serious help needed!

[angelpkj]

long complicated story short

babys daddy finished me when i was 5 and half month pregnant
after months of fucking me about,right before i'm due to have my baby he sorts his act out,quits dealing drugs,taking drugs,starts saving money towards baby

basicly turned his life around
my son was born and he was great so i gave it another go believing he'd changed
over time he fell back into his old ways till 2 weeks ago i found out he's been seeing another girl for 6 months
i feel physically sick at the fact he was shaggin her and me while i was preg

i ended it and walked away,no anger no nothin just walked out the door and left it as that
he was meant to have my son the next day and had sorted this with him for over a month so it wasn't last min planned
he decided to cancell last min at 3 am sayin he aint having his son

i rang once i woke up to find out what on earth he was playin at,he was smug,said he's gunna go out instead,and he did it to piss me off but he said he would have him the next day (sunday)

so he went out and took shit loads of drugs

sunday comes and i wait about for him to get in touch,no joy,i txt him at 4;30pm askin what the crack is
he just said he aint havin his son

and i found out it was because he was still awake,taking drugs from the night before

that was it for me,i told him he is no longer allowed to see my son till he sorts his life out which he never will

so right now its all very horrible,he's going round telling people im stopping him seein his son cause he has a new gf,he's leaving all the details of drugs etc out ha typical so i look like big bad ex gf with jealous issues

FOB also has a 6 yr old daughter and i have seen what kind of parent he is to her,so it doesnt get better in time,iv seen his daughter ask him "why dont u see me anymore dadddy do u not love me"

because for weeks on end he would cancel to go take drugs

i dont want this for my son!i dont want him to havea druggie father!!

i need help advice anything

FOB is on the birth certificate my biggest regret ever
but i do not want him seeing his son,i doubt he will go to court and spend money to fight for his son when he moans about buying a pack of nappys

legally is there anything i can do
after all this is a man who takes and sells drugs he is not fit enough to be around and looking after a baby

 

[whoops]

I haven't been in the same situation, but if I were you, I would document everything. Every broken promise, every time you know he's taken drugs or dealt drugs, every abusive message to you.

If he wants to bring you to court for access, then you'll have months of evidence collected.

Is he paying maintenance? I'd go through CSA rather than a private arrangment, if you can then at least you're not the one who has to chase him if he misses a payment.

 

[angelpkj]

i;ve not gone to csa as hes a dole bum anyway
plus if it went court i could say he doesnt even pay for his son...

thats whats going on in my head so far lol

 

[jocelynmarie]

Even though he won't fight for him in court, can you go to the courts and ask for sole custody with no visitation???

It might be best to cover yourself like that. I'm not sure in the UK, but being an unwed mother here in the US, the father has no legal rights to visitation with out a court order, even if they are on the birth certificate.

 

[Rhio92]

Hope you get the prick sorted hun x

 

[purpledahlia]

Just stop him seeing you. etc. If he takes you to court to see his son then you have a case as hes on drugs so he wouldnt get unsupervised visits. I dont know details though. Try CAB

 

[angelpkj]

thanks everyone
just gunna sit tight and wait for him to go court which i doubt he will :/

i just don't know what happens with the drug thing cause them contact centres they have....even smack heads etc still get see their kids at them

 

[Kayles1/8/08]

3 letters CSA!! ******* x

 

[loveangel]

feel very bad to think about u