Scared to come in here....

[BurtonBaby]

As some of you girls may know from my post in first tri, my doctor has told me I've lost our baby. I am so confused.. and hurt.. and not dealing with this in the right ways.. I've given myself some false hope, and even tho I know its not healthy to think, I just have a couple of questions for you ladies...
I went in for a very early ultrasound a week ago last Thursday. It was too early to really see anything but the beginning of the yolk sac. I had a pap, and an internal scan, both were so uncomfortable that I was on the verge of tears. Thursday night, I had a gush of blood, and one tiny little clot.. Then after I've had on and off very very light spotting. From that Friday to Monday my hormone levels rose from 13,000 all the way up to 25,000. I thought we were in the clear. Then I went back for a follow up ultrasound this past Thursday, and I could see the yolk sac more clearly, but there was still no fetus... so my doctor told me that the baby and pregnancy had stopped progressing at 5+3, and I had lost the baby. She said I'd have bad cramping and horrible bleeding, and gave me the option to go through this naturally. I wanted to.. However, I have had no cramping, and even less spotting. My morning sickness has gotten worse, my breasts are still tender, and I've had extremely vivid dreams, (although not relating to pregnancy at all... but sexual ones..) I took a pregnancy test at like midnight last night (couldn't sleep) and the test line was darker than the control line. It was darker than any line I've gotten, which makes me think my hormone levels are still rising.. I'm going to do more bloods tomorrow, and again this week to check my levels.. But I just feel like maybe my doctor was wrong. Maybe it was too early to tell still? To see much.. I wouldn't think a doctor would say until they were certain, but this doctor also told me I needed a c-section since my daughter would be well over 10lbs, and she was 8lb10. Am I holding onto stupid false hope, and need to just mourn this and try to move on? Or are my hopes and concerns valid? Sorry for going on so long, I guess I'm just needing closure and I dont feel closure yet.. Maybe if I find out my hCG levels are decreasing, or I actually started bleeding. I'm just so confused..

Thanks girls, and I'm so sorry for everyone experiencing a loss. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through..

 

[Meli]

i'm sorry you're going through this... the same thing happened to me last June. The doctor said I had a "blighted ovum", which means the sac develops, but not the fetus. I was 8 weeks at the time... I choose to do a D&C because I was having very bad morning sickness and the doctor told me it could take weeks for my body to miscarry on its own. If you are having doubts, maybe you can ask for another ultrasound in a week or two... or try a different doctor. HUGS!

 

[JASMAK]

I think it could be possible for it to have been too early. I hope another u/s will confirm this. Keep us updated. Thinking of you.

 

[Orange lady]

Really sorry you're going through this.
It is possible however, for your body to continue feeling and acting pregnant, even if you have miscarried or your baby has died. I had a missed miscarriage in December, my baby had died at 8 weeks and my scan was at 11-12 weeks. The baby had stopped growing but the sac was growing and I still felt pregnant.
I too had those unsure feelings when I had my 2 scans, how can they be sure? Perhaps they just missed the heartbeat. But there are other clues that they can see via the ultrasound, to do with your ovaries etc that show signs of miscarriage. I'm pretty confident that they wouldn't tell you for sure unless they were really sure.
By all means, give it another week and get a second opinion for your own peace of mind.
Take good care
x

 

[MrsJD]

Sorry to hear about your stress BurtonBaby!

To be honest I think it might be to early. I've recently went through a misscarriage and my levels weren't increasing the way they should have, there was no yolk sac either. Whereas my sister has been bleeding but they found the yolk sac so aren't concerned and have told her to take it easy.

When are you back at the hospital?

XX

 

[colsy]

I don't have any answers, but I just wanted to give you a and say I hope that everything works out for you

 

[Lyns]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a missed miscarriage in December, and should have been 10 weeks but the baby stopped developing about 4 weeks previously. My levels had continued to rise, the sac had continued to grow and everything about my body was still pregnant, apart from my baby. I only found out at a routine scan that my baby had died. I never had a single spot of blood and had to have an ERPC to end the pregnancy.

Its very hard but I think your best course of action is probably to accept its gone, and then anything else is a bonus. There are stories of girls being told there was no fetal pole and they'd lost their baby, but they then went onto a successful pregnancy, but these are very rare, and usually there is some grey area.

Always ask you doctors for the rationale behind any decisions, and cetainly in the UK they must always get a second sonograpther to confirm a pregnancy has miscarried before they can take any further actions.

I hope you come to terms with this all very soon and am sure things will be very different next time. I was very glad that my ERPC was practically immediate, as I think being 'inbetween' would have been very hard indeed.

 

[Widger]

I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a missed miscarriage two weeks ago and unfortunately I still have a bfp and only just stopped having tender boobs etc. My body doesn't actually have anything inside it anymore (had an erpc so I'm hoping not) but it thinks it does so I still have pregnancy symptoms and that is why I have bfp still (although symptoms and bfp much fainter now).

If you want piece of mind then wait a week to see if any change. I would be prepared though for the worst. Sorry. Peiople on here will give you lots of support as we've all had horrible experiences too.

 

[scrubgrub]

I would agree with the others, there are definitely grey areas, but don't let your body give you that hope, as I was on my way to 4 weeks past my fetal demise and my body just wasn't really realizing it... I guess I was getting a little less hungry, but otherwise, our stupid hormones keep plugging along.

I do hope however that you get surprised with good news, until then and I am sorry for your loss.

 

[princess_bump]

i'm so sorry honey, i have no answers but just wanted to say i am thinking of you so much x x x x

 

[miel]

 

[Chris77]

Hun, I don't have any answers but wanted to let you know that I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[jacky24]

 

[BurtonBaby]

Thank you all so much for your support ladies.. These have been the hardest couple of weeks of my life. I'm even more confused than ever now.. Like I said before, I've still been having some pregnancy symptoms, and have overall been unsure about whats going on.. I thought I was going crazy until my doctor called me today. I had bloods taken Tuesday and today. She had gotten my results from the Tuesday draw. She was asking me all about the symptoms I've been having, and if I had bled anymore.. After telling her everything that has been going on, she told me that on Tuesday my hCG levels were at 57,000. She said that she has no idea whats going on with me, cause she has never had this happen before. She said she was positive I was miscarrying, without a doubt. But now she wants me to come in for another ultrasound tomorrow. She said not to get my hopes up, but that is like impossible. I'm so scared, yet excited. I dont know what to expect.. My hormone levels doubled +7000 in a week, but I thought they were supposed to every couple of days? But they are still going up drastically. I dunno what to think at this point, I'm just going to try to stay calm until tomorrow. This has just been such a rollercoaster.. I will update you ladies when I know something. Thanks again.

 

[JASMAK]

Keep us updated, and I will be thinking of you.

 

[BurtonBaby]

Holy freakin moly. I'm still pregnant ladies.. I had my ultrasound today and our little bean was there!!! Measuring 6+5. We saw the heartbeat, it measured at 150bpm! It was so amazing! My doctor said that when we came in before, it was too early to see.. And getting my positive pregnancy test on Dec. 31st was amazing because it was right around when we actually conceived. (Not to mention conceiving around CD45.) So I dont know how to explain what happened, or whats going on, but all I know is that our little bean is there. I'm over the moon, and can not thank you ladies enough for all of your support. I'm now unsure about my doc tho, because had we gone ahead and done the d&c, we would have aborted a viable pregnancy...

 

[miel]

that is fantastic news!!!!

i am so happy for you guys !!!

 

[Doodles]

Wow that is wonderful news, congratulations

 

[BlackBerry25]

What a miracle!
How amazing!! I am sooo sooo sooooooo happy for you
Wowww!!

 

[luckyme225]

Oh hun, such great news!!