Silly things people say to us!

[Angel1990x]

Hi all,
i just wanted to get a quick rant of my chest about the silly to the down-right awful things people have said during or about my pregnancy. Feel free to add your own rants

The worst 2 comments ive had that have annoyed me was back at my second scan, which i had at 19 weeks because i was late booking in, my OHs family were desprate to know if it was a boy or girl and were all fighting over who would get told first ... anyway when we finally found out and told everyone we were meet with out right disappointment ... didn't even have the curtosy to just be quiet ... "oh a girl, oh well, next one will be a boy to carry on our family name ..."
I was so angry, i could speak to anyone for weeks without losing it.

the 2nd comment was after been told i "need" to do X, Y & Z just like the mother in law did .. *rolls eyes* she then told me that
"I will have the baby WHEN you can't cope ... its better shes with me anyway, as i know better than you what to do with new babies, you've never done this before!"

I can't even begin to explain how this made me feel, this is my first baby, shes not even here yet and I'm been judged already ...

other daft comments have included,
"When's the next one?/ surley you want a boy too?"
"Are you sure about that name?/ you'll change your mind when shes here!"
"Do you really wanna buy/do that, because i never did!"
"I will do X, Y & Z, because you won't know how!"

Most of the time i just wanna strangle someone, and i just needed to vent abit, anyone else suffered these sorts of comments? And if so how did you cope because all i wanna do is curl up and cry. Xx

 

[sethsmummy]

omg hun next time she says something like that put her in her place.. otherwise the comments will just keep coming once baby is here

i had a lot when i got pregnant with my first

"youv done it to trap ****(dh) " <-- my family! Even though my oh and I had already talked about it happening as we didnt use contraception.

"your bloody stupid" <- my family

"stop calling it a baby.. and stop getting excited.. your only 10 weeks it could die tomorrow.. your just a stupid bitch" <- my sister

"have you thought about an abortion.. you can always have one you know" <- MIL

"you cant do x,y,z its just not done" <- MIL

"I did this so you have to aswell" <- MIL

"you cant use your last name.. thats disrespectful to FIL. It has to be called ******" .. she was put in her place with that one. I chose to make my children have a double barrelled last name so they have dh's and mine.

I have had A LOT worse stuff from MIL when shes been drunk ( including a very abusive drunk call to DH the night ds1 was born because they hadnt been allowed upto the hospital to meet him.. i hadnt even met him yet as he was took straight out of theatre to SCBU) in both regards to pregnancy and my children/marriage. she was banned from our life for a while because of it. she now knows better xx

 

[Angel1990x]

Oh my god hun, thats awful ...

jeez and i thought i had it bad!! Xxx

you're definitely stronger than me, i would have broken down after all that,, it baffles me how horrid some people can be!! :O xxx

 

[sethsmummy]

i broke down after the stuff with my family. MIL i just ended up putting her in her place! She learned eventually that she will not win against me when it comes to me and my children... shes on her last chance and knows it. "DROP DEAD
DO US ALL A FAVOUR" this is the kind of thing i got from her.. i have kept all of her messages for if the need should arrise.

you just have to be strong enough to realise that you ARE better than them and what they say means Nothing xx

 

[MollyNorwood]

HOLY MOTHER OF F*$# !!!!!
I don't know what else to say- I can't imagine anyone saying those things to you Sethsmummy you are one of the nicest ladies on this board, how awful !!!
Angel- I'd be inclined NEVER to call upon your MIL to help with a damned thing with your baby based just on her comment about 'when you can't cope' !
We haven't found out the sex of our baby, we also haven't disclosed our chosen names but we are lucky as both sides of our family are supportive so we don't predict trouble with anything.
My parents live almost 2 hours away and my in laws are around the corner, my MIL has said if ever i need anything to please call. No judgements, no back handed comments.
That is how it should be!!!
The only negative things anyone has said to me thus far is when a friends mum didn't know how far along I was and decided to guess.
I am a big girl so that was her mistake.
Lucky i forgave her when I was 3 months along and she suggested i was 7 months. LOL

 

[sethsmummy]

Molly that's how it should be. I hate that people think they have the right to be horrible to you just because they are family or your pregnant.

And thank you I try be nice to everyone as I hate when people are horrid. I used to be quite a meek person but experiencing that taught me I have to be strong for me and my boys. It doesn't matter what other people think.

We actually hid that we had been ttc for this baby because we knew what kind of comments we'd get so as far as family and most friends know it was an accident and i didn't find out till 8 weeks gone. It didn't get a warm reception from my parents (none of my pregnancies have) but my mum kindly admitted they are just worried this time in case I have another special needs child and struggle.. but I told her if I do..I do.. I will cope because I'm their mum and I have to

 

[Fourstar]

Some brutal comments there!

Here's a sample of what I have to put up with.

I walked into my sitting room yesterday and my mil exclaimed in her loud throttle 'you're after getting massive'. Infront of a room full of people! There followed an awkward silence. Everyone was clearly taken aback at her rudeness. I just smiled and replied 'jeeeze thanks just what every woman wants to hear when she walks into a room'. Mil is so self obsessed she didn't even notice that she was out of line. She simply leaned across to my oh and with the gleam of a miser salvating over gold said ' It'll be a boy this time'. If I had made any hint of a derogatory comment about her it would be tuck-in- heart, snot and tears and I'd be the' bitch'. Funny how some people just have such a sense of entitlement.

 

[sethsmummy]

Omg bitch! That's my mil too... everyone else is always the bad one and in the wrong even if she's the one out of line. Xx

 

[Angel1990x]

I'm very shocked at some of the comments people have made towards you lovely ladies ... i honestly thought my MIL was extreme, but it seems i got off lightly, i would be in floods at some of this, i can't understand some peoples crulty ...

nice to see your all very strong n tough mummys though!!


and im thankful to have somewhere to rant and so much support from you lovey ladies xxx

 

[supersherwolf]

God, I'm sorry you have to deal with comments like that.

Lol, I've had two people early on in my pregnancy tell me "You just look fat, not pregnant". Lol, I just laugh it off.

 

[Angel1990x]

God, I'm sorry you have to deal with comments like that.

Lol, I've had two people early on in my pregnancy tell me "You just look fat, not pregnant". Lol, I just laugh it off.

I had a very similar comment for the MIL during my early pregnancy, she used to introduce me to other family members and add on the end "... and if i didn't tell you she was pregnant, you'd think she'd been at the pies wouldnt you? Mind you she needs it, skinny as a rake she was when she was younger... it cant be right, its not healthy..."

I didn't like been spoke about as if i wasn't standing there, thank god my OH used to rescuse me from it ... i used to be so embarrassed but so emotional i would just start welling up ... which made it worse because id feel so daft! Xx

 

[Ashersmomma]

Wow! I can't believe people actually act like that. That's so rude!
I haven't had many comments this pregnancy, but I hardly see anyone but my family, and they are very supportive. The only thing I've heard so far is that DHs grandma and dad don't like the name we chose because it's too "black" and that grandma just doesn't have time to make more than one thing for the great grandkids now. I don't really care if she makes anything at all, but I don't see it being fair that DS got about 15 homemade blankets, burp cloths, and towels, and DD is getting one towel(she just takes a towel and sews a hood on it). I think it has to do more with us not taking her advice and naming DD the name she wants(she likes DSs name because his middle name is her late husband's middle name) Oh, and the reasoning also irritates me. You'd think she has lots of great grandkids, but DD is only her second.
When I was pregnant with DS I got a lot of the "I know what to do better than you" comments from MIL. I'm just glad I haven't seen her in quite a while. Since we moved back to my hometown over a year ago, I've seen her twice, and both times were before I got pregnant. If course she's shown that her claims are not true, since she's now asking DH to ask me advice on what to do in certain cases now that she's watching a friend's 1 yr old. Makes me want to be kind of snotty and point out that she knows everything already, but I restrain myself. I really don't like my in-laws.

 

[bounceyboo]

Wow! I can't believe people actually act like that. That's so rude!
I haven't had many comments this pregnancy, but I hardly see anyone but my family, and they are very supportive. The only thing I've heard so far is that DHs grandma and dad don't like the name we chose because it's too "black" and that grandma just doesn't have time to make more than one thing for the great grandkids now. I don't really care if she makes anything at all, but I don't see it being fair that DS got about 15 homemade blankets, burp cloths, and towels, and DD is getting one towel(she just takes a towel and sews a hood on it). I think it has to do more with us not taking her advice and naming DD the name she wants(she likes DSs name because his middle name is her late husband's middle name) Oh, and the reasoning also irritates me. You'd think she has lots of great grandkids, but DD is only her second.
When I was pregnant with DS I got a lot of the "I know what to do better than you" comments from MIL. I'm just glad I haven't seen her in quite a while. Since we moved back to my hometown over a year ago, I've seen her twice, and both times were before I got pregnant. If course she's shown that her claims are not true, since she's now asking DH to ask me advice on what to do in certain cases now that she's watching a friend's 1 yr old. Makes me want to be kind of snotty and point out that she knows everything already, but I restrain myself. I really don't like my in-laws.

I don't either cant stand them, not as such his mother but shes a bit, lights are on n bodys home, going on dh dad I actually hate, he showed us u during his speech at our wedding last month and told my other shes depressed looing do you miss you daughter...at the to table...at my wedding, hes an idiot, when they came to out house a week r so later told him how ridiculous he sounded and what the hell was he thinking, and we haven't seen them since, thank god!

 

[sethsmummy]

Wow! I can't believe people actually act like that. That's so rude!
I haven't had many comments this pregnancy, but I hardly see anyone but my family, and they are very supportive. The only thing I've heard so far is that DHs grandma and dad don't like the name we chose because it's too "black" and that grandma just doesn't have time to make more than one thing for the great grandkids now. I don't really care if she makes anything at all, but I don't see it being fair that DS got about 15 homemade blankets, burp cloths, and towels, and DD is getting one towel(she just takes a towel and sews a hood on it). I think it has to do more with us not taking her advice and naming DD the name she wants(she likes DSs name because his middle name is her late husband's middle name) Oh, and the reasoning also irritates me. You'd think she has lots of great grandkids, but DD is only her second.
When I was pregnant with DS I got a lot of the "I know what to do better than you" comments from MIL. I'm just glad I haven't seen her in quite a while. Since we moved back to my hometown over a year ago, I've seen her twice, and both times were before I got pregnant. If course she's shown that her claims are not true, since she's now asking DH to ask me advice on what to do in certain cases now that she's watching a friend's 1 yr old. Makes me want to be kind of snotty and point out that she knows everything already, but I restrain myself. I really don't like my in-laws.

I don't either cant stand them, not as such his mother but shes a bit, lights are on n bodys home, going on dh dad I actually hate, he showed us u during his speech at our wedding last month and told my other shes depressed looing do you miss you daughter...at the to table...at my wedding, hes an idiot, when they came to out house a week r so later told him how ridiculous he sounded and what the hell was he thinking, and we haven't seen them since, thank god!

omg thats shocking! id have kicked him out the wedding .. i hate when other people ruin your wedding everyone at mine was too pissed to make a scene during speeches

 

[emmi26]

I got oh you won't go full term your bump is too big that was at 26 weeks !
I ignore people now my little boy was 2 weeks late and if one more person had said haven't you had him yet ? I would have killed someone !

 

[bounceyboo]

Wow! I can't believe people actually act like that. That's so rude!
I haven't had many comments this pregnancy, but I hardly see anyone but my family, and they are very supportive. The only thing I've heard so far is that DHs grandma and dad don't like the name we chose because it's too "black" and that grandma just doesn't have time to make more than one thing for the great grandkids now. I don't really care if she makes anything at all, but I don't see it being fair that DS got about 15 homemade blankets, burp cloths, and towels, and DD is getting one towel(she just takes a towel and sews a hood on it). I think it has to do more with us not taking her advice and naming DD the name she wants(she likes DSs name because his middle name is her late husband's middle name) Oh, and the reasoning also irritates me. You'd think she has lots of great grandkids, but DD is only her second.
When I was pregnant with DS I got a lot of the "I know what to do better than you" comments from MIL. I'm just glad I haven't seen her in quite a while. Since we moved back to my hometown over a year ago, I've seen her twice, and both times were before I got pregnant. If course she's shown that her claims are not true, since she's now asking DH to ask me advice on what to do in certain cases now that she's watching a friend's 1 yr old. Makes me want to be kind of snotty and point out that she knows everything already, but I restrain myself. I really don't like my in-laws.

I don't either cant stand them, not as such his mother but shes a bit, lights are on n bodys home, going on dh dad I actually hate, he showed us u during his speech at our wedding last month and told my other shes depressed looing do you miss you daughter...at the to table...at my wedding, hes an idiot, when they came to out house a week r so later told him how ridiculous he sounded and what the hell was he thinking, and we haven't seen them since, thank god!

omg thats shocking! id have kicked him out the wedding .. i hate when other people ruin your wedding everyone at mine was too pissed to make a scene during speeches

id had a big fight with dh in the days leading u to the wedding because I knew he'd make a fool of himself on top of that hes Italian, I cant understand a word he says at the best of times never mind anyone that's just met him, he is an idiot, he made out that when we broke up 8 years ago, he got us back together when in fact he had nothing to do with it!, I zoned out of his speech after while dunno what else he said but dh knew I wanted to kill him and he was mortified himself, so he couldn't say much when I went off on a rant the next day

 

[dlj2]

Wow I'm really shocked at some of the things that have been said hang in there mums, you'll always know what's best for your baby so don't let anyone tell you different.x

 

[sethsmummy]

eek bouncyboo! If it makes you feel better my whole wedding was a disaster (well apart from the actual church part).. the night do reduced me to a sobbing mess in the toilets at midnight. NEVER AGAIN!

 

[laura109]

This is probs an old post but i agree. We have chosen sienna. My sister has voiced that shes not a fan and suggested other names. My parents dont want to know the sex so wont look at anything weve bought.

My best friend said the novelty will wear of with buying brand new clothes and ill soon buy second hand bundles and toys (like im living in noddy land!)

People saying every form of pain relief is bad. Everyone has a horror story about epidurals giving back problems. Gas and air will make me throw up. Other things make u sick and dizzy.

I want pain relief!!! Lol. Im sick of peoples horror stories about labour too. Xx

 

[Angel1990x]

This is probs an old post but i agree. We have chosen sienna. My sister has voiced that shes not a fan and suggested other names. My parents dont want to know the sex so wont look at anything weve bought.

My best friend said the novelty will wear of with buying brand new clothes and ill soon buy second hand bundles and toys (like im living in noddy land!)

People saying every form of pain relief is bad. Everyone has a horror story about epidurals giving back problems. Gas and air will make me throw up. Other things make u sick and dizzy.

I want pain relief!!! Lol. Im sick of peoples horror stories about labour too. Xx

I had the similar horror storys for the MIL, telling me that EVERYTHING went wrong for her so i need to be on my guard!!
Great advice for a first time mum ... just want i wanted to hear ...

i could go on about the horrific storys and ideas she has about my baby but i really would be here all day, she seems to have a new problem everyday!!

I've told her I've chosen a name me and my OH are happy with, and i have chosen a method of pain relief i want (epidural, i hope.) And i won't change my mind, i now fond staying away from her is the best idea ... hard, considering she lives 15 mins away .. even my OH has had enough of her and her ideas ...

hang in there huni, every mummy should get to make all her own choices when it comes to her baby, dont let anyone get you down xxx