scared to bring preemie home :(

[chelseav1213]

Just had a 34 & 6 seeker who is in the NICU to get his feeding under control.. hes doing well in all other aspects except hes a little jaundiced.I cant wait forhim to come home but I am so scared.. I don't know how to handle myself because all I do is panic and worry hes not OK.. I feel so guilty when I leave the NICU as I only get to spend a few hours a day with him I'm so scared to feed him because I'm worried hell stop breathing.. what can I do to calm down!?!

 

[W22KLB]

Oh sweetie, totally know how you feel. I had my baby on 18 September at 35+6 she spent a week in Neonatal ward for low blood sugar, low temperature and jaundice.

We finally managed to take her home a week later, i remember wishing i could take all the monitors with me to monitor her as the hospital did.

I just want to say after the first couple of days it does get easier and you will be OK, i was and if i can anyone can. I was a blubbering mess when she was in hospital leaving her there and then worrying about stupid things or what could or might happen when i took her home but you need to get these thoughts out of your head, i have learnt babies are tougher than you think.

You will be fine xx

 

[chelseav1213]

Thank u its very reassuring knowing that others were just as worreid and survived! glad u got ur LO home with you!!

 

[meant2bamummy]

I think everyone worries to a certain degree. My girls were in the NICU for a month before they came home. Luckily for us, our hospital had a great transition space where you are essentially "on your own" in your own room and are able to take care of your baby with minimal interference from nurses. I think they popped in twice. Definitely a confidence booster. One of my girls came home under 5 lbs and the other was just over. That scared me. But I figured they wouldn't send them home if they didn't think they (and we) were ready. You'll be just fine!! You're the momma!

 

[chelseav1213]

Oh wow tiny! My boy was 7 lbs 1 oz when he was born and I couldn't imagine him being any smaller! He feels tiny to me and hes the biggest one in the NICU the nurses at the NICU hes at really try to let us do everything on our own and give us privacy while we are there which is really nice

 

[melissa84]

I know exactly how you feel hon! My baby was born 35-0 and really tiny at 4 lbs 11 oz and I was so scared and nervous those first few weeks. Honestly I cried myself to sleep that first night because I was terrified of something bad happening. We put her in a preemie nightgown which was too big so I had to fold up the sleeves and tie the bottom of the gown closed so she wouldn't slip down into it which was a fear of mine. What made me feel better was to pray. If you are religious pray to God asking Him to protect your baby have faith He will! Also it may help to buy a SIDS monitor just to give you some piece of mind that your little guy really is ok. It's a scary time I know but things will get better!

 

[chelseav1213]

I'm scared that a SIDs monitor would freak me out more with false alarms! I do pray everyday that he ail be okay when he gets home & that hell stay well in the hospital and come home soon! Ive cried plenty of times just thinking about the night he comes home! My boy is big too I couldn't imagine such a tiny baby!!

 

[Crayz]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, but I think it's totally normal. My LO spent 5 weeks in the NICU and came home at only 4 lbs.

I was PETRIFIED to not be able to see those monitors all the time. Once you get home, you forget all about that panic, and you panic over other things because you're a new parent, and of a preemie no less!

Good luck! You're going to be just fine!!! And Congrats on your new LO!

 

[dizz]

I think the "shit, where's the instruction manual" feeling's normal anyway - and it's heightened with a preemie. I found our GP to be very very good in understanding that I was higher-highly-strung than their typical new mum, and they were very obliging in terms of putting me in for phonecalls to query stupid stuff and appointments when neeeded.

With the monitor thing - I still (at 6 months - really should stop) have a terrible habit of sleeping with my arm dangling to touch her chest and check she's breathing - helps that she's got a huuuuge repertoire of cute snuffly noises that she goes on with all night while asleep!

 

[Crayz]

Dizz-I do that too and wake her up! I don't even feel bad for waking her up either (isn't that terrible?). I don't like to put my hand on her chest because of her heart issues (I'm afraid it will hurt her or restrict her breathing-dumb, I know), so I will actually wake her up by stroking her cheeks until she jolts. Then I know she's breathing.

That will probably never go away. My niece is 3 and my nephew is 5 and my sister still checks on them at night all the time.

 

[dizz]

It's one of those times you find yourself a bit blessed if you've got a child who snores!