Sensative toddlers...

[flower01]

bless her, she sounds so sweet but i can understand that you get frustrated.

Up to about 1 month ago, Willow was painfully shy, she couldnt do anything without me and wasnt good in new places. She has been going to nursery for a year now and since she moved up groups the change has been amazing.

In the past month she has grown confidence and is happy to interact with other children and adults. She now participates in the classes we have been going too since she was a baby lol
We started ballet again this term, we stopped it last year as she wouldnt do anything except hide.

I have found something tho, the more i stay with her and go where she wants me too, the more independance she finds. eg- when in a class she hs to go up to the teacher, to get a sticker or something and wants me to go with her, instead of saying no and trying to get her to go herself, i go with her and over 3 weeks she is more comfortable to go up without me because she knows i am there if needs be. My pushing her before wasnt helping one bit.

Why dont you ask the pre school if you can go in with her for the first few sessions and gradually reduce the time you are there over a few days/weeks? it would make her feel more comfortable and then she isnt just plonked in there and expected to get on with it?
Explain to them how shy she is.
I take it you have explained to her that when people are talking she has to wait until you have finished before she will be acknowleged? that way she knows people arent just ignoring her, bless her.

Is this the same girl who you asked to get carrots and she got upset because she was too shy? i remember a thread about a girl who sounds like yours, i just wanted to cuddle her!

She will grow with confidence hun, it just might take time, shes still only little.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[chubbin]

This post is so reassuring for me.
When JJ feels comfortable, he is a wonderful little boy, smiling, happy and clever - he speaks in sentences!
When he is uncomfortable, ie: at playgroup, or around a lot of people, it can take him ages to 'warm up'. Sometimes he will just cling to me the whole time. He also 'clams up' and wont speak.
Reading this post helps me to acknowledge that I shouldnt get frustrated, and that I should accept JJ's (lovely) personality as it is Sometimes I get so paranoid about it, I wonder if any other mummy friends even like JJ. Really I should be thinking 'who gives a stuff!'. This thread is helping me to do just that, thanks again xx

 

[louandivy]

I can't help you as Ivy is still so young but I just wanted to say that I think Madi sounds like an amazing, sweet little girl

 

[Quartz]

My little girl is exactly the same - we go to classes and groups and the other children just run off whereas mine is glued to me. At the class today the rest of the class were running around doing a song with the teacher and mine was insisting on being carried by me for it.
I have felt a little isolated from my antenatal friends as when we me at the park or at houses theirs are happy to run off but mine wants me to play with her - we have stopped meeting now as I felt neither of us were getting anything out of it - I was feeling caught between her wanting to play with me and my friends wanted to talk. I also felt that a couple were judging me because of it.
We are in the process of starting pre school and it is a very slow process. We get there and I stay for registration (the only mother and there are 10 others) and story and then I leave to her crying (there are 5 members of staff though so she has the attention of one) and then she stays half a session. I have spoken to them though and they say that each time (4 sessions) she is improving and they are getting more non crying times than crying times. But I see all the other children happily playing and wish mine was the same.
The positive side is that she is a very loving creative and bright little girl who likes to tell stories and is a pleasure to be around

 

[karlilay]

bless her, she sounds so sweet but i can understand that you get frustrated.

Up to about 1 month ago, Willow was painfully shy, she couldnt do anything without me and wasnt good in new places. She has been going to nursery for a year now and since she moved up groups the change has been amazing.

In the past month she has grown confidence and is happy to interact with other children and adults. She now participates in the classes we have been going too since she was a baby lol
We started ballet again this term, we stopped it last year as she wouldnt do anything except hide.

I have found something tho, the more i stay with her and go where she wants me too, the more independance she finds. eg- when in a class she hs to go up to the teacher, to get a sticker or something and wants me to go with her, instead of saying no and trying to get her to go herself, i go with her and over 3 weeks she is more comfortable to go up without me because she knows i am there if needs be. My pushing her before wasnt helping one bit.

Why dont you ask the pre school if you can go in with her for the first few sessions and gradually reduce the time you are there over a few days/weeks? it would make her feel more comfortable and then she isnt just plonked in there and expected to get on with it?
Explain to them how shy she is.
I take it you have explained to her that when people are talking she has to wait until you have finished before she will be acknowleged? that way she knows people arent just ignoring her, bless her.

Is this the same girl who you asked to get carrots and she got upset because she was too shy? i remember a thread about a girl who sounds like yours, i just wanted to cuddle her!

She will grow with confidence hun, it just might take time, shes still only little.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I cant beleive you remembered that! Yes it was her. She is better now thankfully, but still so shy.

We have just returned from soft play and she was really good. She played nicely with the other children until a little girl she didnt know wanted to play with her, she followed Madi around everywhere and she got so flusterd and upset and ran to me sobbing that this little girl kept following her everywhere
She cried on and off for 10/15 mins, but she eventually got over it and even played with this little girl, running around and holding hands.

Its hard for me, especially atm, as Zach is hitting the age when he sobs if i move. So alot of the time one of them is crying, but i feel like she improves a bit daily.

Just need to tackle Preschool. There are so many kids and only 2 teachers. I guess they're in ratio though but its hard because i would like someone to take the time so settle her in and bond with her, and if you remove one of them from the situation for some one to one, it leaves the other watching all the children really.

Come Sept, if she is like it she will just have to get used to it, because its not like i can take her out of primary school.

 

[Amy_T]

I'd like to echo what one of the other mum's said - my daughter is 6 now and used to be just like Madi. She would never join in at parties or toddler groups or soft play unless I did, and I would often wish she could be like other children. She started going to nursery at 18 months and loved it after a while and they were brilliant with her, in the end they knew her like I did which we were lucky with. But going to school really brought her confidence up - she is still VERY sensitive and worries about things I really don't think she needs to, breaks down if she upsets someone and panics about people liking her etc. But I think that is just her - your little one will get there eventually. x

 

[Lightworker]

My DD1 is also very sensitive, markedly so, if you observe her amongst her peers. She feels things strongly, and gets upset easily. Sometimes it can be quite frustrating, especially if you are busy looking after another LO or whatever..but everytime I mention it to my mom..this is what she says. "Your DD1 is exactly like you, when you were that age".

We are very similar..almost identical in our sensitivity, and so I have a grown-up's perspective of what it means to be that sensitive. Its not a bad thing, not at all. I know some people say that being that sensitive is the opposite of being confident, and some people think their children lack confidence, when they are really just sensitive souls.

That compassion, sensitivity she has is a quality to be CELEBRATED..think of people like the Dalai Lama, Mother Theresa..these are the qualities that are their backbone. You can try to help her manage her emotions..eg by talking through the upset etc, but don't fret about her being sensitive. Sensitive is good.

 

[karlilay]

My DD1 is also very sensitive, markedly so, if you observe her amongst her peers. She feels things strongly, and gets upset easily. Sometimes it can be quite frustrating, especially if you are busy looking after another LO or whatever..but everytime I mention it to my mom..this is what she says. "Your DD1 is exactly like you, when you were that age".

We are very similar..almost identical in our sensitivity, and so I have a grown-up's perspective of what it means to be that sensitive. Its not a bad thing, not at all. I know some people say that being that sensitive is the opposite of being confident, and some people think their children lack confidence, when they are really just sensitive souls.

That compassion, sensitivity she has is a quality to be CELEBRATED..think of people like the Dalai Lama, Mother Theresa..these are the qualities that are their backbone. You can try to help her manage her emotions..eg by talking through the upset etc, but don't fret about her being sensitive. Sensitive is good.

Lovley post! Thankyou so much!