Self-harm?

[fantastica]

Don't know if this is the right place....but saw one about eds in here and have seen a few people mention it so

Just wondering if there are many people on here dealing with self-harm etc? Or who have done?

Only realised today how long i'd stopped for...but right now there's nothing i want more! Argh

 

[bumpsmum]

hey hun yeah Im sure this is the right place. Sorry to hear your feeling the urge but well done for being strong enough to fight it for so long. Im not sure what I do is classed as 'self harm' but some might say it is, I think If I leave it unchecked though I could easily see it escalate so I have an app with a psychiatrist today.

Basically I have PND and think the most horrible thoughts to tak my mind of it I pick at my skin and tweeze leg hairs obsessivly I have also began to tug on my hair (not enough to pull any out but enough for it to hurt - which I get a sense of relief and distraction).

It is good to know that you are pre-empting a relapse as talking about it and seeking support will help. I must admit im a bit cautious of going into specifics on an open forum and been toying with seeing if the mods were able to create a locked usergroup like GS for mental health issues. However very happy to talk more via PM if you ever want to chat xx

 

[Drazic<3]

Bumpsmum is totally right, by pre-empting a relapse you are really showing how far you have come. Would you consider going to the doctors and asking for some support?

I self-harmed for several years, and since losing Edan I have found it really hard to not go back there (getting a massive tattoo helped! ) but I already hate my massive scars and ruined arms. If you need someone to talk to, I have been there (am there?!) and will always listen and try and support you.

 

[RinnaRoo]

Im right there with you. When I was younger for some reason I became massively depressed, and it kinda went away when I became focused in high school.

But when my mom passed when I was in the Army, I felt the most alone, unwanted, and overall heartbroken. Unable to eat, sleep, and basically stop cutting my self.
To make things worse, I didnt know what REALLY happened to my beloved and beautiful mom. She committed suicide out of no where. She was never that kind of person, and had never attempted before. She wrote me letters everyday about how she was so excited to see me after basic, all the fun things we would do. And she was ripped from my life, my best friend, who told me she would never leave me behind, who had promised...

So I became a lost soul.

Cutting myself, trying to drown my self, attempting hangings.

I had to go through alot of growth to get to where I am. And I COMPLETELY understand what its like to want to cut. Its like a massive release of emotions.

We just have to realize that we ARE better than that, and we ARE loved and needed by many. So many people depend on us to be alive and well centered. I find comfort in that now.
I hope that you know how special and beautiful you are and how much people love you.

 

[kmh2009]

im with you aswell. not doing so positive though

 

[MrsRoughton]

i self harmed a lot in my teenage years and eventually ended up being sectioned. i have not self harmed in a long time but its always there when i am stressed, but i try to think of where it could lead me and i have one friend who is a massive support and who i can tell anything and she would never judge. and like Drazic i have been left severly scarred. i would go to your gp or if you have a close friend to talk to try nd tell them how you feel. and you can always pm me xxx

 

[Kitten]

I haven't done it in 3 years now

Well done on recognising you're in a bad place and looking for help x

 

[faille]

I've been there as well hun and some days I still fight the urge to need to do it just as a means of release.

The biggest part of my life was when I was 15-18, those were the toughest and darkest years of my life where self harm was the worst.

I have had the urge recently to do it and I must admit that on one occasion it just got too much I did do it.. Got the scar and then had to lie to OH about how I got it. It was worth it at the time but the lies and feelings afterwards wasn't... So if you are getting urges again then speak to somebody hun, don't go backwards xx

If you ever need to talk then feel free to pm me x

 

[Windmills]

I used to SH, my thighs are quite badly scarred from it.. I haven't for about 2 years or so, but it's hard. Especially now I'm dealing with so much related to FOB, I get the urge so so often.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I also used to self harm. I haven't done it now for about 4 years but I used to be quite bad. I was sent to counselling etc but in the end I beat it by myself. I have scars all over my stomach and legs from it and I hate the stomach ones now because whenever I have to show my bump to someone you can see them all there xx

 

[kit603]

I haven't self-harmed in 2 and a half years, but I used to self-harm quite regularly before that by cutting on my arms. I have loads of scars, which I hate, but on occasion I do still feel like doing it and it takes a lot of effort and willpower not to so well done for holding out for so long x

We're all hear if you need to talk.

I think the idea of a locked forum is a good idea whoever mentionned it. I don't often like going into detail on here incase someone I know reads about my depression/self-harm etc.

 

[hellohefalump]

I've just stopped self harming (again...)

I started when I was 16 and stopped when I was 20, when I got pregnant. More recently I started again during the summer and stopped again a few months ago. My depression got so bad I stopped caring about stopping cutting, but then I went into psychosis, and even though I was very unwell and on the brink of being admitted to hospital, I FELT much much better so I stopped cutting myself again.

So now I'm trying to stay stopped, in the hope that the redness will have gone or nearly gone by next summer.

I don't think that cutting is much different from using smoking or drinking as a coping mechanism... other people don't tend to see it that way though. I don't understand...

 

[Love Bunny]

I'm a recovered physical self harmer ! Urgh god when I think about when I was younger... I used to slash myself to ribbons

I had alot of shit happen to me when I was young and cutting was my outlet. I started on my legs when I was about 11 then I started on my arms and now at 19 they are ruined! Luckaly I stopped when I was around 17 (probably had something to do with leaving that shithole of a school and leaving all the shitbags in it behind)

If anything now I'm a stronger person and I'm angry that the people that drove me to it cause i didn't deserve it

I went to a big school where everyone was pretty chavvy and narrow minded and obviously me being a "weirdo" - cause my family's all hippyfied and I dressed differently and was a vegetarian blah blah blah !!! I got bullied to shit even though I was probably the nicest person there! :\

my scars are so raised and wide from stitches and deffinatly beyond fading and repair without laser surgery!! And even after 3 years they are still very very noticable and its annoying cause now I have the confidence to be myself and wear what I like - i can't without being questioned about why my arms look like a car crash!

Most of the time nowadays I wish i'd never done it and I hate hate HATE my scars so much! But at the same time I know theres no way I would have made it through school if I hadn't have done it. I have no doubt i'd probably be in a grave so I guess thats one positive?!

BUT! I can safely say now, that after leaving that dump and all its pustules behind and finally meeting more people like me, who share the same interests (or are just generally NICE people!!!) I have no intention of ever going back to SH !!!

I think once you overcome the biggest hurdle that was holding you back then its the biggest step you make. And once you've cleared it you look at the scars and think "man I don't want ANY more of these - I have enough!"

Hope you are all okay

One major thing I've learnt though - no matter how ugly you think you look on the outside, your inner beauty will always shine over it ^_^ xxx

 

[Love Bunny]

Double post! xx

 

[bana]

yeah tattoos do help, but they become as addictive! Well done for seeking advice x

 

[Rmar]

I self harmed but only after being put on zoloft. I hadn't thought about it before then but I remember being on it for a few weeks and I couldn't stop crying unless I cut myself. I eventually took lots of zoloft and got myself in hospital. Probably the best thing I could have done (though it doesn't sound like it) because I finally got told by another doctor that zoloft is most definetly not recommended for people with bipolar and I had to be weaned off it. I'm a little miffed that I got put on it in the first place and ever since then, I haven't been back to a psychiatrist. I managed better without one. That being said, I know people that manage better with one.

The best part is that now I look back and say "whoa, I haven't done this for 2 years. I feel good." I haven't had any urge to do it for 6 months now.

 

[nkbapbt]

I have never self harmed, but my real mom and my biological younger brother who is 13 have. Therefore I have done a boat load of research about it and even took courses in counseling on it and worked with my dog (who is a therapy dog) in counseling people who self harm. I think it's very important that you are aware you are in need of doing it but arent actively seeking to commit harm to yourself. I think you need to talk to someone ASAP. There are many things available now that can help, from online forums to in person support groups. They sound silly but they do WORK!

Do something now before the urge gets any worse.

If anyone ever wants to talk to a totally NON judgmental person with a background in counseling people who self harm...please please please please PM me. I can just listen or give you advice. And like I said I have ZERO judgment! ZERO!!!!

Edit: Don't feel like oh I dont know her...or she's never done it so how could she understand. I get it, PM and I will explain.

So much respect to everyone being honest and open about this touchy subject!

 

[hellohefalump]

just pondering...

I self harm when my depression gets bad, and when my depression gets bad I stop caring about what I look like (scars etc) or what people think. So I have zero motivation not to cut. So without motivation, how do I stay 'stopped' when I'm depressed? I don't even regret it afterwards, I've been known to say that 'cutting is my favourite thing' when I'm depressed. But then when I'm less depressed I do regret it because they take so long to heal and leave me with scars.

 

[nkbapbt]

The toughest thing about self harm, is learning to deal with your emotions that cause you to self harm in other ways. Most people do it when depressed, angry, sad or something along those lines. If there is one thing you know is depressing you, you need to deal with it.

Most people who self harm have "triggers" its about knowing what they are and how to avoid them, but more so knowing how to deal with them in healthier ways when they happen.

Self harm isn't something you just "stop" or "get over" it's a whole new way of thinking and being. Its very tough to stop, but it can be done.

Lots of people find success in writing down their emotions and then destroying the letter (ripping it up, burning it..whatever) or in aggressive physical exercise like boxing. Yelling into a pillow...whatever works for them.

I think the thing that wakes a lot of moms or moms to be up, is what will you do when your child asks where your scars came from? Its proven that children of self harmers are more than 67% likely to do it themselves. I dont think anyone in the world wants their child to self harm, for me that would be enough to make me stop.

But its not that simple is it?

Most women who self harm are extremely bright and smart people too...yet you likely feel worthless and dumb for not being able to stop. Well it can be an addiction.

You need to know you and your body are worth more than the scars you are creating on yourself. There ARE other ways to deal with things than hurting yourself.

Yes they might not come with that "release" or the "high" self harming comes with, but they are more healthy and less scarring literally and figuratively than harming yourself.

You are not stupid, dumb, worthless or pathetic if you self harm.

 

[Jetters]

hellohefalump, I completely agree, I definitely think of SH as a coping mechanism.

Can any of the regular posters here request that this gets moved to the Locked Topics bit pleasey please???


I have self harmed since I was 10 and as such my body is a scarred mess, although I no longer cut I still class myself as a self harmer- the way a sober alcoholic still refers to themselves as an alcoholic. Make sense?