Self-harm?

[Linzi]

I self harmed when I was younger, and still do now although not to the same extent, if you need anyone to talk to feel free to PM me. x

 

[Love Bunny]

hellohefalump, I completely agree, I definitely think of SH as a coping mechanism.

Can any of the regular posters here request that this gets moved to the Locked Topics bit pleasey please???


I have self harmed since I was 10 and as such my body is a scarred mess, although I no longer cut I still class myself as a self harmer- the way a sober alcoholic still refers to themselves as an alcoholic. Make sense?

Tbh I don't think its a good idea that this should be made a sticky.... Its like the ED support group I created, its nice that it is there for people whithout it sort of plastered all over the board for ALL to see if you know what I mean

obviously people can still see these threads and if they choose to look in them fair enough, but its nicer that people who genuinely are linked with these problems can sort of post in here of their own accord without people simply having a nosey at whats going on just BECAUSE its a sticky.

Hope your all doing okay ladies

hellohefalump, thats a good question really!!! I was the same when I was younger I just used to cut cut and cut and I really didnt give a shite about what they looked like.... But now I do and I think its because eventually people started noticing and I started to feel ashamed self harming isn't shameful in the slightest but people who don't understand it find it "weird" and often make quick judgements on the people that do it - as i found! Obviously at the end of the day anyone that DOES judge you on it isn't worth the time of day but it still hurts that you don't even get that chance !

Its an incredibly difficult cycle to get out of especially when you have fresh cuts because when the time comes your feeling shit again you just think "whats the difference if I just do it a few more times??". When I was at school I was a "weirdo" and "mental" or "not right in the head" so I used to think fuck it yeah I must be and I just cut more and more cause its not like anyone was bothered and I hated myself and how I looked

It was only when I broke free of being around the things that brought me down that I was able to recover and stop. I was around new people and people that liked me for ME!!!! but hellohefalump, you already know that I also suffer from ED's and relapse so you might say that I kicked SH and that it got replaced with eating controll issues!!!! I dunno.... I guess I'm babbling on! But what I was trying to get at is its deffinatly a good idea to asess whats making you do it cause 9 times outta 10 you'll kick it once the underlying problem is solved/left behind and look back and when you haven't done it for a while think my god I'm not doing that again!! I have to force myself nowadays to think "i'm better than that I don't NEED it anymore" - easier said than done but if like me no amount of therapists, psychiatrists or antidepressents worked to make me feel any better (works wonders for some people mind!!!) but I had to sort MYSELF out. No one could help me but me and it can be frustrating when your butting your head against a brick wall talking to some shrink that isn't working - when you only need to just figure out that you will sort yourself out in your own time!!!

Gah, sorry about the beastly post!

to all of you ladies xxxxxx

 

[Rmar]

I am never truthful to any counselor or psychologist. I always talk crap when am in there. I don't know why, I just don't trust them and I have bad memories as a kid about sitting through family counselling and listen to them say my brother was a normal teenage boy and the problem was my sister and mum (who were only people who showed emotion in the room) and he wasn't doing anything to make them upset. Problem was he cut himself daily, drunk alcohol excessively, got expelled from 5 different schools and made our lives living hell while battling bipolar. If that is normal to these people, their perception of society is messed up.

Ever since I don't talk the truth to any of them. When I got admitted to the hospital after taking a bunch of zoloft, I got a hospital appointed counselor and he said I was fine to not go back after 4 sessions because I was coping.

Does anyone else not trust mental health professionals?

 

[Love Bunny]

I didn't hun, like i said in my above post - i did it all by myself! I just couldnt see the logic in talking to someone who A) i didnt particually want to, B) was PAID to analyse me and pass judgement and C) who really didn't know fuck all about first hand mental illness. To be quite honest the docs/psychiatrists I saw I thought they were very naieve and clueless. The only thing they knew about mental ilness is what was written in a textbook written by someone else who knew nothing about mental illness but what they'd been told and "studied"!!!

x

 

[Faerie]

I self-harmed from 13-16 until I guess I started another sort of SH by being in a physically abusive relationship until I was 21.

I think the last time I was tempted was before I was pregnant, I've got as far as the kitchen drawer but been able to hold back. I have such a lovely DH and he would never understand, I couldn't do it to him. I do compulsively pick at my arms though.. need to stop.

I hate my scars. I've thought about having laser treatment but worried they'd get worse.

 

[kelly2903]

wow im not in the position but i didnt realise that it was like that i mean getting the urge to it.... so i suppose its like an addiction very well done for over coming the urges i think you ladies are very strong xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Faerie]

wow im not in the position but i didnt realise that it was like that i mean getting the urge to it.... so i suppose its like an addiction very well done for over coming the urges i think you ladies are very strong xxxxxxxxxxx

Yes, it is an addiction, the only I've ever had (apart from buying cloth nappies perhaps...). I took drugs when I was older, basically to escape my situation, but I could always take or leave those. When I was at school self-harm was the only way I could make it through the day.

All I worry about now is making sure my baby girl is never in the same situation.

 

[blaze777]

I used to sh from the age of 13-19. I had a lot going on in my head and it felt like the only way to relieve the pressure of what was going on iykwim? I didn't cut but I used to scratch and pick at my skin until it scarred. Since I've been with hubby, I haven't done it to such an extent, I've relapsed a couple of times, but have not really had any severe episodes. My brother in law is also an ex sh'er and my hubby used to have to be the one to take him to hospital to get stiches and he was even put into a mental home for a while. So I try not to do it as it brings far too many bad memories up for my DH

 

[Jetters]

Love Bunny, I don't know what a sticky is... sorry!! I just meant it might be better being moved into the 'locked' section of these boards that are for members only... so that lurkers can't read and stop people worrying about who's seeing what.

Sorry if I wasn't clear!!

 

[Love Bunny]

No worries I thought you meant the bit where the threads at the top of the page are !

Unfortunatly I don't think they can do members only posts ! The only private members only section is the Girly Sanc I think xxx

 

[shocker]

Ever since I don't talk the truth to any of them. When I got admitted to the hospital after taking a bunch of zoloft, I got a hospital appointed counselor and he said I was fine to not go back after 4 sessions because I was coping.

Does anyone else not trust mental health professionals?

I completely know what you mean hun I took on overdose of sleeping tablets last year and when i woke up at the hospital the next day they said i was medically sound and so i must be fine now.Didnt refer me to counselling or anything just recomended i return to my local mental health centre, i told them no way because at the time i was quite paranoid about them.They ended up giving me a home nurse and that helped massivly.I ended up returning to the centre after a while but half the time when i go to the counsellor i just say keep saying things until i get a rise out of her because she never responds, now shes moving somewhere else so im getting shifted to another for the millionth time.I never bother telling them how i really feel anymore, they dont have the time and they dont really care, i wouldnt trust a single one of them, they just want to push medication on people without even considering other options first.Been seen by so many at this point im sick of them and know they dont give a toss.You gotta get better yourself, you have to pick yourself up and fight it alone because theyre not gonna help a dime.Its better that way anyway, you have yourself to thank when you get back to a better place mentally and the knowledge that if you slip again it will be ok, because you've beaten it before and you can beat it again.

 

[Elliebump]

I self harmed from the age of 12-19, i know how you feel.I won't explain the reasons why i done it and what i done as i would be here forever and a day but the important part is i haven't SH since apr 07. I never spoke to anyone about it,not even my friends-especially not any counsellor or doctor.The only person i told,was the person who stopped me from doing it and one of the reasons why i haven't done it since.It paid off for me opening up about it to someone who cared about me,so one thing i have learnt is not to keep things to myself.A problem shared is definately a problem halved.If anyone wants someone to talk to,i would be happy to listen xx

 

[tiggerlix]

self harm can be seen in many ways...although i hurt my self when a teenager it escaleted into alcohol abuse as i got older..the urge was exactly the same except i used strong alcohol to numb it.Last time i cut my self was almost 3 yrs ago.It so easy to do and the triggers seem more and more lately..but im off the alcohol and the urges to self harm further are disapearing..Medication has helped greatly and now just started to see my thearapist.Im hoping i can put this way of thinking behind me and move on.
wishing all you ladies best of luck..
xxx