Scared of what to expect

[hope1980]

Hi everyone, Im very new to all this but wanted to try and see if anyone can offer some advice or comfort.
I had a scan yest and was told that my baby of 15 weeks had no heartbeat, obviously i am absolutely devastated and have been told by hosp to go back for repeat scan etc to reconfirm? I am terrified of what will happen next, has anyone lost a baby at this stage? do i have to give birth to baby etc etc?? anyone that can answer any of concerns i would be really grateful to 9 apologies if i not making much sense, feel a bit numb at the min)

 

[natasja32]

Hi sweetheart....im so sorry you have to go through this. I dont know if i can be much help. I had a mc at 6.5 weeks,so for me that was just like a heavy AF. And then i had a very late loss at 36.4 weeks,a little boy,who i had to give birth to. Im sure there are some of the other lovely ladies here that could prob give you better answers. Sorry i wasnt much help sweetie. Thinking of you.

 

[jen35]

Hi Hope, i'm so sorry you are going through this, it is a devastating thing to hear and have to deal with. It happened to me at 10 weeks and at the time I thought I would die of sadness. Hopefully your sonographer has given you some advice as to what next, if not get in touch with your doctor. I found it hard to accept and my GP was really understanding sending me off for blood tests for beta counts.

I'm thinking of you hun and really hope they've just made a mistake. Let us know how you are doing, you will get plenty of support here, wish I could make it better for you.

 

[Jessa]

Welcome to B&B. I'm so sorry about your loss. I, too, experienced a late miscarriage. I found out in February that we had lost our baby at 17 weeks. In my experience, I didn't have to give "birth" to a baby in the traditional sense like I think you're thinking. Instead, I was given a tablet to induce a natural miscarriage. I bled very heavily and was in pain overnight, passing our baby (which was a little longer than the palm of my hand). I found out the next day that since I was farther along (my doctor apparently should not have suggested using the tablets), that I would need a D&C to remove retained products (my uterus still had some stuff in there that shouldn't have been). After that, I was fine....physically.

There's definitely a grieving process that you go through. Here I am, more than three months since, and I've just recently started seeing a counsellor to help me work through my grief and see things in a more positive light. I'm finding that it is very helpful for me.

Please make sure that you write down any questions you have for the doctor so that when you go tomorrow you don't forget anything. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. This site is a great place for support. Thinking of you...

 

[Csunshine013]

I am so sorry for your loss dear. I know exactly what your going through. I went in for my normal scan @ 15w+5d and they didn't find a heartbeat. I went the following day for a an additional scan and an amnio to see if they could determine the reason. I was scheduled to be induced. Dr put a tablet in my cervix to induce a miscarraige. My little girl was born at 6:10am the following morning. She was 6 inches long wieghed 1/2 oz and was 1 1/2 centimeters around both her head and her chest. All was there, ears fingers, toes nose mouth and even her little private parts. It didn't hurt, it was uncomfortable as there were contractions to release my placenta, in the end I had to have a d & c to get it out. They do have another procedure in which the suck the baby out, but I opted for the other.

I hope this helped and I hope they just missed the hb.

 

[hope1980]

Im so scared if my baby has died i dont want a dc but am so scared of having to deliver him/her and also what to expect if I do, dont think Im strong enough to cope emotionally, I am so sorry for all your losses and thankyou for ur kind words and support, thinking of you all

 

[Csunshine013]

hope1980 do you have a good support system?

I have a wonderful dh and my friends were so great. I will also tell you that this site gave me a bunch of stregnth too. PM me if you have any questions that you want answered and not in view of others.

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I'm really really sorry your going through this. I'm in a somewhat similar situation, however my baby is on the brink of life at this moment.

This is what they've told me. I'm in Canada, so I'm not sure where you are, as the rules are all different in every area. Up until 20 weeks they can do a D&C or a D&E similar but different procedures where they go in and take baby out. After 20 weeks they induce you and you must deliver baby. I was told by my dr the sooner the better because the baby will be smaller, the uterus will be smaller and the recovery (physical) will be easier.

I was also told, that if the babies heart stopped between now and my next test that I could begin to miscarry naturally. Which means bleeding, cramping etc. If that starts to happen they want me to go to the hospital to be monitored because I'm so far along (14 weeks now). I asked if I could stay home to keep it private, but they said that because baby is bigger there could be more complications and they want to watch you.

Unfortunately, it's a basic procedure that is done often. It's safe and you generally quickly get through it, physically, that is.

Make sure to ask a lot of questions. Ask what all your options are. Ask what the best option is. They can't force you to do anything. Different drs like to do different procedures. The more information you have will make you feel like you are making the best informed decision that you can. Ask how long it will take, what it will feel like, what the after effects will be. For me, being prepared helps to know what I'm up against. You sound like your worried because everything is so up in the air and that's totally understandable.

My heart goes out to you and to everyone.

 

[babytots]

oh hunni i am so sorry you are going through this . at 15 weeks i'm not sure what they will do hunni. i've had both procedures a erpc (similar to a d+c) at 8 weeks and had to be induced at 19 weeks as my baby had no heartbeat. both are emotionally hard. giving birth to jessica was the hardest day of my life but i got through it and was glad i was able to meet my little girl and cuddle her with a d+c you wont be able to.

anyways i wont go on too much but if you want any more info feel free to pm me and keep posting on here as the ladies are such a fab support through such a terrible time. x

 

[borntobeamum]

Im sorry to read this.

Im not sure where you live and I think that is alot to do with what you can expect, I was around 18 weeks, and delivered my angel,w hich I am glad I did.

There may be options for you, but your Doc will keep you right, as will the Midwifes. In some cases you wont get an option and be told you need to deliver, apparently it is safer for you if you are looking to TTC again, if you do need to deliver it will be hard, but they give you as much drugs and medication as you need / want, and take it, dont feel like you need to be brave.

Sending you lots of hugs...xxxxxxx

 

[hope1980]

Thankyou everyone, was supposed to be going back to hospital today but apt was cancelled due to lack of staff or something!!!!! I live in bath not far from bristol (england) i have spoken to my gp who suggested against a d&c , i just dont seem to be getting support or answers from anyone at the minute ( with exception of u all on here) at 15 weeks will my baby look like a baby?? can i hold him/her? so many things going round in my mind

 

[Csunshine013]

My little girl looked like a mini baby. Her head was a littl big, but everything was there. We even named her. The baby will be there, not just some blob thing. I would recomend the induction and delivery. If you pass everything on your own your body will heal faster. Make sure you get a second scan before they do anything! Just to verify everything. My hearts with you

 

[hayley x]

Awwwww Im so sorry. Although I have lost my baby boy I still cant imagine the pain you are going through!! Thinking of you xxxx

 

[roadrunner]

I am so very sorry for all that you are going through. I hate it for you. If you are able to deliver the baby, you will see a baby. You should be able to hold him or her. For some people this can be a good thing...I believe it was for me. Wishing you peace as you walk this walk...