She's getting worse, don't know what to do! - **UPDATE - it's a mess :( *

[charlie07]

Gabbi is a wonderful little girl, she feeds well, she sleeps through the night, she's active and alert, she never cries (but is the queen of whingeing), but we have a problem and it's getting worse!

We feed her between 6.15pm and 6.45pm, depending on the feeds during the day. We then put her to bed between 7 and 7.30, depending on burping, etc (she had reflux so we keep her up right for 20 - 30 mins). She sometimes falls asleep on my shoulder, even though she does this during the day, we have no problems during the day!

If she falls asleep, 5 - 10 mins after going in her bed, she wakes crying. She cries and cries, eventually we give in a get her up, she thinks this is hilarious. BUT after a while she fights sleep, gets over tired, cries and will finally fall asleep between 8.30 - 9.15! We have tried leaving her but she doesn't cry herself to sleep. Last night, oh last night, was the worst ever. She was crying so much she was coughing and choking and almost threw up! We got her up and she continued to cry, fighting us and kicking legs and thrashing her arms. By this time she is over tired and no amount of cuddles settled her. Eventually I sat on the chair next to the TV, she calmed down and lay on my lap watching the tv, eyes half closed. After about 1/2 hour she fell asleep, flat out, put her in her cot, did not stir and then of course I had to wake her 3/4 hour later to feed her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have no problem with the last feed and her going to bed, no problems at all!

It really upsets me that she is so upset, but I am exhausted by this time and I really don't know what to do!

I know we have probably brought this on ourselves, giving in to her cries and getting her up, but does anyone have any advice? A few times only, we have left her and she's gone to sleep, but last night, I don't want her so upset, it was awful. Can anyone help???

 

[vicky]

have u tried the control crying hun? so if she starts to cry leave her 5 mins go in, (don't pick her up unless she in distressed) pat her back go sssshhh be really quiet dont turn anything on. then leave again before she is asleep again just make sure she is settled. then if she starts crying again leave her 10 mins so on this could take at least a week to do hun a good hour and half with the control crying.


i hope this helps

 

[cupcake]

how about changing her bedtime to slightly later, like to 8:30 ? and why are you waking her to feed her?

 

[charlie07]

have u tried the control crying hun? so if she starts to cry leave her 5 mins go in, (don't pick her up unless she in distressed) pat her back go sssshhh be really quiet dont turn anything on. then leave again before she is asleep again just make sure she is settled. then if she starts crying again leave her 10 mins so on this could take at least a week to do hun a good hour and half with the control crying.
i hope this helps

I have tried just going in, trying to calm her, it has worked but only a couple of times. I put my face very close to hers, shushing until she calms, stroking the side of her head (this worked when she was newborn), but more often than not, she carries on crying until we pick her up.
I've also tried music and lights specifically for bedtime. I will keep trying, thanks for the help.

cupcake

how about changing her bedtime to slightly later, like to 8:30 ? and why are you waking her to feed her?

Tried that already, tried earlier and later. I wake her for her last feed, she always takes the full lot. I don't want her waking in the night, she is in a good routine except for the evening crying. I followed a book which helped me get her into her own routine (not the one in the book), so she has 5 feeds in total between 7am and 10pm.

She's in bed now, 1 hour sleep before feed, she also went down fine this morning for a nap. I wonder if it;s because during the day she can play in her cot, look around (she's nosey lol) but at night it's dark. We don't have curtains, only blinds, we can't afford anything new for this house as we are building a new one and all our money is there! I tried putting up a sheet at the window but it still doesn't make the room totally dark. Saying that, it's not totally dark at night either!

Thanks for you advice, got to go, I can feel a migraine coming on, best get it gone before she wakes!

 

[ryder]

Personally, I would not pick her up or take her away from her bed or room after bedtime. Instead, leave her in her crib and try to comfort her while she is laying there. It MAY be difficult until she learns that she it is bedtime and she isn't getting up.

Can you change your feeding times? My baby has reflux too... I will just tell you what we do, which I found to work because if she had a bottle after going to bed, she ended up with reflux pain. She is now in bed from 8-6:30-7:30 am without a feed and without waking.

Jasmine gets a bowl of rice cereal and veggie or fruit at about 5:30. After this she has a play while I eat and then I do her bath and story or whatever... This takes us to about 7:00pm... So she is changed and I put her bedtime blanky on, and we sit and relax and watch tv... Sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she just stays awake with me...

At 8pm I give her her last bottle, whether she is awake or asleep, I dont wake her, I dream feed her. The reason I hold her until 8pm is because I feel that if I were to put her in bed and pick her up again it would disturb her sleep...

She will go down after her 8pm bottle whether she is awake or asleep. Once she is down, she is down and doesn't get up until morning.

Have you started giving cereal? I found cereal in the evening to really help alot too... When she has it at 5:30 its leaving her with only 1 more bottle/meal and I think this helps because the cereal stays down more so there isn't as much fluid if you know what I mean.

 

[charlie07]

At the moment, her feeds are as follows, but I am trying to change it as I have just introduced baby rice, still in early stages so she's not taking much.

180 ml = just less than 6 1/2 oz
210 ml = just less than 7 1/2 oz

7am - 180 ml formula plus 1 or 2 teaspoons of baby rice
10.45am - 180/210 ml formula, 1 or 2 teaspoons baby rice
2.30pm - 180 ml formula
6/6.15pm - 180 ml (sometimes as late as 6.30, depends on how Gabbi is)
9.45/10pm - 180 ml

After doing much research on both this forum (other mother's experiences can tell you a lot) and from books, a baby Gabbi's age should be on 5 feeds a day, also the formula tin says 5 feeds and after finding the best ways to deal with her reflux, I found leaving at least 3 1/2 hours in between feeds the best (it takes 3 1/2 hours for formula to be digested and 3 hours for Breast milk).

I could look at increasing feeds to compensate for her only having 4 feeds instead of 5 but sometimes she doesn't take a full bottle, so then she would be way down with her daily intake.

Like I said, the last feed we have no problem with at all, this in fact is the best feed, she eats, she goes to bed and wakes at 6.45am, sometimes I even wake her. And before you say let her sleep, I have to wake this early so I fit in 5 feeds nicely.

I am going to go through all your comments and print them out, easy reference for me

Thanks again girls

 

[ryder]

Goodluck! Jasmine has about 4-6 oz every 2.5 hours. But she is a month younger.

 

[jax]

I follow pretty much the same routine and I dont think I could reduce the number of bottles Max takes and give him more each feed because he eats until he is full each time - some bottles he'll finish, others he wont. As a strategy for the crying could you put her to bed and then if she starts cryign leave her for 5 minutes or so to see if she can self settle herself and if not go in and shh/pat/caress her for 2 minutes and then stop leave for 2, go back in for 2 out for 3, in for 2 out for 4 and so on...that way she knows your there but she also can see it's not awake time - hopefully that should stop her getting herself into a state? I personally wouldn't pick her up or talk to her just calm her. It might take a few nights even a week to get her back into her routine but it'll be worth it in the long run. We had to do this with Max for his lunchtime sleep, he'd wake after 15 minutes and scream blue murder but still be exhausted if I got him up.
Good luck! x

 

[charlie07]

Thanks all for your advice, I really appreciate it.

I am going to try and suss out a routine change for tomorrow, to see if I can get her last feed earlier, maybe trying to feed earlier each feed so the night feed is earlier or trying to make each feed bigger and only giving 4, but to be honest, I don't think this will work as I can't guarantee her taking more each feed so then she would have her routine all messed up.
'
I know it will be easier to do this once she's on more solids, so I am taking all your advice and compiling an experimental few days/nights. Fingers crossed.

She's been fab today though, now got batteries for her Bright Starts All around thingy migiggy (can't remember the name) so she can now play the piano (not good when you've just had a migraine!!!), but she's had 2 good sleeps, eaten all food, let's hope tonight will be just as good.

Thanks again x

 

[ryder]

Will she have smaller, more frequent feeds in the day? That is what was advised to me for reflux... At this age they digest things easier and quicker.

Hope it works out for you!

 

[charlie07]

I am just trying to suss it out. I may try the same amount but instead of going 3 3/4 to 4 hours, I will try 3 1/2 hours in between, which would then be:

7 am
10.30 am
2 pm
5.30 pm
9 pm

Watch this space!

 

[ryder]

good luck!

 

[charlie07]

Well it's started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fed her at 6.35 pm, she fell asleep on my shoulder for about 15 mins until 7.15pm at which point I was about to put her in bed when she woke herself up, it's like she is a mind reader!!!!

So then she's smiling at me, I try to ignore her, but she keeps smiling. I then take her to her bed and straight away we have crying. She's crying now, she's been crying for 40 mins, I go in every 5 mins to just try and calm her, I have not picked her up (it's killing me!) but it's not calming her at all. I have now put on her bedtime song lion, I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to hold her close and make everything ok OH is not in from work yet so it's even harder. There's nothing worse than feeling those little tears rolling down her cheek

 

[charlie07]

Well what a complete and utter C**K UP

Well the day yesterday started ok, fed her at 7, she fell asleep for her nap at 9.15 till 10.15 Fed her at 10.35 but didn't take a full feed, so 3 1/2 hours is too soon! She then fell asleep for 1 1/4 hours. Fed her at 2.45 because she wouldn't take it sooner so she went 4 1/4 hours. Full feed eventually. Then she asleep AGAIN for 1 1/4 hours, so between 7 and 7 she slept for 3 1/2 hours!!! The day was slowly going bad.

Fed her at 6.15 because she was moaning so she went 3 1/2 hours and had full feed, but she then fell asleep at 6.35!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh joy, was she finally going to sleep no problem in the evening??? Yep , I woke her at 9.50 for her 10pm feed, I gave a little less as trying to reduce the amount slowly so when the feed is finally dropped and she is on solids, it's been a gradual process.

So then it went from great to soooooo bad.


SHE WOKE AT 3AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's slept through for over 1 1/2 months, I brought this on myself I finally got up with her at 3.30, gave her some water, she fell asleep at 4.20am till 5.20 am. Did not give her any food until 5.50am. I gave her 90 ml only and would give her the rest of the feed at6.50/7am, so she was back on track.

MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All frickin morning and guess who's slept through it all yet again???!!!!! I'm slowly getting myself wound up now because I'm tired, I had a girly night out last Saturday, the first night out in over 1 year and who still had to get up to do the morning feed???? Yeah, you know!!! He doesn't go out and he still gets a lie in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, she's been quiet for 2 mins, it's heaven, oh yeah, famous last words!!!!!! I can't feed her until 9.30, not sure if I can last another 20 mins!!! It's not Gabbi's fault, I was wanting to try and find a solution to her not going to sleep in an evening and I ballsed it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think if something is working well and you want to find a solution for a tiny problem so everything is perfect ................... leave well enough alone!!!!!! That's my advice!!! I just hope today gets better

 

[bluebell]

Big Hope today is better for you and Gabbi

I think if something is working well and you want to find a solution for a tiny problem so everything is perfect ................... leave well enough alone!!!!!! That's my advice!!! I just hope today gets better

I totally agree with this I tried to sort out Jay's daytime naps recently to make him sleep for longer but less often. But we had a nightmare day and I realised to some extent you need to let bubba lead the way

xx

 

[ryder]

Maybe it is just too early for her to go to bed? Sometimes after dinner Jasmine falls asleep too (at like 5:30) for about 1/2 an hour, but I know she wont go down and she only naps for about 1/2 an hour then.... And she still goes to bed and falls asleep at 8.

 

[babe2ooo]

i find that jack will never go 2 bed at 7ish he will have a 30min nap and then a play and i give him this last bottle at 9.30 and 10 is bed time and he some times sleeps through sometimes wakes up once and hes beening doing this since 3months, try keeping her up longer it may work it may not, what i used to do was put him in his cot and leave him, he would cry for 10mins and then be asleep i know its hard but i would just go in the kitchen so i couldnt hear him, they wont hurt themself if they are in there cot they are safe, it will get better, maybe try a bath b4 bed then her bottle a bath normal sends jack off, just keep trying good luck

 

[poppy]

Hi Charlie!

I don't know if it would work with your little one, but what we do with Tristan is we give him a bath, then a feed and then put him into his cot with his musical seahorse playing (it plays for about 5 minutes then goes off), by then he is straight off to sleep. Apparantely, babys look for cues and that is why they like routines - so when Tristan has his bath, he knows that it will soon be sleep time. I was sceptical at first as Tristan used to be difficult to get to sleep, but now he is really good about it.

Also, during the day, if Tristan gets over tired, we often put him into his pram and rock him in that - he usually falls asleep quite quickly.

Good luck!

xxx

 

[angie0235]

Hi hope you're having a better time of it. My LO is a similar age and I have a similar routine during the day but I find she is very erratic in the evening/night. Some nights she feeeds just once, other nights she can be up several times then not want to go back off to sleep. I know it's hard but i think they sort themselves out eventually (fingers crossed). No ideas i'm afraid just support from someone who is probably up at the same times as you!!!

 

[marley2580]

I highly recommend starting a bedtime routine now, it'll really help in the coming years. Kaya has her face washed, teeth brushed, jammies on and a couple of stories.