Should I Be Upset No-ones offered to throw me a shower?

[Vickster1]

So I live in the UK where baby showers are not really as big a thing as in the US. I'm not even that bothered about having one - I just feel a bit upset that no-ones offered to throw me one and I don't think anyone will either. I'm not bothered at all about getting presents or anything like that as we have everything we need already. Just thought it would be nice if someone would have offered as it'd be nice to have a bit of a get together and a few hours that are all about our little girl.

My cousin had one thrown for her at the weekend and as awful as it sounds I just feel a bit jealous that no-one seems that bothered about throwing me one Even shedding a few tears not which is totally hormones as i'm not really one to get worked up about silly little things like this.

Thoughts please ladies? Just need cheering up.

 

[Future-Sailor]

Don't be upset chick! It's not a UK tradition and I hope that it will never be either....it's unnecessary in my opinion.....I've only heard of one girl at work who is French that had a baby shower.....all my other friends never had one and I have never heard of anyone having one....I think it's totally unusual and uncommon so wouldn't worry about it x

 

[Angel1990x]

I didn't have an "official" shower,

friends and family just poped round for a visit and brought alot of baby stuff during one or two visits ... it was nice just to sit, chat and have a coffee but it was the same as any other visit, just with a few bits for baby ..

its not a UK thing and to be honest i dont see it becoming a big thing, but if you really want one, whats wrong in organizing one yourself?
Maybe inviting some people round, and getting in some cake and coffee?

you shouldnt be upset huni, if you want one, take charge!!
i hope my mad ranmblings mad sense, xxx

 

[felix555]

I see you're 31 weeks? It might still come, so don't get upset yet. How far along is your cousin?

I had two surprise showers, one at 32 weeks (huge one as I went home and it was family and friends) and one at 36 weeks (very small gathering of 5 close friends).

I'm not from the UK but live here and have noticed that it's very common for people to have their showers later, close to due date.

I've also been to a few where people host their own, though I'd not do this personally I see nothing wrong with doing it and always seems more just like a little get together (usually afternoon tea) before the baby comes. You could do that?

 

[zorak]

It's not normal practice in the UK so try not to upset yourself by expecting one which probably won't come. You'll find you'll be flooded with gifts once baby is actually here.

 

[VGirl]

I am planning to organize somewhat of baby shower myself after the baby comes. We will call it meet and greet and make it in a nearby park and serve lunch. No presents will be expected (I might ask for baby/kids books with some written wishes though - not sure yet) but the most important thing is that the baby will get attention You can try something like this.

 

[lcmorla]

It's okay to be upset and a litter saddened at this but don't let it bother you too much. Bad for baby!

I'm in the US and it's my first so it's traditional to have a shower but I won't be having one. I even asked my Mom to throw me one but it would be too hard since all my friends and family live in another state. It sucks... Especially when I see pictures on fb of people having showers.

Cheer up buttercup! You can always throw a party yourself when the baby is here.

 

[LovemyBubx]

sorry you feel upset, I've noticed baby showers & big gender reveals are becoming a lot more popular here now.

I'm not having a baby shower but I am going to have a kind of 'welcome to the world' party after baby is born, I think its nicer that way then everyone can have a cuddle with baby within a couple of hours & I won't keep getting messages about when people can see us.

Hope your ok

 

[Vickster1]

Yeah i'm fine. I've never really thought about having one myself but I suppose in the back of my mind I was secretly hoping someone might throw me one! As selfish as it sounds I just thought it'd be nice to have a few hours that were all about me and baby (very selfish i know) and i'm just generally in a really weepy hormonal mood today anyway which is not helping.

Like i said it's most definitely not about gifts as if I had the chance to tell people i'd tell them not to bother buying me gifts as we've got everything anyway. Just more about seeing people really. Rant over ha xx

 

[tulip1975]

I'm the opposite - I'm in the US where baby showers are expected, but I'm pretty anti-social and don't like attention. My sister and SIL are throwing me one after I tried for months to get them not to. I don't want people buying me presents or giving me any focused attention. At the end of the day, this baby is special to me - but there's nothing I'm doing that hasn't been done by billions of other women. Yes, I'm way too pragmatic.

Why not just invite your favorite people to go to brunch - tell them you want one last hurrah before you hunker down for a few months with the new baby? I think you'll get exactly what you want, but you won't be waiting for someone else to give it to you.

 

[Monzter79]

No should or shouldn't when it comes to your feelings. I think it's totally natural to feel bummed out when you see a family member having a special experience and you are pregnant as well. Don't beat yourself up for feeling that way! You're human.

My MIL told me she was going to throw me a shower. I didn't want to help plan or anything (according to tradition, it's really supposed to be a surprise). No shower ever happened. Which is fine BUT, because she committed and thus no one else offered, nor would I have been able to accept anyone else's offer - she pretty much shat all over my chance to have a shower for my first baby. Poor form IMO.

I was upset of course, but it wouldn't have been "proper" to mention it, so I just let it go.

You should definitely plan a welcoming party.