*sigh* tiny bump killing my confidence

[prettybirdy27]

When I don't have clothes on, I can see a clear bump, but when I have clothes on, sometimes you can't even tell I'm pregnant, even though I look bigger. At 23 weeks, people are constantly surprised when I tell them I'm pregnant, and always make comments like "I can't even tell." I feel bigger than normal, and when people say things like that, I know they're trying to be nice but my immediate gut feeling is "Ah, they think I'm normally fat."

Anyway, I was just in the elevator with a woman that knows I'm pregnant, and we were talking about it. Then three other women in the elevator swarmed around me, all got eye level with my belly, and started making comments like "What baby?" "She isn't pregnant!" and "Where? There's no baby there!"

I can't help but feel really bummed. I know I'm bigger than I was before, and to have all these people telling me that no I don't look pregnant at all is just making me feel terrible. It doesn't help that I'm carrying super low and that my belly button hasn't popped yet, so I sort of have a bump, then an actual indent where my belly button is that is clearly visible from the side, and then a little more bump on top - makes it look just like a beer gut. I've started wearing baggy clothes just to cover it up, instead of being able to enjoy it.

Anyone else stuck in this position?

 

[BethMaassen]

I think I totally understand. I am normally a big girl. So when I got pregnant with DD, I didn't think I would show much. but by 20weeks I had the same size bump as I do now (which is pretty big) Then by 35 and on, I was massive, I looked like I swallowed an elephant whole. Some people saw pregnant.

Even at a store I frequent and staff knows me almost on a personal level, did not know I was pregnant. Shortly after I had DD, I was at the store and changing her diaper in the women's room. one of the managers came out of a stall. And questioned me "is that YOUR baby?" "OMG! I totally did not know you were pregnant!!" I was like "How could you not? I looked like I swallowed an elephant!"

I have heard it several times within months after I had DD. I was so upset. I may be fat, but I am not THAT fat. So in a way, I can understand. Because apparently people think I normally look like THAT.

PS: attaching a photo of me at 39 weeks with DD

 

[kuntrykutie]

I had that happen to me with my DD, I didn't really start even showing til I was about 21 weeks, and even then, my bump was pretty small.

 

[jlw617]

Try not to let it get to you, I'm only about a little more than a week ahead of you and so many of my friends have joked that they don't like me because I'm getting smaller instead of bigger lol, I keep losing weight so in my face I definitely look smaller, but I'm not huge nor was I to begin with, my bump looks pretty big at times and almost non existent at other times, it just depends on what I wear

 

[Jessicahide]

Its horrible the other way too, I have people saying, "cant have much longer surely!" When I explain I am not due until nov they act horrified! Moral of the story is...... People are dicks! As for surrounding you and saying "she is not pregnant!" Sounds like they are jealous bullies! They should grow up!

 

[Blu10]

Jeeeeze beth that is one impressive bump!! I didnt show properly with DS until 24 weeks and even then was small. At 36 weeks someone at work asked if i was pregnant, i was like no im just lugging this belly around for fun!!

 

[Twag]

I am getting similar comments about lack of bump and honestly I think my bump is quite big but when I tell people how far along I am they come back with really your so small still and then I worry that means I am just getting fatter all over (I am a size 10) or baby is small but midwife appointments tell me bump is measuring ok

I agee with a PP people are just DICKS!



ps. WOW that is an impressive bump

 

[julesjules100]

I was like that in my last pregnancy and suspect that it will be the same for this one (im 4 months now). BUT, I actually preferred it that way rather than having a massive bump. I didn't get any stretch marks and it was really just my entire middle that went thicker. It was only in the last 4 weeks that you could tell I was pregnant. Embrace it I say, most women I have chatted with who have enormous bumps are unhappy about them and the comments about whether labour is due imminenetly

 

[prettybirdy27]

jlw617 and julesjules100 both nailed it on the head. jlw617, the way I dress does affect it - some days I look super preggo and other days you can't even tell, just depends on what I'm wearing. Last night I went out and bought some new maternity clothes and today I feel like I def look pregnant.

julesjules100, that's what's happening to me - I"m just getting thicker. I'm naturally slim but I'm watching my middle just get thicker without looking like an actual baby bump, and my confidence is tanked. I keep trying to remind myself that I won't be as uncomfortable as ladies who do get much larger bumps, I have no stretch marks yet, and I can get away with most of the shirts I already have (just couldn't get away without buying maternity pants.) All of those are positive things to look at, but I can't help but feel down when someone looks at me and says that I don't look pregnant at all - I always can't help but think that since I look visibly way thicker than usual, people just think I normally look like that.

 

[lewood88]

Im big and i just look fatter rather than pregnant i have what i call " a saggy pouch" due ti my c sections and being fat im round at the top of my belly and have a saggy pouch at the bottom i get pritty self concious about it aswell it was the same with dd2 i didnt look pregnant till 27 weeks u have losr weight off my bum and hips with this pregnancy which is strange
Ill attach a pic of me at 32 weeks with dd2

 

[Lucy3]

My bump is quite different this time to my DS. I'm only 17 weeks so still lots of time to grow and change but I remember at this stage last time I'd get comments about a cute, round bump, this time it's smaller and flatter. How fun that you went and got some mat clothes yesterday! Put some tight tees on

Lewood88, you have a lovely bump!

 

[nicem815]

I went through the exact same thing and actually even had someone ask me when I was about 5 months pregnant if I was "sure that I was pregnant". She asked me what kind of test I took! haha. Trust me, you will look back on this time and LAUGH! And be grateful Once the bump is big, you will see how nice it was to not be that big the whole time! I am almost at the end and felt very spoiled to not really get a big belly or have any issues until the end--so it's a shock to my system now!

Hang in there. You will get that bump!! It just takes some people longer than others.

 

[Vonny1537]

Aww don't be sad, all of a sudden you'll be cursing it getting in your way when you're trying to shave your legs like I was this morning!!! X

 

[tina426]

So i was....until about a week, we'll and a half ago! I swear no idea what happened but i "popped" -my husband was away for work for a few days and was amazed! No one at work (whom i hadn't personally told) knew or assumed....now the jig is up! A friend even mentioned she knew it was me in the hallway because im getting big enough I'm starting to waddle a little!

I think i was similar, I've been carrying really low/he was really low at my 20wk Sscan....I've also started to feel a lot more movement and think he decided it was time to stretch out!

 

[mommychris]

I also experienced this with my first... my whole middle got thicker instead of an adorable bump. I attached a picture of me at 27 weeks... in a lot of clothes you couldn't tell because I was just thick. This time i have more of a bump but still not obvious in everything I wear. I am sure that the new clothes will help! I now wear clothes that show the bump so that I can avoid people assuming I just ate extra cake!

 

[prettybirdy27]

Thank you for the encouragement, everyone. I guess I should've watched what I wish for, because in the last two days, I swear the baby gained 10 pounds and several extra legs. My husband even walked up to me and said "Your bump is visibly bigger than yesterday!" Although I'm still a small bump, I feel like it just popped suddenly, of course after I was feeling so bad about it!

And with the sudden size increase has come painful kicking!! It's gotten so bad that several times a day for the last two days I have to get up and walk around just to soothe her and settle down the kicking. Sleep has been really difficult. And yesterday I rested my phone on my belly, and she kicked it right off!

Although I'm still not a perfect cute round bump, I am actually starting to feel like I look pregnant now.