Sex with 2nd degree tear - is it too soon? Nervous! (Very tmi lol)

[MoonLove]

I had my son nearly 4 weeks ago and had a natural labour and got a 2nd degree tear from my perineum right up to my labia. It has healed nicely and many of the stitches came out a week and a half ago, when i wiped, on the toilet paper.

I just wondered, do you think if i was to have sex now at 4 weeks PP, it would risk tearing the tear back open? My labia has healed perfectly and i can hardly see it, but you can see the big split down my perineum. I fear sex would just split that right open!


We'e been 'sexual' everyday for the past two weeks - we just can't have sex and it's driving me insane! I am waiting on my 6 week checkup at the doctors, i figure six weeks is a good amount of time to wait for it to all heal, but looking online, many women say 'until you feel ready' - i FEEL ready and my bits are looking good - but obviously i'm scared to rip the tear right open again! It looks like it would just split right open and it makes me cringe to think about!


In all honestly, i'll most likely wait til 6 weeks, i'd resent having to get restitched if anything bad did happen

Just wondered what your experiences are with 2nd degree tears & sex. Mine hurt sosososo much in the first couple weeks, and while it is still slightly tender in the area surrounding the perineum, it's feeling so much better than it was and i am happy with how it is healing. Arghh, slowest 6 weeks EVER!

Also! Did you wait for the bleeding to stop? Mine is very light, I keep thinking its totally stopped but small amounts keep coming!

 

[smileyfaces]

I would say that as long as he is gentle then you would be fine? I had a 2nd degree tear and had sex at about 6 weeks PP from what I remember and it was all fine

 

[rebeccalouise]

I'd say you'll be fine, if he is gentle, and maybe use some lube? I had sex around 4 weeks after giving birth to my little girl, I didn't think I would so early tbh - but to my surprise it didn't hurt! We used loads of lube though, and he was gentle X

 

[Mummy May]

I say go for it! Xx

 

[lovelylaura]

You'll be fine! just be gentle and get lube x

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd go for it . We tried at 5 weeks pp after a 3rd degree tear, it hurt so we stopped. Tried again at 6 weeks and it didn't hurt. Just go gently and if it hurts stop.

 

[xQuinnx]

This might be tmi!
I had a 2nd degree tear and had sex at 5 weeks post partum I think? I asked the health visitor and she said it's when you're ready and to use lots of lube and take it slow lol. It did feel strange, lots if pressure where I tore and hurt a little at the beginning but was fine. It did take about 3-4 months for it to be completely normal when having sex...that strange pressure sensation was there for a minute or two when starting if that makes sense but then it went.

 

[MoonLove]

Thank you for the replies! Ahhhh, my husband says he wants to wait as it isn't worth risking splitting the wound open and because of how upset i was with the pain of it healing at the start, he doesn't want to cause any unnecessary pain now that it's all healing nicely.

I think if my bleeding had totally stopped i'd be 100% wanting to do it, but i heard you should wait for that to stop first anyway. My husband is being considerate i know, i think hes nervous too but argh, the waiting is so tedious!

 

[Topanga053]

Hey,

I see your DH decided to wait, but I just wanted to add that I had a second degree tear as well and I think we DTD 3 weeks PP with no lube, no tearing, and no pain. I was really shocked that it felt almost completely normal that soon.