Should be really happy...but cant stop worrying

[my1stbump]

Hi ladies, the last time I was on here I'd lost my baby at 8 weeks, it was a terrible experience all round and took my body nearly 12weeks to finally stop the miscarriage with medical help. This as 2yrs ago

Now... I have just found out I am 5weeks pregnant. I am over the moon but at the same time I am freaking out, and can't stop worrying about what is/isn't gonna happen.

I remember from my DS pregnancy that I got period type pains and the general tiredness and sore boobs.

I feel like I have period pains, not all the time everyday but I do seem to be having them.

But every time I get period pains and I go loo I am checking that I am not bleeding and I am convinced that i will be when in fact I'm not..it's prob just my womb getting ready but I can't help feeling horrible and thinking the worst.

Am I alone? Or is this normal after a loss?

Thank you x

 

[Squishii]

It is definitely normal to feel this way after a loss.
It's hard to connect with a pregnancy and be excited when you have that constant feeling of fear of being heartbroken again, that's totally normal and OKAY to feel that way. Just do what you need to, to try and ease the stress and worry. Making an extra check up appointment, distract yourself with hobbies/family or friends, try to keep yourself busy, or do things you enjoy. Try your best to remain optimistic. It will take some time but the feeling will start to lessen and you will begin to feel more comfortable when you reach the second trimester, if not sooner. Some women will worry the entire time, but mothers always worry lol Totally normal.

 

[Topanga053]

I agree with Squishi. It's totally normal to worry after a loss. Like you, I've been on cloud nine, but also terrified. When we first found out, DH actually asked me if I was having second thoughts because I was so quiest and reserved. Actually, I was thrilled inside, but so, so scared about another loss.

The best way I found to cope is to focus on the short term. I--and some other girls here--adopted the mantra: "Today I'm pregnant and everything is ok." I just focused on enjoying each day that I was still pregnant. I figured even if it got taken away from me again, I wanted to enjoy whatever days I had. I also focused on short term goals, like making it to my first ultrasound, then to my first doctor's appointment, etc.

I'm 14+3 now and after three healthy ultrasounds I still haven't completely relaxed. It's gotten a little easier, but the worry is still there. Right now, my focus is on my appointment next week and getting through that with everything ok. Even now, I won't really discuss names or nursery colors or birth classes or anything like that. I'm still very much focused on one day/week at a time and that's been the only way for me to get through the worry!

Best of luck to you for a H&H 9 months!!! xoxo

 

[SiBelle]

Your fears are completely normal.
Unfortunately, I can't offer much advice other than enjoy every moment.
I lost my last pregnancy in the third trimester and wouldn't exchange the happy moments for anything. The worry, however, never goes away, even when they are born healthy

 

[my1stbump]

Thank you ladies, the hardest part for me is trying to enjoy it, i guess i have to take each day as it comes, and thinking the worse isnt helping, and the other thing is Me & DH aren't telling anyone till we are past the 1st trimester. so having no one to talk to and get excited about it with is one of the things that is making me feel like I do.

from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep in constantly thinking about being pregnant, and i think that is down to not being ale to talk about it lol and I'm certainty feeling it too...I'm huge today (bloated) .

Thank you again x

 

[Mallerm]

I had a loss in October and I'm 18 weeks now and I'm still scared a lot of the time It's normal to have fear when you've experienced something so heartbreaking and unsettling. I have gotten myself into counseling because I want to at least try to enjoy as much of this as possible. I can totally relate to you and the others in this thread. Just know that you aren't alone and you can always come onto here to get some reasurrance. Hugs.

 

[celine]

Yes im 6 weeks...according to my scan that was when th baby stopped growing..i cant stop thinking about it tbh i dont think it will get easier, its like an innocense has been taken away, nothing is safe.