Seeing baby again after pm...

[Izzie74]

Did anyone see their baby again after the pm? They have offered me the choice, but Ben died 4 weeks ago. Part of me longs to see him again and the other half wonders if he will look bad? I was 21+6.

What did you do?

 

[mhazzab]

Yes, we saw our babies after the PM, but it was just 6 days after they died as the PMs were done very quickly. We asked the funeral director if they still looked 'ok', he said they did, so we went to see them. We didn't notice much difference other than their colour. We had given him clothes to dress them in, he dressed them and wrapped them in a blanket. We didn't see any marks etc but that's probably because they were dressed and we deliberately didn't move anything.

Is it worth asking someone, maybe the funeral director, their thoughts? Or ask someone else to go and see him first?
I'm so sorry for your loss xx

 

[Izzie74]

Thanks mhazzab

I think I am going to do just that. Ask what he looks like first then look myself. OH doesn't want to see him, but I really feel that I cannot pass up this last opportunity.

 

[Mahoghani]

Silver had been gone for two weeks. Almost 3. I should have been 17 weeks but he was only developed to 14. It was... very very upsetting. I'm not sure if it was how long he'd been gone or how underdeveloped he was. Still, I had to see him. And as traumatic as it was I'd make the same decision twice. It helped more than it hurt for me.

 

[Izzie74]

I am going to see him Friday

 

[mhazzab]

I am going to see him Friday

I hope it goes ok for you, let us know xxx

 

[Izzie74]

There was an amazing bereavement lady called pat who took us to the morgue. We sat in a small room and she told us what Ben looked like now after 4weeks 3 days away for pm. She had wrapped him in several layers of blankets to make it easier to carry him. It just made him look smaller as he had shrunk somewhat. I looked at his face and unwrapped to see a hand. Then talked to him and said goodbye. We placed him in a cradle and went. It was hard, but strangely uplifting and I know it was the right thing to do for me. Now we have the funeral on 4th July.

 

[mhazzab]

There was an amazing bereavement lady called pat who took us to the morgue. We sat in a small room and she told us what Ben looked like now after 4weeks 3 days away for pm. She had wrapped him in several layers of blankets to make it easier to carry him. It just made him look smaller as he had shrunk somewhat. I looked at his face and unwrapped to see a hand. Then talked to him and said goodbye. We placed him in a cradle and went. It was hard, but strangely uplifting and I know it was the right thing to do for me. Now we have the funeral on 4th July.

I'm glad you found the strength to see him again and that you feel you made the right choice. I hope today is gentle on you xxx

 

[sweetcheeks78]

Thinking of you today xx

 

[JaeSung]

I hope today goes well.