Seriously....after all we went through

[emaritska]

My husband decided to confess last night that he cheated on me when I was about 7weeks pregnant. I actually feel heartbroken. He went away last year on work commitment, got wasted and slept with a stranger from the conference....unprotected. *******.

Can't believe he would do this to me, our son and bump at the time. ESP to put mine and bumps health at risk. I cannot talk today from all the screaming I did last night, to be honest today I feel numb. He says it was one off, he gt wasted, slept with her passed out and woke up realised what he had done. Promises never to do it again but how can I trust him? God I don't even know what to write .........

 

[AP]

Only you know how you can deal with it all, whether you can forgive or not. It's never black and white. Did he just suddenly confess out of the blue?

 

[emaritska]

Hi Hun, thanks for responding. Yes he has been little withdrawn and I was just reassuring him that he could talk to me anytime etc.....when he started crying and confessed. Still in shock.

 

[AP]

I am so sorry this happened. It is devastating.
His confession shows some remorse however

You'll be feeling hurt and betrayed and he must allow you time and space that you need to think things through.

 

[FeistyFemme]

Sorry to hear that. But I would like to say that, he was honest to you. And even God forgive for the first fault.

 

[Sam182]

I'm so sorry to hear that but he did what a lot of men wouldn't - confessed! He is showing remorse for what he has done so you have to think whether you can forgive him.

 

[emaritska]

Thanks ladies....it's been tough recently but think I'm finally getting my head round it. I am grateful he confessed, as you said, it's shows remorse, ESP as I don't know her and would likely never have found out.....guess that counts for something.

I didn't kick him out...mainly because of the boys ...so we have been carrying on as normal..discussing bits when we can. For now this seems to be the way forward, I really don't want to split our family up and he does seem genuinely sorry....however I am unsure if I will ever fully trust him again. I surprisingly haven't felt paranoid, felt need to check phone/email etc...so that's good :/

Men eh?

 

[kiki04]

Oh honey I am so sorry... I will say this... I used to always think women were weak to go back to a cheating scumbag asshole. Then... my husband did it. We were already at the worse point of our marriage... hanging on by a thread and he needed affection and this stupid bitch happened to be right there and pushed (knwoing he was married) at his most vulnerable time. We ended up splitting up and were apart for 1.5 years. I wanted my family back. I then and ONLY THEN learned it takes one HELL of a strong person to forgive and MOVE FORWARD...never forget.... but accept and start over. I cant say I trust him yet... as I am weary about certain things.. however, he now knows what he stands to lose... and I know... I can survive just fine without him as I did it with 3 kids for 1.5 years. If you feel he truely made a msitake and feels regret for what he did... and you feel strong enough to endure the pain (as it will hurt for awhile) and he needs to understand you will have EVERY right to second guess or question things WHENEVER you need.... I say you can make it work... but only you know what you are capable of

 

[emaritska]

Oh honey I am so sorry... I will say this... I used to always think women were weak to go back to a cheating scumbag asshole. Then... my husband did it. We were already at the worse point of our marriage... hanging on by a thread and he needed affection and this stupid bitch happened to be right there and pushed (knwoing he was married) at his most vulnerable time. We ended up splitting up and were apart for 1.5 years. I wanted my family back. I then and ONLY THEN learned it takes one HELL of a strong person to forgive and MOVE FORWARD...never forget.... but accept and start over. I cant say I trust him yet... as I am weary about certain things.. however, he now knows what he stands to lose... and I know... I can survive just fine without him as I did it with 3 kids for 1.5 years. If you feel he truely made a msitake and feels regret for what he did... and you feel strong enough to endure the pain (as it will hurt for awhile) and he needs to understand you will have EVERY right to second guess or question things WHENEVER you need.... I say you can make it work... but only you know what you are capable of

This means a lot to me so thank you!!! I too thought women who forgave/went back were weak and always said id never do it...but it's different when it happens :/ xxxx

 

[Foogirl]

I'm still wondering why the confession came out of the blue. You say he was withdrawn etc, but not since it happened, just quite recently.

Before I was anywhere near to forgiving, I'd be looking for the reason behind the confession.