Sigh feel bad

[Dream.dream]

I feel like I've failed both my kids now because things with this babies dad are going so badly . Another blow up fight tonight and I'm sitting here feeling so guilty that I made such a crummy choice in dads for both my children. I feel like they deserve so much better then this .

Not only is this baby probably never going to even get to meet his dad my other son is losing a guy who he loved as well. I feel almost worse about this because my tummy prince can't miss what he never had but my older child knows right now that he's gone and he does miss him since he basically raised him for half his life .

I wish I could have had better men for their dads and still have them. I hope I'm enough for them as they grow up . As I'm actually done with dating and men al together as I don't want to ever have them hurt by a guy coming into their lives and leaving as they have enough to deal with .

Bad day guys and not my usual strong self . I feel weak and defeated and like I have hurt my children from my poor choices in their dads

 

[bbkf]

At yhe time you obviously thought you were making the right choice and you cant change it now hun. The most you can do it be there and be the best mum once there old enough to understand theyl realise that there dads wernt real men but you were an amazing mum! Theyl never blame you for how their dads behave.

My FOB was there every single day since the day my daughter was born and said they haf a special bond because he was the first in the world to hold her and love her. We broke up and arrraned for him to see her 3 times a week. He hasnt seen her once or even text and asked if shes okay and as shitty as I feel its not my fault he is such a shitty human being :/

Im sorry I dont have much useful to say but mums are amazing! I respect mine even more because she did it alone and I dont care my dad wasnt therr because my mum made it awsome!
A mum can be a mum and dad a friend everything rolled into one and im sure your doing the very best for kids like we all do x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

hugs hun, my OH is leaving me today too, it's not your fault. its them, they gave us false impressions xx

 

[moomin_troll]

My mum had my little sister with her bf at the time.
He was a complete dick, she kept him around because she wanted my little sister to at least have we dad around seen as me and my sister and brother didn't.
We were so happy when she finally kicked him out because I couldn't stand the fighting.

My mum was plenty for us. Rather have a happy mum then two parents fighting

 

[Mummy1995]

They're arseholes, but if you'd 'chosen' a different 'dad' for them then your boys wouldnt be who they are! x

 

[Dream.dream]

I didn't really choose I guess when I think about it since I didn't plan either of my boys, I guess the only choosing I could have done would have ment I couldn't be there mom either .

I think it's not that I don't think ill be enough for them I think I'm just mourning a loss for them . As moms we want everything to be better for our kids then we had and I feel line I've failed them.

This baby's dads changed his mind today and decided instead of never seeing him he's gunna go the other way and says he's gunna get this baby taken away from me after its Born and get full custody because I'm apparently unstable because I have a mental illness and he says he doesn't trust me with the baby now if I'm not going to give it up for adoption .

I just didnt want this for my kids so I'm hurting for not ei h able to give them everything I want to right now .

 

[Mummy1995]

What an arsehole, how dare he! I hope you have proof of him saying he never wants to see him to shove it up that massive arse of his?! I understand your hurt, my dad's played a massive part in my childhood so it is sad our babies can't have that xx

 

[creatingpeace]

Sheesh talk about unstable...change his mind on a dime. Don't worry he will change it again. document his nonsense and ignore!

 

[moomin_troll]

Love how some men think it's that easy to get full custody of a child. Can't imagine him wanting to pay the court fees.
I agree, keep track of all the crap he's saying just incase.
If he thought u we that unstable then I doubt he'd of been with u. What a douche

 

[Dream.dream]

Exactly . if I was so unstable why did he actually talk with my social worker ( I have one to give me access to resources related to my mental illness had one since I was 16) when she talked to him last week that I was fine and he thought I was a good mom and had never seen my mental illness as a problem. Now he's trying to use it against me but e doesn't have a chance.

Thing is he can try but the cheapest lawyer you can get here is a 5000 dollar retainer and 385 an hour, and he doesn't qualify for legal aid . I get an amazing lawyer free who helped me with my first sons dads and she's amazing at getting what she wants . I know I'll never loose my child but I just so didnt want to do this all ove again!

I hate that men can act like arses and don't seem to care that the hurt their children and makes everything worse .

Here's to hoping as much as I didn't want it he stays away

 

[creatingpeace]

Hugs honey! Sucks but you are better off for it. I am so glad you have wonderful resources and that you use them. Good for you!!! Strong Momma