Should I ask to try or carry on with unprotected sex?

[Lisafairy95]

Hi all (I've actually been posting quite a bit on the 2WW forum as I am 8dpo & not sure of any "possibility" yet, but I'm preparing for a BFN as i've lost all hope.)

DILEMMA: This is my second month of sleeping unprotected as we agreed to just "see what happens, but not to try", but I'm feeling quite depressed at the thought of another month where we aren't trying properly as I am so desperate for a baby with him the hardest thing is that I know my cycle quite well and I automatically feel myself ovulate and stuff so I feel the urge to BD & get very downhearted if we don't. And because we're not really trying as such I can't ask him to BD or anything, we spend quite a bit of time apart lately as he has family problems and has been staying with family to help out.

Do you think I should express my feelings towards how much I would like a child? I don't know what to do, I just feel so hopeless and I'm really not coping well with this whole "casual" thing, when our chances could be increased if we just spoken about timings, etc.

I would highly appreciate any advice or thoughts anyone has or if you've been/are in a similar situation.

Good luck to those trying or planning to try

 

[Pearls18]

I would carry on as you are, if you push too much you may scare him off, I also personally think the casual approach is healthier at first anyway.

You don't really need to "try" for a baby, just enjoy sex when you're both in the mood to have sex, hopefully this will happen around ovulation. If he has a lot on ATM he isn't going to be wanting to come home just to try for a baby when he was going for the casual approach, if you weren't naturally going to choose to have sex then it doesn't seem good to force it if you know what I mean? I would carry on as you are, but just be a little more persuasive around the time you do ovulate, if he isn't in the mood then I don't think it's fair to push sex anyway. Maybe try this for a few months when things have settled down for him, if it hasn't happened by then maybe have a formal chat

 

[loeylo]

Oh dear, I could have written this post myself!

I came off contraception over a year ago now, we spent a few months using natural family planning and then we started just guessing my cycles, and for the last four months we have barely even pulled out. Like you, I know my cycle and want to be pregnant but we aren't actually trying. Despite this, I definitely encourage sex more when I am fertile!

Right now I am one day overdue for my period (well, it was due this morning) and we definitely had unprotected sex when I was fertile. My partner didn't want me to buy tests yet as he wants me to wait until tomorrow! Argh! Lol.

I would keep going the way you are, especially if he is having family problems right now. The added pressure might scare him. Some sexy underwear around your fertile time works well

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I agree, just enjoy each other and let it happen. I temped/timed/all that jazz the first month with no luck. The next month I just jumped my new hubby when I felt like it, and that's when we got lucky. Only took once too, and it was a couple of days before I was due to ovulate. Doing all of the fancy stuff isn't always necessary to conceive.

If he's having issues, try to help support him through it so you guys can focus properly once it's resolved.

 

[jaspie]

When i told my OH how strongly i felt about wanting to have a baby he said he didn't know how much I wanted it. This is after years of what I thought was me being quite explicit about what I want! Sometimes it's better to let him know so he's clear on how you feel so that you are both on the same page and that might make him want to try knowing how much it means to you.

 

[kksy9b]

I think honesty is always the better option. I would let him know how you feel. The stress and anxiety over the situation can hinder the chances of getting pregnant anyways. With that, you recognize that he has a lot on his plate right now. Maybe it is best to continue NTNP until things ease up for him. Dont put the pressure on him to add another thing to his plate at the moment, but be open and honest with him about your feelings.

 

[Mummafrog]

Humm.. weell even though I think that a relaxed approach at first is best, I think being open about your desires is more important. I don't think you should have to hide your feelings of eagerness or disappointment. I don't know your partner... but mine would never want me to feel alone like that and not share my feelings with him, even if his feelings were different.
I would suggest you share your feelings but explain that you don't want to go crazy tracking ovulation etc etc, you still want it to be casual, but you would feel better if you both aimed to time it well so each month you felt confident that you have a good chance for a bfp. He might understand that and I don't think that sounds scary Good luck X

 

[Lizzybee]

Relax it will happen. I also felt depresses when I kept getting bfn. So I decided I wasn't testing anymore and what is would be would be. That's when I got a bfp.