Should I still marry him?? Help feeling so low

[xhannahxbanan]

I understand that I shouldn't have hit him but at the time I seen the man I love walk out of a strip bar when I was begging him to come and get me as I had blokes just being slezy and wanted him with me. It was the most hurtful thing finding him there and the fact that he knew how I felt about those places and thy I have no confidence didn't help either! I my ex used to hit me about and I'm not prou of myself for doing that to him but I did word it all wrong as I was typing hen I was angry about it all. I didn't purposely hit him I would never want to give him black eye I love him!! Just happened and now I do feel bad about it and we have both talked.

 

[sianyld]

Hey hun,
we all do things we regret, sumtimes anger just gets the better of us! it was prob that u felt so hurt and ley down it was ur first reaction!

As long as the viloence part doesnt happen on a frequent basis! and not condoning it either! i've been on both sides of violence so know wat ur feelin!

Personally if it was me I'd sit down hav a good chat bout wat u both want and how each of u felt! allow him 1 mistake and he can allow u 1 and move on from it!! or if u cant maybe its time to call it a day!

Good luck babes xx

 

[hedgewitch]

I understand that I shouldn't have hit him but at the time I seen the man I love walk out of a strip bar when I was begging him to come and get me as I had blokes just being slezy and wanted him with me. It was the most hurtful thing finding him there and the fact that he knew how I felt about those places and thy I have no confidence didn't help either! I my ex used to hit me about and I'm not prou of myself for doing that to him but I did word it all wrong as I was typing hen I was angry about it all. I didn't purposely hit him I would never want to give him black eye I love him!! Just happened and now I do feel bad about it and we have both talked.

see now thats what i'm saying, i can tell you love him as you wouldn't have reacted the way you did if you didn't and also you wouldn't have posted on here for advice, its very hard when you come from a relationship where you were abused/hit, i understand completely hun, its so easy to react that way, i do hope you can work it out and talk, talking is the way forward, he loves you very much as if he didn't he would have left. its awful when you get hurt and you do react in the moment but as you said you were in a violent relationship so you know how it feels, thats the only way i have been able to move forward with my hubby, i know how it felt and i don't want to inflict that on him as i know you don't too. i wish you both luck in your future and i know you can work this out, *hugs*,xx

 

[Jkelmum]

Just cus I hit Him when I seen him walk out of that club doesn't mean I'd do it again let alone around my daughter!!!

If it had been the other way round everyone would say he as done it once he will do it again same goes for you

Get help because if u split he will use the violence against you in a custody battle which none of us wouldnt want that

 

[stacey01]

men do silly things , i dont blame u for hitting him , id give my partner a black eye if i found him in a strip club!

 

[aly888]

back to the original question, I still dont think you need to 'call off' the wedding completely There is still plenty of time. You say you have both sat and spoke about what happened...how did that go?! xx

 

[xhannahxbanan]

it went really well, I explained how I felt betrayed etc and he said that he would never go into a place like that again after he seen how hurt u was. Were actually getting on really well
It was the first big argument we had.

But I understand that everyone makes mistakes and we both did that night.

X

back to the original question, I still dont think you need to 'call off' the wedding completely There is still plenty of time. You say you have both sat and spoke about what happened...how did that go?! xx

 

[aly888]

i'm glad it went well. Sometimes it takes for people to see the consequences of their actions to realise that their actions are wrong. So in his case, he didnt realise just how much it would hurt you by going into a strip club until he actually SAW how much it hurt you, iykwim?

Glad the talk went well, and hopefully everything is getting back on track? xx

 

[honeybee2]

ye...hope everything works out ok!!!!

we all have rages to hit people sometimes....in the future really try to control it though lmao!

Dont call of the wedding completely untill you are 100% xxx

 

[lynne192]

personal i would sit and talk about this with your other half if you can't forgive him etc then its never going to work, my OH at the start cheated on me and was really heartbroken, but we worked through things and because we are settled and sorted now thats why we're getting married, tbh if my partner went to a place like that i would prob just laugh but thats me, i always joke about his "porn" collection, i have no body confidence and often am put off of sex or have a low sex drive because of it, with strip clubs its harmless fun, but if it upset you and you told him this then i think that shows he doesn't respect you very much? only you know if you should marry him or not, if your asking on here maybe thats your answer?

 

[Freya]

What about your other half? It wasn't his fault you weren't having a good night. Could you not have gone home by yourself if you'd had enough? You turned his good night into a crap one by kicking off all because YOU weren't having a good time and YOU weren't happy with a strip club being in equation. So HE got moaned at, HE got abused and now YOU'RE sat thinking 'poor me'. Sorry. cant show any support on this one. Im sure you can see why not, and if you cant you may just end up single.

Perhaps you are the one that doesn't deserve him?

 

[spoona]

If you are questioning whether or not to get married, then the answer is always no, don't do it. Now I'm not saying that you should end your relationship over this, but there are obviously some trust issues. There are some creases that need ironing out, it's not the right time to get married unless you can make it all smooth again!
Just remember the good old saying ' if in doubt, leave it out!' Good luck x

 

[LadyofRohan]

I can't help but feel that if her fiance had caught her walking out of a strip club and he hit her and gave her a black eye and fat lip we'd be singing a different tune about this whole thing. Why is there such a double standard when it comes to women abusing men? OP, I don't care how angry/drunk/upset you were....you should not have hit him. If he had called the cops you would have been the one going to jail for domestic abuse.

OP, you obviously have some major body and trust issues. If you don't love your body or yourself then I cannot help but wonder why you are marrying this man.

Please, please go to counselling with him (or by yourself). You need to work out these issues before you get married.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Sorry but thats awful, weather you caught him coming out of a strip club or with another women that sort of violence is not acceptable at all, I think he should be questioning if he wants to marry you!

You both clearly have issues and I hope you get it sorted, Sorry if I sound harsh but I was in a violent relationship and there is no need for it what so ever!!!xxx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I can't help but feel that if her fiance had caught her walking out of a strip club and he hit her and gave her a black eye and fat lip we'd be singing a different tune about this whole thing. Why is there such a double standard when it comes to women abusing men? OP, I don't care how angry/drunk/upset you were....you should not have hit him. If he had called the cops you would have been the one going to jail for domestic abuse.

OP, you obviously have some major body and trust issues. If you don't love your body or yourself then I cannot help but wonder why you are marrying this man.

Please, please go to counselling with him (or by yourself). You need to work out these issues before you get married.

I agree. sorry hun