works both ways. In your case, your guy is being utterly selfish, I can't believe he persuaded you to get pregnant and then has changed his mind! what an a-hole! it's not like you got a dress he liked and now he wants you to take it back to the shop to exhange it because he doesn't like the colour!, this is a human life that he wants you to get rid of. I am not sure what to say here, people are telling me that I must give my guy time and he will come around eventually, he just panicked. This does not bode well for the future anyway being with someone like that. (e.g will he bail on you every time there is a crisis in your life...probably) In your case I'm not sure that it is healthy for you to even let this guy back in, if he comes back. And no, you are not selfish, neither of us are, far from it. We have been treated like crap at a time when we should be treated like gold.

 

[keyring86]

You are not the problem. He is the problem. He not worthy of you or the child, in my opinion. You are not obligated to terminate a life because he does not want to be responsible. You are a mother now, and instinctively our children comes first to us. Since he can't honor and respect that then screw him! I know it's hard but you have to forget about him for now and focus on your child. Maybe he will come around later, maybe he won't. But if you prepare yourself now to be a single parent then you won't have the disappointment of expecting him to come around in the future.

 

[emlubu]

its not your fault at all and no your not being selfish a termination is a horrible expirence if its nt your wish ive been there done that for an ex...regrete is the word after!!! but u can do it alone...and if he cant afford anymore csa then he should of not suggested it and then left.

men make me sooooo angry!!!

xx

 

[amotherslove]

you have no obligation to terminate, my FOB said the saaame thing. and he also is claiming he "can't afford" this baby. well guess what sweetie? youre 30 with a solid steady military job in a fancy ass house, i'm a 21 year old student living in a little apartment with a roommate that is going to be moving out. and i can't even afford it on my own.. i don't know what to do.. and i don't know what you're supposed to do.. but i wish you the best and i know we will both make it. do not terminate if you do not wish to.