Self confidence problems

[Nathyrra]

Hey girls,

was wondering if anyone suffers from problems with self confidence since starting this journey?

I've working myself up into a state today by feeling all defeated. I don't trust my body to ever do anything good for me. Even before TTC, my body was always letting me down.

Since puberty I had a terrible spinel problem which put me in hospital, and through several operations. It took me years to get the confidence back from those times. Now this TTC is driving me down again. I want to just once feel proud that I am in this skin! I want to ovulate, I wanna see a change on those silly little sticks. Urgh.

I'm in the middle of my cycle. I don't feel anything happening at all, I feel like I've given up before it's even had time to work. I feel like I really need to get myself out of this funk of self hatred and blame. I just hate myself.

I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I am. I told myself I wouldn't get upset this cycle but here I am. There are people much worse off than I. I'm not ungrateful for the things I have. I would just like to get some confidence back and right now I don't know how. I feel like I'm not doing myself any favours!

Anybody have or had self confidence issues with this subject? how do you cope? what gets your head out of the self-blame gutter?

Thanks girls.

 

[HAYS]

Hey my lovely, where are you at exactly with all the tests?i dont blame you for feeling this way, when things are going wrong etc..and u dont feel like your bodys right,your bound to feel down.

I go through phases, at the moment i feel really low in confidence over my body and how ive let it go since ttc, and how the bad IBS i have makes me look 5months preg when im not. I hate the way my body teases me every month, and how i feel completely useless that i cant concieve.

xx

 

[DaisyDuke]

We struggled to ttc and now i have just had an early m/c i to am fuming with my body. I hate my body so much it ruins everything. I was a dancer but got bursitis in my hips and had to give up my dream. I'm sick sick sick of my crap body ruining my plans and life long dreams Feel's good to let it out

 

[MissMonty]

Hi, I think I now how you are feeling - I am always blaming myself, my DH had very good SA results which is fab but now all I keep thinking is that there must be something wrong with me inside - been TTC for 16 months, using CBFM, ovulating every month, bding all the time and still nothing AF always turns up on time! I have a retroverted uterus and I'm certain this is the cause of the problems but so many other women have this and have conceived. I must admit I have lost a lot of self confidence when seeing my friends who have children - I feel so much more confident when I’m with friends who are not pregnant or with children as I feel I can forget the struggle of TTC for a while. DH has been very supportive – he is 37 this month and so wants a child before he is 40 – I just hope it will happen soon for all of us

 

[JASMAK]

I can relate to what you are feeling. I feel like my body has let me down. It is the one thing a women is born to do, and I can't do it. Worse, I feel that other people think it's because I'm fat, shouldn't have more, or because I have a special needs child and the rest aren't "meant to be". This brings me down horribly. Every BFN feels like a failure to me. I know we all shouldn't look at it this way, but it is hard not to.

 

[bryany1]

Hiya

Firstly Nathyrra i feel exactly the same as you. It doesn't men you are ungrateful at all for wat you have. We all would just like wat should come so naturally for us.

Hays, I have IBS too and often look pregnant. Also have endo and a cyst at the moment so tummy is even more swollen. Am on a healthy eating regime as going out at the weekend and will just feel concious about it

Daisy, sorry for your m/c hunny

Miss monty,

We just have to try and believe it will happen for us. We have been ttc for 3 years now. I am due my 3rd op in 2 years and we also have male factor to contend with. We were told we wouldn't get preganant naturally but you still hope a/f won't come evry month. Just feels like my body hates me sometimes

Take care

Hope we all get wat we want soon

nic

 

[Nathyrra]

We struggled to ttc and now i have just had an early m/c i to am fuming with my body. I hate my body so much it ruins everything. I was a dancer but got bursitis in my hips and had to give up my dream. I'm sick sick sick of my crap body ruining my plans and life long dreams Feel's good to let it out

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage.. Such a terribly cruel thing to have happen after all you've been through my heart just breaks for you..

I also was a stage performer when I was younger, well singer. After my ops I couldn't get the energy or the breath to do it any more. So I understand how you feel about your dreams with dancing. I -could- go back to performing now as my back is much stronger, but I've picked up a terrible stage fright since being off the stage. Who'd believe it huh.

 

[Nathyrra]

Hey my lovely, where are you at exactly with all the tests?i dont blame you for feeling this way, when things are going wrong etc..and u dont feel like your bodys right,your bound to feel down.

I go through phases, at the moment i feel really low in confidence over my body and how ive let it go since ttc, and how the bad IBS i have makes me look 5months preg when im not. I hate the way my body teases me every month, and how i feel completely useless that i cant concieve.

xx

Hey Chick, I am with Clomid right now. January I get a bloodtest & internal ultrasound to check follies. Then I'm onto injections.

I get alot of care and support from my doctor, which is great. I don't feel depressed as such with all the stuff going on. Just very unconfident with myself. x

 

[Schmelly]

I understand the lack of confidence. I feel like I'm not a 'proper' woman, because my body won't do what it was designed to do. I don't know what to advise, because I am also struggling with this problem, but just wanted to let you know you're not on your own in feeling this way.

 

[Beckic]

I hate it that TTC has done this too us - esp when all of you girls look so beautiful in your avatars - you shouldn't have to feel like this.

My self confidence has been stripped more because of the BDin side of things. We had a normal sex life before - but now BDin is about baby making. I do my best to keep thigns lively (have two drawers full of ann sunners underwear) but it desnt stop the fact that we only now BD around ovulation tine - after that I dont make a move on him cos I have been forcing him for a week and he doesnt come near me. We had a heart to heart about it last week and he said he just doesnt feel lke sex anymore cos it feels like such a chore and only about one thing.

Him not wanting to BD just makes me feel so ugly and unattractive which has completely lowered my self confidence - i have been worried recently about going out over xmas with my friends who are are all so much more beautiful than me. I feel that TTC has scarred my relationship and me and it is going to be so hard to mend it.

My only solace is excercise and the gym - after half an hour on the treadmill lstening to 80's cheese I am ready to take on the world!!

its utterly shite that we hvae to all go through this - esp when it seems like you all have so much other stuff to contend with health wise - you girls are wonderful and I want nothing more than 2009 to be the year for all of us (although a few xmas BFP's would be even better).

for you all. I think you are all lovely.

bx x x