Seriously cnt take much mre!!!

[africaqueen]

Hi everyone. I have been offline due to connection issues but im back now thank god cos rly missed reading and posting on here and being with women who knw wot im going thru.

Well i am really at the end of my rope today. Firstly a few wks ago i had to deal with the birth of DH's friends baby boy and then 4 days ago a old school friend of mine had her 7th child(yep 7th and she is 29, same age as me) and then DH gets hme from work before and tells me that his best friends wife is pregnant with TWINS! She is due in Oct. I am so so sad. What the hell did i ever do to deserve all this in one wk?? i am only human. How much mre news about other women getting pregnant can i hear about?? then DH says "we will have to go and see them soon". I really snapped and told him enough is enough. One baby ok, 2, i just about coped but a women pregnant with twins that are due the mth after our baby would of been due???? no its too much for me.
We should be awaiting the arrival of our baby in sep and all happy parents together but no. I am 29, still childless and one tube missing along with all my hopes and dreams for that much longed for baby.
I feel so desperate to be pregnant again its unreal. i cry everyday and i ache mre and mre to be a mum. why must i endure everyone of our friends being pregnant and having babies and i feel such deep sadness that it should be me? oh god i cnt cope with all this. sorry for long wallowing post but my heart is literally breaking nowadays x

 

[heart tree]

Oh Africaqueen!!! What a horrible week! That is far too much to endure. I've definitely had weeks like that and I wonder why I'm getting tested. Is it to prove that we're super strong? Is it a cruel trick by the universe? Is it just coincidence? Whatever it is, it completely SUCKS! GRRRRR!!!

Listen lady, you don't have to go visit them. Establish your boundaries. It is super important to protect yourself. Only visit when you are ready. Right now is too soon. When you hit your due date, you are most likely going to be very sad. No need to surround yourself with pregnant women and newborns during that time. Have DH take you out to dinner, get a massage, light a candle for your baby, anything that will give you some comfort.

Sending you lots of cyber hugs

And lots and lots of baby dust!

 

[NatoPMT]

I think hearty is right, i think that you have to think of yourself first, and any friend would understand exactly whats going on for you if you arent able to visit.

i cry everyday and i ache mre and mre to be a mum. why must i endure everyone of our friends being pregnant and having babies and i feel such deep sadness that it should be me? oh god i cnt cope with all this.

Have you thought about getting some counselling? This is too much to shoulder alone

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Hi hun i agree with above i have sought a miscarriage counciller and it has helped me greatly, it might be something worth looking into

That it alot to deal with in 1 week after all you've been throught, and you need to think off yourself and i wouldnt go visitng those people so dont. Your in incredible pain and you need to think about yourself and take care of number one, get some ben&jerrys, some good films, a nice fluffy blanket, and relax for a while

my thoughts are with you babe x

 

[africaqueen]

I think hearty is right, i think that you have to think of yourself first, and any friend would understand exactly whats going on for you if you arent able to visit.

i cry everyday and i ache mre and mre to be a mum. why must i endure everyone of our friends being pregnant and having babies and i feel such deep sadness that it should be me? oh god i cnt cope with all this.

Have you thought about getting some counselling? This is too much to shoulder alone

I have thought about seeing a counseller but then changed my mind as the only thing that will cure my heartache is being pregnant again and holding my baby and nobody can make that happen i have been ttc so long now. almost 6yrs in total and its getting to the point of unbearable. I just thank god i have all u ladies here for support or i would go insane. xxx

 

[shaerichelle]

I am so sorry that you are enduring so much pain. I think you will be able to go visit, when the time is right for you. Right now its a little difficult.

I hope you get your bfp soon.

 

[NatoPMT]

I think hearty is right, i think that you have to think of yourself first, and any friend would understand exactly whats going on for you if you arent able to visit.

i cry everyday and i ache mre and mre to be a mum. why must i endure everyone of our friends being pregnant and having babies and i feel such deep sadness that it should be me? oh god i cnt cope with all this.

Have you thought about getting some counselling? This is too much to shoulder alone

I have thought about seeing a counseller but then changed my mind as the only thing that will cure my heartache is being pregnant again and holding my baby and nobody can make that happen i have been ttc so long now. almost 6yrs in total and its getting to the point of unbearable. I just thank god i have all u ladies here for support or i would go insane. xxx

I understand, you know yourself best and you know if it will help, you just sound so in pain. The only extra thing i can add is that a counsellor can help you find ways of coping with the pain, they cant take it away for you

6 years is a very long time, i admire your ability to cope as best you can, im so sorry its like this, its just not fair x

 

[kstan]

AfricaQueen - so sorry yr feeling down hun. I know we were due around same time and things have just hit me really hard too lately! I asked for counselling and the docs just gave me a no for the womens hosp! I knw how you feel - Ive had 4 people since my MC announce their pregnancies - all really close to me too so i feel yr pain! Im sure the womens have a mc support group tho - would u consider something like that?

 

[africaqueen]

Kstan- my dr did offer counselling but there are no support groups around here. I call this forum my support group
I am feeling a tiny bit better today. Keep just hoping and praying that i get pregnant again before my edd though or it is going to be even mre torturous I am around 12dpo today and just did a hpt and got a BFN which i expected but i just prayed by miracle my one tube would of been a super one an got me pg first mth back trying... stupid huh?

Glad i have women here to talk to and who knw how i feel, although i wish none of us knew this pain xxx

 

[redhead31]

Kstan- my dr did offer counselling but there are no support groups around here. I call this forum my support group
I am feeling a tiny bit better today. Keep just hoping and praying that i get pregnant again before my edd though or it is going to be even mre torturous I am around 12dpo today and just did a hpt and got a BFN which i expected but i just prayed by miracle my one tube would of been a super one an got me pg first mth back trying... stupid huh?

Glad i have women here to talk to and who knw how i feel, although i wish none of us knew this pain xxx

Hey Africaqueen, I've done a bit of hunting and think I've found a support group in Liverpool for you. Here are the details:

Liverpool (Women's Hospital) Miscarriage Support Group
A small, friendly informal group where you can meet with others who have had the same experience, in a safe environment. No appointment necessary.
Meetings are held on the first Thursday of every month at the Liverpool Women's Hospital at 7.30pm in the conservatory on the ground floor.
Contact: Eileen Ryan

I also suffered an ectopic and have been left with one tube and it is hard, just praying the one tube will get you that baby. When one of my friends, who herself had suffered two miscarriages, told me she was pregnant I told her I was very pleased for her but also sad for myself then made my excuses and left quickly. Now my friends have told me she is really annoyed that I wasn't more happy for her. I tell you, feeling low that you are not pregnant is bad, but knowing that someone is annoyed at you because you feel that way is even worse. You don't have to go and see your friend who has had the baby but why don't you send her a card or a present, just so she doesn't think you don't care. Also, don't lose your hopes and dreams because of your ectopic, mine was 18 months ago and I'm still hopeful that things will turn out ok even if I do have to eventually go through IVF. Good luck and fingers crossed everything works out for you xx

 

[moochacha]

I'm soooo sorry for your loss hun I really am. Sometimes I feel like a spiteful woman because in 2.5 years I've had 4 losses one surprise bfp which I MC'ed then two more after I had a stillborn. In the last two years my SIL has had two babies, my other SIL is 32 weeks pregnant and my sister had a baby at the start of the year and now my other sister is 6 weeks pregnant with her 3rd. Arrg someone shoot me...

I think I'm spiteful because believe it or not I haven't been to see any of the babies, I refuse to go to any birthday parties I know the babies will be there, DH and I have gone away for the last two Christmases etc.

I really hope you get your bfp soon and it fill your heart with happiness.

 

[africaqueen]

Kstan- my dr did offer counselling but there are no support groups around here. I call this forum my support group
I am feeling a tiny bit better today. Keep just hoping and praying that i get pregnant again before my edd though or it is going to be even mre torturous I am around 12dpo today and just did a hpt and got a BFN which i expected but i just prayed by miracle my one tube would of been a super one an got me pg first mth back trying... stupid huh?

Glad i have women here to talk to and who knw how i feel, although i wish none of us knew this pain xxx

Hey Africaqueen, I've done a bit of hunting and think I've found a support group in Liverpool for you. Here are the details:

Liverpool (Women's Hospital) Miscarriage Support Group
A small, friendly informal group where you can meet with others who have had the same experience, in a safe environment. No appointment necessary.
Meetings are held on the first Thursday of every month at the Liverpool Women's Hospital at 7.30pm in the conservatory on the ground floor.
Contact: Eileen Ryan

I also suffered an ectopic and have been left with one tube and it is hard, just praying the one tube will get you that baby. When one of my friends, who herself had suffered two miscarriages, told me she was pregnant I told her I was very pleased for her but also sad for myself then made my excuses and left quickly. Now my friends have told me she is really annoyed that I wasn't more happy for her. I tell you, feeling low that you are not pregnant is bad, but knowing that someone is annoyed at you because you feel that way is even worse. You don't have to go and see your friend who has had the baby but why don't you send her a card or a present, just so she doesn't think you don't care. Also, don't lose your hopes and dreams because of your ectopic, mine was 18 months ago and I'm still hopeful that things will turn out ok even if I do have to eventually go through IVF. Good luck and fingers crossed everything works out for you xx

Thank u so much for taking the time to find that for me. it means a lot ;-)
I may well try and make that group as although counselling is not for me, i think being with other women who feel the same would help me cope better. Its like what u said... being left with one tube means that everything relies on that 1 tube to have our child... we have been told by our dr we are entitled to 3 attempts at IVF on the NHS if i have not fallen pregnant again in a yrs time they will refer us for treatment but the waiting list is so long we would probs pay for 1 cycle ourselves before that. pray it dosent come to that though... for both of us xxx

 

[africaqueen]

I'm soooo sorry for your loss hun I really am. Sometimes I feel like a spiteful woman because in 2.5 years I've had 4 losses one surprise bfp which I MC'ed then two more after I had a stillborn. In the last two years my SIL has had two babies, my other SIL is 32 weeks pregnant and my sister had a baby at the start of the year and now my other sister is 6 weeks pregnant with her 3rd. Arrg someone shoot me...

I think I'm spiteful because believe it or not I haven't been to see any of the babies, I refuse to go to any birthday parties I know the babies will be there, DH and I have gone away for the last two Christmases etc.

I really hope you get your bfp soon and it fill your heart with happiness.

Oh i am so so sorry for your losses i cannot imagine how u can cope with all that heartache. i am devastated enough with my one loss... i do go and vist babies of friends etc but i wnt be able to handle it around my would of been edd cos it will be too much i hope and pray we get our bfps soon and this terrible feeling of emptiness finally goes away xxx