Scared ill be left out :(

[Zfbaby]

I'm terrified of my planned c-section on the 15th and keep hoping I'll go into labour naturally and be able to do it on my own because I'm so worried about the surgery and recovery. I'm worried about the pain of course but my main fear is being unable to do anything for my baby and missing out on everything I would have had if I had a natural birth. I want to be the first to hold my son and don't want him taken from me whilst I get stitched up
I hate the idea that i might only be able to hold him but may not be able to feed him, change him etc. I'm scared that if I have to let others do it all he won't need me and he won't feel like mine. More like I'm
Holding a friends baby that i have to give back. Iykwim
Anyone else worried about this?

 

[LDC]

I'm terrified of my planned c-section on the 15th and keep hoping I'll go into labour naturally and be able to do it on my own because I'm so worried about the surgery and recovery. I'm worried about the pain of course but my main fear is being unable to do anything for my baby and missing out on everything I would have had if I had a natural birth. I want to be the first to hold my son and don't want him taken from me whilst I get stitched up
I hate the idea that i might only be able to hold him but may not be able to feed him, change him etc. I'm scared that if I have to let others do it all he won't need me and he won't feel like mine. More like I'm
Holding a friends baby that i have to give back. Iykwim
Anyone else worried about this?

Hey,

Please don't be worried, you WILL be able to care for your son. You'll be able to change nappies, breast feed or bottle feed, whichever you choose, change him and cuddle him.

My baby was a big ol' baby (10lb+) and I could do all of these things. The only thing I struggled with was lifting her sometimes, but I could do it. They say just don't lift anyone heavier than your baby, just make sure in the hospital your bag with everything you need is right next to you before visitors leave - mine was on the floor and this is what I struggled with, I had to get the nurse to pass it up to me.

The recovery from a section takes time, but I had no issues with what you're worried about, so please don't fret. Getting up and down was difficult for a while, but it was a great excuse just to be on the sofa or in bed with LO and have lots of cuddles!

I strongly recommend getting up and moving when you can, I was up and about (slowly) within 12 hours and my recovery was very good.

My baby was passed to my partner rather than me, because of my position on the bed, however other ladies on here did hold their baby right away so talk to the drs about it when you go in. If you don't ask you don't get as they say mine was an emcs and I was so tired that it probably wouldn't have been safe for me to hold LO anyway.

She did get taken away to be checked, but for about two minutes. I was shown her and then they checked her and brought her back and weighed/measured her in front of me. Talk to the hospital staff about this, it might not be standard for them to do this in your hospital.

You'll be fine, I promise

X

 

[Zfbaby]

Thank you.
My baby is also predicted to be large, between 10-11lbs, as I'm small this is one of the reasons for my c-section.
Did you find you needed help to look after yourself after like bathing getting up and down stairs etc? I hate the fact I won't be able to run to him as soon as he needs me.
Also how long after your section would you say you could have coped completely on your own? My husband works nights and will have to go back to work a week after lo is here. I do have my mil staying but would rather not have to have her get up in the night to lift baby for me.

 

[MrsHippo]

You might find the first few days a little difficult so let your husband help you. Don't force yourself to do anything that might cause discomfort. But don't be worried that you'll be unable to do anything.

I'll tell you my story - but bare in mind everyone is different!!!

I had an emergency section as my LO was undiagnosed breech. I had my surgery around midnight, Beau was born at 00:10. She had pooped inside as she was distressed so she was taken to be cleaned up before the midwife showed her to me, my partner got to see her though. That only lasted a minute or two...but hearing her cry was amazing. She was handed to my parter as I wouldn't have been able to hold her in the position I was in but as soon as I was stitched and sat up she was given to me. We got to breastfeed straight away too. Once on the ward my partner got told he had to leave around 2:30 as it was out of visiting times, that was the hardest thing for me. He was so upset he had to leave, it was heartbreaking. I really wish they'd change that at my hospital! Not all hospitals do that though, depends on what time the surgery is too I guess. But during that night the midwives had to do everything as I physically couldn't move due to being numb. But they'd pass her to me whenever I wanted, as soon as she'd start to cry I'd ring the bell and they'd pass her over. So I never had any problems there.
I didn't sleep a wink all night though.
Around lunch time I asked to attempt to get up and have a shower (they encourage you to get up within 12 hours, thereabouts) so I had my catheter out and hobbled to the shower. Yes it was painful but I managed - make sure you take all pain relief they offer!! I also nearly fainted in the shower...OH stayed with me though and he helped.
That night I was left to do everything myself. OH was sent home around 8pm and couldn't come back until 10am. That night was the hardest. I really struggled to move around, I was fine once I was up walking, it was getting in and out of bed that was hard.
Eventually we were allowed home though, my partner looked after Beau by himself that first night. I managed to catch up on sleep (I didn't sleep for a total of 3 days almost, I'm surprised I coped lol).
The first few days were a slight struggle but gradually I could do more and more. I am 5 weeks post op now and it still hurts. I am able to do things as I could before, just need to take it easy sometimes. I think I was up and running properly by a week and a half.
You should be fine once your husband is back at work but if you need help you have to tell him. You will be grateful for you MIL's help though. You can look after your baby and she can do other things like housework and popping to the shop for you.

 

[Zfbaby]

Thank you.
My mil is great and I know she'll do the housework, cooking etc no probs I just don't want to have to wake her every few hours just to lift baby during the night. That seems like pushing it I'm Hopi g by the time I get out of hospital and dh is back at work I'll be able to lift him myself. I've asked him to take an extra week and he's going to see what he can arrange.

Thanks for the info about the shower too, I've packed dh some swimming shorts and flip flops in his bag just in case I do think I need help in the shower. My hair is really long and can take ages to wash so having help so it's faster is a good point.
I'm hoping that because it's a planned section I will still my skin to skin as that's really important to me and I would like to delay clamping so I'm going to speak to the hospital before the day.
Im just guessing but I presume all of the pain meds are safe for baby when bfing? They wouldn't give you things that would affect that would they?!

 

[x Michelle x]

Firstly, let the doctors and midwives know you want skin to skin, they will always try their best to accommodate your wishes.
However, after my section, OH held him as i was very shaky and thought i'd drop him lol!
You will need a hand to get him from his cot to you, but thats what the midwives are for.
As for running to LO at home, just park yourself on the sofa with your moses basket right beside you. You will both spend a lot of time that first few weeks snuggling and resting. After a week you will be fine to get him up yourself, just take it slowly and don't use your stomach muscles. Take everything slowly such as stairs and don't think about hoovering. Go for a gentle walk and just enjoy your baby and give yourself time to heal.
I did notice that if i overdid things, i would bleed (from downstairs) more so be aware of things like that.
I had my partner off for 2 weeks, then my MIL stayed a week, then my mum but i also had a 1 year old. After my first daughter was born, emcs, i was fine on my own after 2 weeks

 

[confused87com]

i had a planned c section, i got to have the drapes dropped and see her arrive, she was placed straight on me with a towel over us, so skin to skin then she got cleaned and dh dressed her. ( i had a pph so ended up in hdu) but as soon as i was there i got to bfeed her. the cot was the other side of the room and within a couple of hours i was walking over to her. The midwives were v short staffed so i got her during the night, it wasnt rele painful, i just got on with it. I didn t need more morphine post surgery. The key is definately to get up asap and keep moving ( but dont overdo it) i had dh home for 2 weeks but i dealt with the baby and him the toddler! after 1 week i was lifting my toddler and just a little sore. Having a section doesnt mean you wont be able to do anything you would after a natural, just take any help on offer so you get more time to cuddle baby

 

[MrsHippo]

They will only give you pain relief that is safe, I stopped bf after two days so was able to take something different. You have to wait at least 12 hours from taking 'unsafe' tablets to when you bf (I re-started again after a few days).

Oh I forgot about the shaking, I was very shaky during and after the surgery. Apparently its the spinal block that does it to you. I was still able to hold Beau once I was in recovery though.

I wouldn't worry about your hair either, I also have long hair but I didn't wash it for about 4/5 days (eww, I know) but instead used dry shampoo and just kept it up. My hair really was the least of my worries.

I wish you all the best but you will be fine!! The thought of everything is much worse than it actually is xx

 

[19Mommy]

My daughter was a big'n too, I know how you feel but even though I wasnt able to hold her till after the stitches I felt like she was mine as soon as I got her and she looked into my eyes I knew she knew I was her mom. Dont be worried, trust your motherly instincts!!

 

[purplelou]

my LO was big too (11lbs 3) and I did all the normal stuff with her after c section. her daddy held whilst I got stitched but they were both beside me for that. then I got my cuddles in redcovery and managed to BF. I was able to lift her and do everything else as soon as my spinal block wore off - it took a few hours cos I had to have a deep block as my epidural failed. I think I recovered really fast and feeling pretty good! I managed to get in and out the shower/bath by myself and we went for a gentle stroll on day 5 i think also I am 41 so not a spring chicken. you will be fine

 

[Mrs Bee]

I had an emcs but I was coping with lifting Alice by the 4th day.... In hospital it was impossible to lift her from the bed out of the crib, my hubby did that and changed the nappies while I was in hospital...

I really enjoyed my birth experience although it was scary... As soon as she was out my hubby got to cut the left over cord(which I thought we would miss out on) and after that she was wrapped up and placed on my chest to cuddle her while I got stitched up...as soon as I was ready to be wheeled out they started skin to skin under my gown( my mum freaked out because she didnt see baby come out with us lol) and as soon as we were in recovery the midwifes helped us breastfeed.... All the post op obs were worked around our breast feeding I was very impressed.... Also our midwives took photos and made it the happiest day of our lives.... After my quick recovery I'm actually excited for another section...but I want a 5 yr gap between our little ones