self settling

[Ema]

Jacob has only learnt the past week or so to self settle but he still likes a good cuddle then when he is really tired i put him down give him his dummy and elephant blanket and he is asleep with minutes I can never bring myself to put him down wide awake i still think he needs his mummy XxxX

 

[Jemima]

Gosh, Rafwife, your family seem obsessed with meddling! It's so annoying when people try to interfere.

We started to get Poppy to settle herself when she turned 4 months as I didn't fancy rocking her to sleep forever (she is really heavy now!) I personally don't think you can spoil a tiny baby BUT it can be useful when they can get themselves to sleep, save mummies and daddies a lot of time!

Good luck with everything. x

 

[emma_27]

I dont leave ellie to cry it out unless i know she exhausted which doesnt happen very often. She cries for me everytime i go out because she is very clingy so it puts me off going out. I wouldnt leave her with any body that would leave her to cry it out i dont think it their place to. Do what you think is right mommies know whats best. I said i wont be told what to do with my baby to my family and the in laws so know ones says anything to me. my mil tries thing behind my back which im going to stop!

 

[nessajane]

im really sorry to invade this thread but how do you actually go about letting them self settle do you just completely leave them or do you keep going back etc not sure what you need to do

Lou
xxx

i was in the same room as tyler so i kept my eye on him xx

 

[bluebell]

I started to allow Jasper to self settle from about 8 weeks on, up until then I was rocking/singing him to sleep for every sleep time. I was ending up a total mess in the end, as some nights it would take up to 3 hours to get him to sleep and stay asleep!

For the last 4 weeks he's been fully self settling, and I keep saying to my OH how much of a relief it is, how much pressure is taken off me and just how much nicer our day is.

I agree with this Jay was never easy to settle and I was really struggling as every nap / sleep time I'd spend ages pacing the floor to get him to sleep only for his to wake 30 mins later and me to do the same I also couldn't get anyone to look after him for me as I didn't want them to have to deal with a screaming baby

But I believe that you can't spoil a young baby and I am so glad about the amount of mollycoddling Jay had at the start, it was precious bonding time But when we got to 15 weeks enough was enough for us and I had to find another way.

It took a few weeks but he now goes to sleep in minutes on his own and whinges as he drops off. I would always go straight to him if he was distress calling, but it is rare he does this type of screaming.

I just took it really slowly, started off by putting him down and picking him up if he started crying. Then I just stood by the cot and shhed him for a few days. Then I spent a few days going in and out of the room every 30 secs and kissing him on the head and now I put him down awake with his dummy and pop back in every 5 mins or so until he drops off, which is usually within minutes.

Mum's always know best and we have to stand by what we think is right for our LO's (My MIL often remarks how she did it differently )

xx

 

[reallytinyamy]

Chloe is 7 months and I still settle her

 

[princessellie]

leyla self settles sometimes, but i do have to rock her to sleep sometimes too, i personally couldnt do the whole CIO thing, i feel far too much of a bitch lol, then again when leyley cries she screeeeams lol, shes either happy or miserable...i say u should ignore your family and do whatever it is you want, i mean...shes your baby after all!

 

[nikky0907]

Lola only started settling herself at 4 1/2 months and still only sometimes. What they're saying is ridiculous, she's clearly a doing great and sleeping through.
Just

 

[vicwick]

I will never let Alfie CIO i just don't agree with it, i read a book which said "how would you feel if your husband left you to cry and didn't comfort you when something was upsetting you" which really made me think, babies cry for a reason whether it be for a cuddle or cos he's overtired i don't see any harm in cuddling your bubs if it means s/he'll go to sleep calmly. Just means bubs needs mammy!!!

I also read that a baby who's left to CIO is at more risk of SIDS as they overheat due to the crying so its def a risk i would never take as i'm paranoid enuff about SIDS

Do whatever u feel is right hun you're the Mammy and know whats best for your bubs

 

[Linzi]

I used to get the same greif from my family about Seth, particularally my parents and inlaws. When Seth was having trouble sleeping at about 7 months old my HV told me that at that age they still dont really understand CIO and you should only leave them for a max of 5 mins at a time. So Id imagine at 8 weeks that it's a no go.

I feel the same about leaving him though, I dont want to leave him with either of our parents because I know they'll leave him to cry for hours and it's not what I want for him.

Do what you're comfortable with and don't let anyone boss you around, she's still very very young.

xxx

 

[Tiff]

I was just reading about "Fuberizing" your baby, which is a CIO method of sorts... but most doctors agree that it isn't until a baby is 4-6 months before you should allow them to CIO. Right now is the time that you need to re-affirm to Niamh that when she cries (calls out to you) that you'll come. It's the beginning stages of her awareness of self-worth. Doing it this early could affect that and make her feel worthless... so to speak.

Of course she wouldn't think that specifically, but I do think it would have a profound effect on a newborn that when they called, nobody answers.

Just my 2.5 cents

 

[polo_princess]

Hmmm i think its a bit wrong of your family to be interfering like that Rafwife

I dont really tend to leave her at this age if she needs comforting, having said that i dont go running everytime she whinges or cries i do give her a chance to settle back down herself first as sometimes by the time ive got to her she's ok and i've got up for nothing

 

[oOKayOo]

I was just reading about "Fuberizing" your baby, which is a CIO method of sorts... but most doctors agree that it isn't until a baby is 4-6 months before you should allow them to CIO. Right now is the time that you need to re-affirm to Niamh that when she cries (calls out to you) that you'll come. It's the beginning stages of her awareness of self-worth. Doing it this early could affect that and make her feel worthless... so to speak.

Of course she wouldn't think that specifically, but I do think it would have a profound effect on a newborn that when they called, nobody answers.

Just my 2.5 cents

I did CIO at 2.5 months , you do answer to them. You dont just leave them there crying and crying.
Once you know when your baby is tierd is when the time to do it , i kept going back every 30 seconds to sooth her , not picking her up , hushing and smiling making sure she knows mummy is not far so she can sleep without me having to hold her pretty much 24/7.

I just wanted to chip in as there are so many people on this forum saying , its not right , you shouldnt do it etc etc.

Whatever you decide to do for you and your baby is 100% up to you , im saying this because later down the line and IF LO isnt sleeping well and you have tried everything apart from CIO because of all the 'horror stories' that its not evil and its not doing baby any harm. Tis all

Im a success story and its nice to see if its worked on others, not exactly helpful with people preaching about it when they havnt even tried it, just read 'reports'.

Sorry if i went on , just gets my goat when i just feel looked down ( even if not directly at me) when people say things like ' Its not right etc'

 

[Tiff]

I was just reading about "Fuberizing" your baby, which is a CIO method of sorts... but most doctors agree that it isn't until a baby is 4-6 months before you should allow them to CIO. Right now is the time that you need to re-affirm to Niamh that when she cries (calls out to you) that you'll come. It's the beginning stages of her awareness of self-worth. Doing it this early could affect that and make her feel worthless... so to speak.

Of course she wouldn't think that specifically, but I do think it would have a profound effect on a newborn that when they called, nobody answers.

Just my 2.5 cents

I did CIO at 2.5 months , you do answer to them. You dont just leave them there crying and crying.
Once you know when your baby is tierd is when the time to do it , i kept going back every 30 seconds to sooth her , not picking her up , hushing and smiling making sure she knows mummy is not far so she can sleep without me having to hold her pretty much 24/7.

I just wanted to chip in as there are so many people on this forum saying , its not right , you shouldnt do it etc etc.

Whatever you decide to do for you and your baby is 100% up to you , im saying this because later down the line and IF LO isnt sleeping well and you have tried everything apart from CIO because of all the 'horror stories' that its not evil and its not doing baby any harm. Tis all

Im a success story and its nice to see if its worked on others, not exactly helpful with people preaching about it when they havnt even tried it, just read 'reports'.

Sorry if i went on , just gets my goat when i just feel looked down ( even if not directly at me) when people say things like ' Its not right etc'

You shouldn't feel looked down on if people are saying it isn't right. It's their own opinion, and has nothing to do with how you're raising your LO. I'm sure there are lots of things that you might not agree with other people doing, but in saying that I'm sure you definitely arn't looking down on them for doing it.

Bottom line is exactly what you said: Whatever you decide to do for you and your baby is 100% up to you Other people opinions should just be that - opinions.

 

[Linzi]

I was just reading about "Fuberizing" your baby, which is a CIO method of sorts... but most doctors agree that it isn't until a baby is 4-6 months before you should allow them to CIO. Right now is the time that you need to re-affirm to Niamh that when she cries (calls out to you) that you'll come. It's the beginning stages of her awareness of self-worth. Doing it this early could affect that and make her feel worthless... so to speak.

Of course she wouldn't think that specifically, but I do think it would have a profound effect on a newborn that when they called, nobody answers.

Just my 2.5 cents

I did CIO at 2.5 months , you do answer to them. You dont just leave them there crying and crying.
Once you know when your baby is tierd is when the time to do it , i kept going back every 30 seconds to sooth her , not picking her up , hushing and smiling making sure she knows mummy is not far so she can sleep without me having to hold her pretty much 24/7.

I just wanted to chip in as there are so many people on this forum saying , its not right , you shouldnt do it etc etc.

Whatever you decide to do for you and your baby is 100% up to you , im saying this because later down the line and IF LO isnt sleeping well and you have tried everything apart from CIO because of all the 'horror stories' that its not evil and its not doing baby any harm. Tis all

Im a success story and its nice to see if its worked on others, not exactly helpful with people preaching about it when they havnt even tried it, just read 'reports'.

Sorry if i went on , just gets my goat when i just feel looked down ( even if not directly at me) when people say things like ' Its not right etc'

Yeah I agree with that I think I was a bit harsh in my previous post. But CIO never worked for us so I'm a bit nagative on it anyway, not to say its wrong or anything. I bloody wish it worked, just taken me an hour and a half to get little man off to sleep

xxx

 

[AC81]

I think she's a bit young to CIO. Everything I've been told/read etc says to only do it from 16weeks-ish of age.

I'm not against CIO completely or anything, we were going to do that with Erin because I didn't know how to get her to go to sleep on her own at night or at all for that matter. Up until a week ago, I had to sleep holding her all night (I did that for 3 whole months) because she couldn't self settle at all - she had to go to sleep in my arms and on the boob, and she'd cry the second I put her down in her cot. I helped her learn to self settle by using PUPDCD (pick up put down cry down) and after only 3 or 4 nights she learnt to go sleep on her own in her cot! It worked so much quicker than I thought it would.

If you do want her to learn to self settle there are other ways to do it if CIO isn't for you. Good luck xx

By the way - you can't spoil a baby by cuddling either. My inlaws give me greif about this too. I finally snapped the other day and shouted that she was MY baby and I'll do what I damn well like with her. I'll hold her 24/7 if I want! That shut them up. Tell them to piss off and keep cuddling your little one.