Scared of my reaction.

[Cetarari]

I'm not sure if this belongs here or not, but I can't think where else to post it. We lost our daughter in January, she was our first child and we got to spend 30 minutes with her before she passed. I fell unexpectedly pregnant in April ( after 5 years ttc and IVF our chances of natural conception were minuscule) and although I am overjoyed I'm also very scared of my reaction when we have our gender scan tomorrow.

I'm afraid of our Sprout being a girl, I know it's irrational and truthfully as long as he or she is healthy I shouldn't care, but I know if Sprout is a boy I'll rest a little easier. I guess I think I'll cope better with a boy after losing our Emmy. Please tell me I'm being daft and that all this worry will be for nothing, that I'll cope okay if our Sprout is a girl. I have no preference when I think about it rationally, but I feel guilty for having another daughter when Emmy isn't with us (if Sprout is a girl).

 

[BeccaxBump]

I think from reading this you have every right to be worried or scared. I would be too. You are probably thinking, "oh, if it's a girl, it will happen again", but it won't lovely.

Try to stay calm and keep your head up.
xoxox

 

[Mummy2B21]

I understand I would feel the same hun I think its a natural feeling and its not nessasarily a bad feeling it shows your scared another girl would replace Emmy which is natural as you would never want that to happen it's understandable but I feel if it is a girl and when she is born that feeling will ease and you may evan take comfort from new baby girl as similaritys show just remember in your mind Emmy as her own and Emmy would be happy to see her mummy and daddy happy with her sister, if it is a girl maybe taking one or two special days a year to remember Emmy would also help so you don't feel that replaced fteeling and as baby grows up it would be a lovely way for them to know and remember there sister xxx

 

[LoraLoo]

I actually felt the other way, i was scared of having a boy and never getting the chance to have another girl. I think its all 'normal' when it comes to loss sadly Hope your scan goes well, let us know xx

 

[MalcolmsMiss]

Have you ever considered not finding out the gender until birth? I lost a girl in January also, but for me i felt like i HAD to have a girl to replace what i had lost. Not replace her, but just the ideas of raising my daughter, doing the whole pink thing, etc.
When i did fall pregnant again, i was so worried about how i would react at the gender scan. Would i be angry upset sad? So instead we decided to skip the whole gender thing and stay team yellow. I love it so much, because i dont have any pressure for how i must feel and react. I bond with my baby and thats all i think about.

I know its a different situation to yours, but maybe if you just didnt know, you wont have to think about it, and be worried. Its just a suggestion, because it really has helped me Goodluck tomorrow x

 

[Cetarari]

Thank you all for your replies. We were supposed to be team yellow ( not finding out ) but it didn't stop me worrying so we've decided to find out. If Sprout is a girl, I'll worry, but I know if we didn't find out I'd worry anyway. DH seems to think that after the initial worry (he's convinced we're cooking up another daughter) I'll have time to come to terms before Sprout gets here. I'm sure he's right since taking home a baby of either sex is a blessing. We have decided not to tell family etc. though (only my step sister knows we're expecting at the moment anyway!). I want to see how I am before dealing with other people. DH would love another girl (or a boy for that matter), it helps he's so positive, one of us has to be. Anyway, it's 5.36 in the morning and I've been awake since 4, scan is at 11.15, not long to go.

 

[LoraLoo]

I understand the need to know hun, i needed to be prepared too. How did you get on?

 

[Cetarari]

Well, my husband is psychic and we're on team pink again. I'm actually not too bad at the moment, it helps we saw our sproutette dancing away on the scan. DH is overjoyed and we got a decent scan picture since our dating scan pic was at 9wk 6. We got to count her fingers and toes and she wasn't shy when it came to finding the gender.

The scan was very different to our gender scan with Emmy, Emmy would not uncross her legs and wouldn't give us a good profile shot either. Sproutette is a little poser and obliged for every shot. I'm glad we went, that the scan was such a different experience has helped a lot. This baby is absolutely her own person and that makes me a lot less worried.

 

[LoraLoo]

So pleased everything is ok with baby, congratulations of your 2nd pink bundle xx