scared to tell them!

[MACblondiee]

im 15years old and 6 weeks pregnant, living in the UK
my boyfriend is 16 and we were using condoms but obviously it went rong.
my parents have always said that if i was pregnant at this age they would kill me and my boyfriend, my dad has said he would get the boy 'jailed'.

i dont want to go through with abortion, but i dont know if im going to regret teling my parents.
my FOB/ boyfriend is saying if my parents wont jail him then he wants to keep the baby.

i really dont know what to do....

advice on what to do and what to possibly tell them??

and if anyone will say how they told their parents and what happened will help
thank you! xx

 

[divershona]

hey, congrats on your pregnancy

best advice i can give u is speak to them sooner rather than later, they might not appreciate the fact that you're pregnant for a while but they will eventually come round, most parents do even though it might not seem like it!

i was too scared to tell my dad to his face so i sent him a text telling him and asking him not to be mad at me but to talk to me, i told him my plans for the baby and the fact that i wanted to stay in college. He said if id told him face to face it probably would have been hard not to flip out, (which he didnt). He has since said that he's glad i told him really soon after i found out and that i still want to finish my college education etc. My mum however went completly mental, my dad told her knowing what she is like, my mum didnt speak to me for about a week but eventually she calmed down and we now get on better than we ever did before, i think more than anything its theie shock and reactions to the fact that their daughter is pregnant that we all worry about, when it comes down to it most parents are okay, might take a while for them to get used to the idea but should be ok.

Good Luck x Private message me if u ever need to talk x

 

[MACblondiee]

thank.you
i think im more scared of whats going to happen to my FOB/ boyfriend.
i couldnt do this with out him. (obviously lol)
in my last year of school so its goin to be hard, but i still hope to go to college/uni just going to haave to work a little harder x
how old were you? x

 

[WaitingForYou]

A lot of parents don't take it well when they find out their teenage daughters are pregnant but they often come round. The initial shock obviously is hard for them to deal with. I was 18 when I fell pregnant and gave birth. Me and Oh asked my mum and dad so we could sit down to talk to them, I just started crying, I didn't want them to be disappointed. My mum knew just from the sitting them down and me crying what was going on and walked off telling me ' this isn't an episode of eastenders '. She had my sister at 17 so cant be hypocritical, but I can see why she was. She just cared and didn't want me to become a single mum bringing up a baby, like she did all those years ago. I got kicked out and we didn't talk until LO was born, and now we have the best mother daughter relationship. We never used to speak before, always argued and generally never got on.

Your parents care, they will make threats because of this. Now obviously I don't know your parents but I doubt if you wanted to bring up the baby with OH they would pack him off to jail. They need to do whats best for you. You do need to sit down and talk to them sooner rather than later though, there are a lot of things you need to go over with them too. If you cant do it face to face sometimes its easier to write a note or send a text?

Congratulations and I hope it goes well. We are all here for oyu, we've been in the same boat. Its your time to sail now

 

[MACblondiee]

aww, emotions are on soar right now, so the last bit really made me tearful.
all i need to do now is think of when to tell them, they are both at work right now.
and waiting for OH to wake up so he can come round and talk about it.
thank you and would apprciate more posts on this.. still very scared and morning sickness dosent help right now lol xx

 

[LoisP]

Maybe you should write a letter. It's easier to say everything you want to say without getting interupted. Even if you give it to them and actually stay right in front of them as they read it, it might be easier then coming out and saying it x
Try gingernut biscuits for morning sickness. They didn't work for me, but i hear they work for alot of other mums to be with morning sickness

 

[WaitingForYou]

I never had morning sickness but got nausea. Salt and vinegar crisps helped me a lot.

Try and find a time where they aren't rushed off their feet making dinner or sorting out younger siblings or whatever they do. Have you had the pregnancy confirmed by GP? I had to be absolutely sure to tell my parents. I didn't want to just go by a test, didn't feel right.

 

[FayDanielle]

Hey hun, welcome to BnB and congrats on your pregnancy
Im Fay, 19 and expecting a little girl in october.

First off, I totally understand how your feeling, being scared telling your parents, but I suppose its hard to do wether your 15, 25 or 35!!!
I told my parents when I was 16 weeks!! By text. I totally regret not telling them face to face and they were a little bit dissapointed I told them by text and so late on. But I was so surprised at how the reacted, they took to it really well, and like alot of the other girls, my bond with my Mum has increased so much!! And shes SO excited about having another grandaughter!

I would reccomend talking to them sooner rather than later too, you may be very shocked about their reaction.
I cant see your father reporting your OH, if they see your adamant about bringing this baby into the world, they will know that your gonna need his support too and the last thing you will need is him getting the police involved (I cant see them doing much if he does as obviously the sex was consential!!)

Best of luck hun, keep us all informed! x

 

[moomin_troll]

the what if and reality of how ur parents will act will be very different.
ur dad may call the police as ur oh is 16 and you are under age, but once u have spoken to your parents ur dad might cool down.

like others have said u just have to sit ur parents down and tell them straight.
i was 19 when i got pregnant and my mum kept telling me to get rid, i didnt even live at home n she still tried to control me. but thats they way parents get.

good luck

 

[LoisP]

But I was so surprised at how the reacted, they took to it really well, and like alot of the other girls, my bond with my Mum has increased so much!! And shes SO excited about having another grandaughter!

That's what i was going to say. I was so surprised as well but we all seem to forget, they are our mothers, with a child you just have unconditional love for them no matter what they do. We'll be the same with our children, and yeah so true about you bond with your mum more! x

 

[LoisP]

And the police can't actually arrest your OH because he's 16 and your 15. This happened to me when i was younger. I slept with a guy my Dad didn't like, and he tried to get him arrested. The police asked if i consented, so i said yes, then they said they haven't really got a case then. The only way it doesn't matter if you consented he can still be arrested is if you was under 14 and he was over 18. In the UK the police can actually charge that as rape. x

 

[Leah_xx]

Hi im leah im 17. I got pregnant when i was 16.
I didnt find out that I was pregnant till i was like 14 weeks.
I was scared to tell my mom but i came straight out and told her. but it was more difficult to tell my dad cuz he told me the same thing. If u ever get pregnant i will kill you both.
well my dad ended up being mad but a day later he was perfectly fine and there for me.
things will get better. its ur decision on what you want to do.
write them a letter if you have to .
but i wish you the best of luck and congrats!
We are here for you.

 

[lozzy21]

As lois said they police wouldent do anything because your are over 14 and he is under 18.

Id tell them as soon as you can. If your mum is more reasonable than your dad maybe tell your mum first and see how she reacts.

 

[rubixcyoob.]

I was terrified to tell my mum and dad. I was around 10ish weeks when I told them, having known myself for over a month and sat university exams in a state of shock and panic with no one to help me (apart from my OH). It is definately best to tell them straight out than wait. The longer you wait the harder it gets, not only to tell them, but to hide it as well.

I wrote my parent's a letter, left it on their bed and went out for the day. I came home and me and my parent's talked and cried. My mum and dad weren't so supportive at first but once they came around to the idea they have been great. Picking me up, taking me to and joining me in appointments. My mum decorated the nursery, has bought lots of little bits and bobs etc. and is getting so excited. So yes, it does get better. Don't worry about that.

As for your boyfriend, your dad cannot press charges on your behalf I don't believe. That would be like someone else getting raped and another reporting it. Without the 'victims' permission or statement, nothing can happen. So if you yourself do not press charges against your boyfriend I think he should be fine. I'm not too sure though. I would talk to your dad after you've told him - explain you cannot do it without your boyfriend, your boyfriend wants to be a dad and help etc.

Congrats and good luck x