red_head
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So I apologise if this offends anyone, its only my opinion and my opinion is often wrong!
Ive has a really hard time ttc, and recently had a second trimester loss. Needless to say I am very sensitive about this stuff. So this was one factor in deleteing all my social media - Facebook, twitter etc, a couple years ago. I think its all a bit weird and also couldnt stand all the pregnancy announcements! The only thing I still have is Instagram, and I use that to help with mindfulness - I dont post a lot but like looking at nature photos etc and seeing what my close friends are up to.
Anyway my problem is my sister in law - she had pnd after her first child who is now four. Shes just had her second child. All she does is moan about it. Her pnd has all stemmed from the fact she likes to be in control o everything and do what she wants to do, and she doesnt like having to give things up, independence including. I think in some ways thats become almost fashionable to moan about how you cant drink when you want or have to do stuff for your child instead of what you want to do (and I know thats controversial so I apologise if that offends anyone). There is lots of stuff in magazines and on Facebook Ive heard of about mums who want to drink gin and shirk their parental responsibility, and its funny to an extent when its tongue in cheek, but there comes a point when I just think - did these people actually want to be parents? Do they not get what that means? Its like they expect a baby to slot into their life and keep quiet while they socialise, rather than actually being a parent, looking after a tiny human youve created, that is totally dependant on you. Its really pissing me off! She knew the issues from the first time round, she knew what to expect and knew what shed have to give up. She chose to have another baby, but she is not appreciating or enjoying a second of it. She posts literally daily about how the baby wont sleep, how she cant do what she wants, that she wants to go out with her friends, how shes fed up of crying babies, and then shes getting all this praise from her friends for speaking out and how hard it is to give up your independence and how awful it is when theyre babies and itll be fine in a few years. I would kill to give up my independence and have a baby!! I would do anything to have what she has. And I know this resentment is from my jealousy, and Im probably being unkind and nasty, but its so unfair!! I know what shes going through is something I cant understand but she knows what we went through, just weeks ago, and about a month after she gave birth, so youd think she would try and be sensitive or that may put things in perspective.
I dont know whether to delete her from my instagram and try and avoid her and not speak to her irl (which I have done to an extent anyway). The problem is she will know Ive done it, and I think thatll cause tension I dont want. I dont want to have to delete it completely but I guess thats an option.
Am I just being thoughtless and cruel? Has anyone else experienced similar?
Ive has a really hard time ttc, and recently had a second trimester loss. Needless to say I am very sensitive about this stuff. So this was one factor in deleteing all my social media - Facebook, twitter etc, a couple years ago. I think its all a bit weird and also couldnt stand all the pregnancy announcements! The only thing I still have is Instagram, and I use that to help with mindfulness - I dont post a lot but like looking at nature photos etc and seeing what my close friends are up to.
Anyway my problem is my sister in law - she had pnd after her first child who is now four. Shes just had her second child. All she does is moan about it. Her pnd has all stemmed from the fact she likes to be in control o everything and do what she wants to do, and she doesnt like having to give things up, independence including. I think in some ways thats become almost fashionable to moan about how you cant drink when you want or have to do stuff for your child instead of what you want to do (and I know thats controversial so I apologise if that offends anyone). There is lots of stuff in magazines and on Facebook Ive heard of about mums who want to drink gin and shirk their parental responsibility, and its funny to an extent when its tongue in cheek, but there comes a point when I just think - did these people actually want to be parents? Do they not get what that means? Its like they expect a baby to slot into their life and keep quiet while they socialise, rather than actually being a parent, looking after a tiny human youve created, that is totally dependant on you. Its really pissing me off! She knew the issues from the first time round, she knew what to expect and knew what shed have to give up. She chose to have another baby, but she is not appreciating or enjoying a second of it. She posts literally daily about how the baby wont sleep, how she cant do what she wants, that she wants to go out with her friends, how shes fed up of crying babies, and then shes getting all this praise from her friends for speaking out and how hard it is to give up your independence and how awful it is when theyre babies and itll be fine in a few years. I would kill to give up my independence and have a baby!! I would do anything to have what she has. And I know this resentment is from my jealousy, and Im probably being unkind and nasty, but its so unfair!! I know what shes going through is something I cant understand but she knows what we went through, just weeks ago, and about a month after she gave birth, so youd think she would try and be sensitive or that may put things in perspective.
I dont know whether to delete her from my instagram and try and avoid her and not speak to her irl (which I have done to an extent anyway). The problem is she will know Ive done it, and I think thatll cause tension I dont want. I dont want to have to delete it completely but I guess thats an option.
Am I just being thoughtless and cruel? Has anyone else experienced similar?