Scared.

[littlemamana]

I'm now 9 weeks pregnant and up until this point, I have been very excited. Of course being 19, I was scared when I first found out but that fear soon dissolved into excitement. The FOB was scared from the beginning and though he pretended that the fear changed, I don't believe it ever did. We had broken up before I found out that I was pregnant and then we decided to get back together when I told him because we thought we should try to make things work. Well, things didn't work. They went from bad to worse and I ended up breaking up with him. He treated me very poorly... actually saying that he didn't believe the baby was his - that he wanted a DNA test, etc. and he knows there is no possible way that it isn't his. He was basically a scared little boy about the whole thing.

I feel good about my decision to break up with him and I don't think I will ever regret that choice. I was unhappy and he was too. I'm just scared about my ability to do it alone. When I think about it, it isn't much different than doing it with him since he is irresponsible and things would probably fall on me anyway... but still, being alone is scary especially now. I have a supportive family but I don't have that OH relationship I need right now.

Have any of the other girls here been through a similar situation? Any insight would be great.

 

[ssamantha]

I'm not in your situation (I haven't told FOB yet), but I I'm really sorry you have to deal with this/him. You're right, it probably won't be much different since he wouldn't contribute much anyway. At least you have family to help. You don't need a guy like that in your life. Do you think there's any chance he'll change and come around eventually?

 

[KiwiMOM]

Yep, although OH is involved now he didn't want to be at first.. so when I decided to raise this baby I thought I was going at it alone.. it was scary. But you aren't really alone! there are heaps of resources for single parents out there

 

[x__amour]

Didn't want to read and run. I haven't but wanted to offer hugs.

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

You'll be a great single mother There are quite a few single mummys about on teen parenting, (and a fair few on this section too I'm sure.) They do an absolutely incredible job at bringing their LOs up alone. You'll be fine

 

[Elizax]

Aw hunni
I got all that of FOB baby too the 'it's not my baby, prove it line'.
Then he came to the first scan and everything changed, he was so happy and said he couldn't feel so much love for a baby that wasn't his and he just knew it was and apologised for everything.

We aren't together now, too many arguments... but I'm in the same situation with a supportive family and being scared of going it alone. I think I'm gonna fail at being a mother because it really is going to be so hard doing everything by myself, but then I remind myself that I'm not alone, I have my mam and sisters there if I need them and they are very willing to help!
I hope your family are the same too, thinking this way really eases a lot of the worry.
Sending my love out to you right now though cause there is nothing harder than being a single mother

If you ever need someone to talk to, PM me anytime. There's nothing worse than having nobody there to help when you're feeling scared.

 

[x.Mum2B.x]

I went through the same thing with my FOB from when I told him I was pregnant and he also used the lines "it's not mine" and talk about DNA test and a lot more. I went through him being there 1 min and then not there the next for 7 months it's not nice atall it's only now I've decided that enough is enough and it's made me feel so much stronger trust me you don't need some1 like that because it just causes you stress. My closest friend is a single mum she said it is hard at 1st but it does get easier. I don't really know what else to say but congrats and I wish you a healthy 40weeks of pregnancy

 

[michele06]

Hey, I am single (FOB not involved). I have pictures of us together on the day I conceived and he still says its not his! Lol plus we were together for 2 yrs silly boy whose else could it be! but thats besides the point. When things are bad with FOB and they are denying their own child, sometimes its BEST to do it alone; for you and baby. SO keep your head up girl you can always private message me I am in the same situation; we broke up before I got pregnant, had sex a few months later, I got pregnant, and we tried to work things out. Things got bad QUICK and I broke up with him when I was 6 wks pregnant; I am 21 weeks now and he has not even texted, called, nothing. The pregnancy is a very happy one though no stress so don't worry girl you can do this

 

[littlemamana]

Thank you all so much for your supportive and reassuring responses! It has made me feel a little bit better to know that I'm not alone in what I am experiencing...

For those going through a similar problem, have you thought about child custody? I am going to have the FOB pay child support, so I will have to determine paternity through DNA testing and all of that. However, I am terrified that he will file for custody should I go through with that. I have been worried sick that him or his family will try to take the baby away somehow. People keep telling me it's a silly worry to have because he's not going to be there for any of the pregnancy and he has been arrested before for drug abuse, etc. But I still worry about it a ton.

 

[mommie2be]

im sure you'll be a lovely mother. you dont need a boy.