should I be hopeful?

spring_baby

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Started bleeding last wednesday but more of a dirty discharge red blood when I wiped on thursday no pain, Friday more blood went to epu and they checked my cervix and my blood hcg levels which were nearly 9000 (8 weeks pregnant) cervix was closed and booked in for a scan last Monday 29/10.
Started bleeding clots Sat went to a&e again took blood checked
cervix was shut and sent home saying if I felt pain and gushed to come back in.
Sun at 10am I started to gush and clot no real pain went back to a&e and scared the staff re the amount of blood I was losing. I was put on a drip still no pain other than a bit of back ache and lost huge clots loads of blood, hospital took 4 lots of blood vials bp was normal and did lots of internals and checked the matter I was losing.
Head consultant came and checked what I had lost pushed my stomach still no pain and said he didnt think mc as I should be having contractions and in a lot of pain plus even though I had lost a lot of blood and clots big and small, it wasnt enough for nearly 9 weeks. He sent me home bleeding stopped soon after.
Returned the following morning for my scan which was inconclusive they couldnt see properly due to bowel gas? the first time I have heard of that and this is my 5th pregnancy. What she could see was a fetal pole sac and fluid around it my cervix was shut and even though I started bleeding after she removed the scope she said that was normal when you have been examined so much and have had bleeding. I then went to epu who said my blood levels supported me being pregnant still as they had doubled again since the tests on Fri which is what they expected.
The u/s made my baby 6 weeks instead of 9 (but I wonder if my cycles are off as I was in early menopause and though I had been bleeding 1 day not even a day a couple of hours if that every 28 ish days I wonder if my cycle had been much longer due to the menopause. She didnt see a hb but at 6 weeks you dont always.
Anyway that was Monday and its now wed evening and I have been bleeding on and of light period style no real clots since then and am hoping that thats due to all the internals I had that left me really sore I had 8 intotal in 4 days not including the internal scan!
I have to go back next Mon Nov 5th for another scan and epu appointment and even though the prognosis was hopeful on Monday I am so scared exhausted on and off bleeding and thinking I am fooling myself feeling pregnant still having the metallic taste in my mouth and feeling so tired by 4pm every afternoon? Anyone experienced anyone this and had a good outcome?
 
I didn't have any pain until maybe an hour or two before the baby passed at nearly 10 weeks so you can't base it on pain. Did they do an US?
 
Yes I did say above I had a scan which is an ultrasound and baby was there just smaller than my dates. Anyway last night I spent the whole night peeing and had to take some gaviscon as I woke in the middle of the night with really bad heartburn. So keeping my fingers crossed that baby is sticking.
 

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