Sharing for the first time...

[HavnFaith2011]

Hello,

I too just went thru this on Jan 18 we were 4 days shy of being 17 wks and having a scan to find the gender of our lil Angel. The ultrasound tech started the scan as she tried to look for the gender we realized she was having a hard time (baby was turned away) so she looked at us and said " I'm gonna go get candy and see if we can get the baby to move" and told me to lay on my side. The most horrible feeling came over me and I looked at my husband and told him "there isnt a heartbeat" he said "yes there is I just saw it moving" . As soon as he finished his sentence the tech walked back in pale as ghost and started the scan again this time measuring the baby. I looked at her and said "no candy huh" she said "no I couldn't find any " right then I knew and asked a question I pray I never have to ask again "There isnt a heartbeat is there" she looked at me with tears in her eyes and shuck her head no..... it hit me like a ton of bricks as my husband held me in his arms and cryed with me my nurse and doctor walked in just as much in shock. My nurse Julie (who is an angel)could barely speak she followed be to the bathroom where she held me and rubbed my head as all the shock had made sick! She promised right then she would do everything to find out what happened. They scheduled me that following thursday for an dne and Julie promised she would stay with me thru the surgery and that they would make it where I didnt remember anything and that she did...That night my husband went home and all I can remember is sitting in the shower histarically crying as my husband set beside the shower telling me he was right there with me and it was gonna be ok.

My surgery was at 11am that morning and I just remember getting there and feeling like I dnt want to do this, maybe they made a mistake as I was already quite round and at 12 weeks we had had a scan and the baby had a strong heartbeat of 198 and was steadly moving. But they gave me meds to calm me down and then I fell asleep.... they did everything they promised I didnt remember anything after that point. The one thing I had asked Julie was if they could tell I really want to know what the baby was bc we had such and overwhelming feeling it was a girl.... unfortunetly they could not tell as the baby only measured about 12 1/2 wks. We requested all the chromosome tests on the baby to try and determine the cause. It was a decision im so glad we made... bc yesterday we finally got the phone call we were waiting for from Julie that the test showed exactly what we had thought we had made a LIL Girl (Faith)! We also find out that the baby had Down Syndrome and her lil heart just could not pump enough blood for her to carry on. As hard as this was to hear it was somewhat comforting to know she was in no pain and we had an explanation which I know alot of people dnt get.... we have been reassured that this was nothing we caused and we are perfectly able to try and have a healthly baby and will began trying after our first cycle.

This is the first time I have shared my story... so im sorry it is so lengthly but I hope my story can help someone else in knowing they are not alone

Good Luck Ladies!

 

[spellfairy]

Iam so sorry to hear of your loss! such a sad story. I lost my boy on 13 jan i was shy of 19 weeks and its so hard xxxxxxxxxx

You wil have your baby! xoxox

 

[Niamh22]

oh i'm so sorry for your loss, x

 

[xSamanthax]

The one thing I had asked Julie was if they could tell I really want to know what the baby was bc we had such and overwhelming feeling it was a girl.... unfortunetly they could not tell as the baby only measured about 12 1/2 wks. We requested all the chromosome tests on the baby to try and determine the cause. It was a decision im so glad we made... bc yesterday we finally got the phone call we were waiting for from Julie that the test showed exactly what we had thought we had made a LIL Girl (Faith)! We also find out that the baby had Down Syndrome and her lil heart just could not pump enough blood for her to carry on. As hard as this was to hear it was somewhat comforting to know she was in no pain and we had an explanation which I know alot of people dnt get.... we have been reassured that this was nothing we caused and we are perfectly able to try and have a healthly baby and will began trying after our first cycle.

This is the first time I have shared my story... so im sorry it is so lengthly but I hope my story can help someone else in knowing they are not alone

Good Luck Ladies!

Aww hun i am so sorry for your loss, that must of been so hard to go through I can see how it would be somewhat comforting to know what happened, i lost my Baby Angel at 9 weeks and am always asking myself why? I keep telling myself that my baby couldn't of survived and at least they are not in any pain now and not struggling to survive which does help.

 

[bluesky]

Im so sorry for your loss

 

[bellaxgee]

i am so sorry for all of your losses xx

 

[truthbtold]

Spellfairy & Havinfaith2011 we are all in the same boat. It is a hard journey some mornings I still wake up angry, hurt and confused. Time will heal our wounds

 

[LiSa2010]

I am so sorry for your loss sweety...
there are no words that i can say right now that will make you feel better but wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. praying that you will hold your forever baby soon.

lots of your way!!

 

[Spoomie]

Hi Havnfaith 2011

I am so sorry for your loss, thanks for sharing your story. You have come to the right place, we all know that the pain is immense and that you will experience a spectrum of emotions in the coming months. It is good that you can take comfort from knowing how your little girl lost her way, I miscarried at 12 weeks and am constantly wondering what happened to my precious baby, why they didn't make it, so I can imagine that this will really help you. However, just because there was something wrong with her, don't feel that you have to agree with people offering 'sympathy and advice' by saying it was for the best. I hate that line. For me, the best would've been a healthy baby, but the second best would've been a slightly less than perfect baby who we would still have loved and made the best possible life for, regardless of their disability, the second best was NOT to lose my baby without ever having known them.

Thinking of you xx

 

[Lucia]

I am so sorry to read about your little girl. What a horribly sad story. I hope that you can move on - always remembering your precious little one - and go on to have a H&H pregnancy really soon.