Scarred

[Kris0309]

I thought i could do this but i dont think i can. Im around 8 weeks and this just get harder and harder and i cant tell my family. I just dont know what to do i am suppose to start school the end of august and move in there but i dont wanna go to school or be pregnant or anything im already a dissapoointment to my mother . i dont know what to do. The closest abortion clinic is almost 2 hours away and i really dont drive that far and i would have no idea where it is and i cant do it by myself. i dont know what to do. Im 19 and managed to screw up my life.

 

[leedsforever]

Have you not spoke to your mum about it hun?? Do you have a close friend that could support you and go with you?

Is it an abortion you want?

 

[emmie]

Hey hun i think that u reli need to talk to someone u can trust so u can sort your feelings out before u make any decisions that u may end up regreting

 

[Blah11]

I think you should think about it overnight and confide in SOMEONE. Maybe you just need some reassurance? If you want to do this then you can. However, unless you're strong enough to put baby up for adoption, don't bring an unwanted baby into the world. It's a big decision and I think you need to tell someone you trust and be 100% sure you won't regret your decision.

 

[angels330]

hi there,

i was in a very similar situation to you. i was 6 weeks when i found out and i didnt tell anyone until i was 6 months, that first person was my mum because i felt she would be the person to come around first and she has helped me with the courage to tell everyone else. im now 8 months and didnt tell my dad until last week as he is the type of person who would just see disappointment. do you have anyone in the family whom you could confide in? even a close friend might be able to be with you to help you with the courage to tell your family. they will be shocked im sure and many emotions will be running through everyones heads - just like what is happening with me atm. all i can say is that if you want this baby, you need to do what is best for you, your family will come around to the idea eventually, just keep in mind that they will need "shock time" as i call it to get used to the idea.

 

[Kris0309]

Its not really something i want to do. my boyfriend wants me to have it and he has ppl that support him but most of my friends dont agre with keeping it . i dont think i can go through with an abortion. I actually got the nerve to go to the pharmacy to get prenatal vitamins yesterday and started takign them) the grossest things i have ever tastes.)anyway im just scarred with school starting and living in the dorm for the 1st semester trying to hie a pregnancy will be hard. I know i need to tell my mom and it would be easier if i could jus get it over with but its jus so hard. i think ever young mother or expecting mother is so courageous. me and my mom have an up down relationship and i know im jus going to dissapoint her but i dont want her to try to make me have an abortion

 

[Blah11]

Its not really something i want to do. my boyfriend wants me to have it and he has ppl that support him but most of my friends dont agre with keeping it . i dont think i can go through with an abortion. I actually got the nerve to go to the pharmacy to get prenatal vitamins yesterday and started takign them) the grossest things i have ever tastes.)anyway im just scarred with school starting and living in the dorm for the 1st semester trying to hie a pregnancy will be hard. I know i need to tell my mom and it would be easier if i could jus get it over with but its jus so hard. i think ever young mother or expecting mother is so courageous. me and my mom have an up down relationship and i know im jus going to dissapoint her but i dont want her to try to make me have an abortion

She probably will be disappointed, but I'm sure she loves you and will support you when she gets over the shock. Don't make your decision based on what your friends think thats crazy. It's a bad idea 'hiding' the pregnancy. You won't be able to for long and you'll still need to tell everyone eventually.
If you want to keep the baby then you need to rethink going to school until your baby is old enough to go to nursery or whatever. How are you going to support him/her whilst in full time education? You can't and I'm sure you don't want to rely on someone else to provide financially for your child.

 

[Wobbles]

A baby isn't necessarily a 'screw up' hun! Yes it may put your life on a hold a little whist you have baby and adapt but thats only temporary ...you can return to education, full time work, etc. whist pregnant then take a break & return at a later date.

I don't know about the USA but there is financial help available for Mums who return to education (college/uni) in the UK. Maybe someone else could confirm that for the USA? If that help is available there’s absolutely nothing wrong in taking advantage of it (help/financial support) whist you build yourself a potentially better future through further education. Many Mums are now doing it

Talk to your Mum - abortion really isn't the answer and can cause problems in the future ...I know your 19 but at 16 I had my own flat paying my own bills on not much tbh but when you have to you do x

 

[Wobbles]

Just to add it really isn't a decision your friends have the right to make - friends are supportive people in your life if they are not supportive I would question the 'friendship'.

 

[maybebaby]

USA Perspective: There are different programs out there to assist you and your LO, and many colleges will assist with daycare services. It is just dependent on where you live, etc.

 

[mummymadness]

Try stay positive , Youhave to remember your emotions are all over with pregnancy hormones ! , Wich will of course make you doubt and be more upset than usual .
Taking vitamins proves allready hun you are getting an instinct to protect your baby (That is a good positive step) . Wobbles hit the nail on the head , Take as much support as you can if you finish school you will provide a great future for you and baby .
Many mums feel dissapointment . Iam 25 years old ! and my mum is dissapointed in me , But after a few tears and emotional talks she understands and told me she will help how ever she can .
You seem to have a supportive Boyfriend who wants to stick by you and a baby , That is something very special with in itself .
So my only advice sweetheart is try stay positive , Focus on positive things rather than the negative . And dont make any rash descions untill you have had a good lot of thinking time to ajust yourself . xx .

 

[Vickie]

USA Perspective: There are different programs out there to assist you and your LO, and many colleges will assist with daycare services. It is just dependent on where you live, etc.

There is tons of financial aid help out there, you just have to know where to look. You are best off talking to whatever college/university you want to attend (the financial aid office). You will have to fill out a FAFSA form (you should be able to google this to find out more info on it) which schools will use to assess your financial aid ability. Depending on your income you will qualify for different amounts and types of aid. But the best option is to inform yourself, talk to the school you want to attend, ask about financial aid, ask about daycare services, I would also ask them about qualifying for something called a Pell Grant. It is solely based on need and doesn't have to be paid back (unlike loans). I qualified for a Pell Grant throughout my undergraduate career and it really helped me get through school. Good luck

 

[AppleBlossom]

Hey, I'm 19 and have a baby. Yes I'm young but I wouldn't be as harsh as to say that I screwed up my life. You really need to talk to your mother, she may be dissappointed but you obviously need someone by your side whatever decision you make. And be sure to think long and hard but ensure that it is YOUR decision, nobody elses x

 

[Freya]

Ahhhh you sound all over the place right now... hardly suprising! It's a great start you're on baby and bump and thinking things through, but I'm thinking you could do with a face to face chat with someone, either a friend or better still a nurse, or doctor. Being 8 weeks pregnant you still have choices and options, and you just need to think through those options and their consequences and see if you feel any clearer about how you feel and what you want.

As for college, whatever decision you make with pregnancy, maybe you could defer for a year and have some time out to see if further education is what you want, or maybe full time work, travel etc....

YOU are the boss of you and you can only live your life for you, and not anyone else.

Be happy hun, whatever decision you make, it will be the right one!

xxxx