Sex at 7 weeks postpartum

[jessmke]

I am 7 weeks postpartum and last night hubby and I attempted sex for the first time since the birth. I had a very complicated second degree tear (took them over an hour to stitch me up) but it has healed completely and I had no complications with the tear after the birth. My doc gave me the go ahead to have sex at my 6 week appointment. Well I have to say sex was simply not possible, it felt as though my vagina wasn't big enough and it was very painful when hubby tried to enter me. We did lots of foreplay, I had an orgasm before he attempted to enter me, and we went slow and used tons of lube, but I just felt like my vagina was way too small and it was very painful. Needless to say we abandoned the attempt. Is this normal? How do we get past this? Do I just have to grin and bear it so he can 'stretch' me out? Sorry for the gory details but I am just so tired of all of this, I just want my body to be my body again!

 

[MindUtopia]

Oh gosh, hun, I think just give it some more time. I also had a 2nd degree tear and though all was technically healed and fine, there was absolutely no way in heck I could have started having sex again at 7 weeks. It was healed, but things definitely still just felt a bit off down there and a bit like everything and been shifted around and wasn't quite in the right place. I would give it another month or so and try again. Some of it may also be psychological. It's a huge physical and emotional change and you think of your body differently after birth, especially in those early weeks postnatally. Even if you don't realise you're nervous, you may be nervous, and feeling anxious will definitely make your muscles down there contract and will make penetration difficult. We were actually 7 months pp before we attempted it. I felt totally fine before then, but I was just exhausted and my mind was elsewhere (also co-sleeping and getting up multiple times a night). I don't think either of us could have really been enthusiastic before then. When we did do it again, it was great, but I think give it some more time and see how you feel next month. Also, I found a bit of wine helped to take some of the edge off it the first time, which we both definitely needed.

 

[SpringCrane]

I had a second degree tear, and our first few times were really uncomfortable. We did it at 4 weeks (it was my birthday and it had been a long time, so I was determined!). I did not enjoy it. It was painful. We tried again a week or so later and it was less painful but still not pleasant. We tried with a week break a few more times before it was no longer painful. I'll likely wait longer this time. We won't have gone as long without before delivery this time, so I think I'll be more inclined to wait it out.

You can either wait or just keep trying, knowing it might hurt for a few more times. Depends on how motivated you are ;-) It sounds like you went about it the right way, so just hang in there!

 

[Shandelion]

I had a small tear, and had been told six weeks is fine for healing. I don't know where they get that! It was quite a while before sex or anything else didn't hurt. Both inside and the exterior, it simply took forever to heal.

 

[slammerkin]

I had two second degree tears internally, and to be honest, it was simply too painful until nearly 9 months PP. We first tried at I think 11 weeks with no success. Tried a few more times over the following months, but just couldn't do it. If you BF that will also make you super dry and make your tissues thin and sensitive. Things were still kind of ehhh until about 12/13 months PP when I finally turned a corner and things were pretty much back to normal.

Take your time and be gentle with yourself. You'll get there eventually, but it may take a lot longer than you hoped.

Also I highly recommend a high quality silicone lube. Water-based was NOT gonna cut it. Silicone is super slippery and doesn't dry out like water-based lubes. Slather that stuff on generously!