Seeing the good in people

[Ceejay123]

My other half has made a comment about me today which I've taken to heart, though I know he meant it in a good way. He's said it a few times.

He says I always try to see the good in people and that because of it I end up getting walks all over/hurt. First off was with his dad, after Riley was born. I kept insisting for a few months that oh give him another chance, whereas oh and his family kept saying no. After a while they gave him a chance, he completely let us down and had never met my lo because of it, never will. My other half was right.

He's now said I've done the same with one of my family members, a friend and now one of his family members. He says I let myself get walked all over, that I'm too nice his words to his family member (on the phone) was 'its just charlotte, trying to see the best in people as always'

I've never seen it as a bad thing, but I do seem to be being used/walked over a lot lately.

Anyone else accused of being like this? Would you see it as a flaw or a good thing? X

 

[Pandora11]

My DH is like this, and i've known a few others that are too. Sadly, they do get taken for granted, walked over and manipulated. Saying this, i think it's a trait to be proud of, i think you should be more guarded, but when you're that kind of person and you meet decent people (that don't take advantage), it's something that is really valued and makes a person seem more special and kind to those who appreciate it.

If you're family take advantage of you because of that, maybe before making decisions to do with them, ask your OH what he thinks and maybe compromise on it, then you'll be less likely to be used, but still being you... without going the way. If that makes sense?

If there were no people that offered chances to other people that had shown bad judgement/done wrong, then some of those people would never get a chance to show to others and themselves they had changed/learned to make better choices. Others may even give up trying since there was no one to give them a chance.

 

[july2013]

I feel I am very much like you. As is OH too I think. And I think it's a great thing to a certain extent. We seem to put ourselves out there and we give people chance after chance and in the end we are just used and abused. I think we're getting better about judging when enough is enough, and when people are really just taking the piss. So hopefully you'll be able to do the same. I know how it feels hun, and it sucks being a doormat basically. But when you're surrounded by great, trustworthy people it's a very good quality to have.

 

[stephx]

I can tell from your posts that you do this! (in a totally unstalkerish way)

I don't think it's a bad thing at all x

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I'm like this too. My OH often says i'm too nice for my own good!

 

[Ceejay123]

I can tell from your posts that you do this! (in a totally unstalkerish way)

I don't think it's a bad thing at all x

Haha don't worry Steph, I've become familiar with you too. Its us addicts

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Yeah I do this. It's only since becoming a mum I think, I was a right cynic before
But yeah I've been taken for granted SO many times because I refuse to see the bad in others. But it's my own fault because I go back for more, I give second/third/fourth chances and wonder why I get treated exactly the same

I don't know if it's a flaw. I guess I'd rather get walked over now and then but be happy and positive about those around me than be cynical and untrusting. I just wish I wasn't so fecking naive sometimes.

 

[Baby Bell]

My OH is like this, and I love him for it, I love that he can see good in everyone. I HATE that people take advantage of him because of it. I hate that he is there for people come rain or shine then at his worse moments ( like when our son died) his so called friends either drop him or worse take advantage of him, then drop him after they used him, and he is still there for them at the drop of a hat.

 

[Ceejay123]

My OH is like this, and I love him for it, I love that he can see good in everyone. I HATE that people take advantage of him because of it. I hate that he is there for people come rain or shine then at his worse moments ( like when our son died) his so called friends either drop him or worse take advantage of him, then drop him after they used him, and he is still there for them at the drop of a hat.

This is pretty much what my other half said about me


I'm so sorry for the loss of your son x

 

[Baby Bell]

Thank you!

I wouldn't say it's a bad thing.......it's just people whether intentional or not take advantage, it's their fault not my OHs (or yours). Infact I think it's one of the lovely sides of human nature

 

[hakunamatata]

It's definitely not a flaw

I'm more of the opposite I should try to be more like you!