single dad rights

[sweetlullaby]

Hoping that wasn't aimed at me Sorry If I appeared harsh didn't mean to! In some cases it isn't fair the way the system and court processes work either way for mothers or fathers.
I was going on the understanding that you's lived in the same house (as in you, mother and son) and that he was 3 years old and that the mother was a fantastic mother most of the time but sometimes went "off the rails" and that you wanted to move with your son away from his mother to London. And a judge always has to consider the best interests of the child as a top priority and taking a 3 year old away from his mummy is not usually in the child's best interests unless the mother is putting the child at real danger or she agree's to it. Thats what I meant lol

 

[MissEfendi]

He said the mother was FANTASTIC, if he said the mother was unable to care for the son and was a bad mother, we would be advising him to seek legal advice but he did not say that, so I think you have taken it out of context Linzi.

I think it just boils down to he has finished with his ex but yet is living with her and her mother in her mother's house, they obviously do not get on hence they are not a couple anymore, he is missing his home, his family and friends, but at the same time wants to see his son. So the best thing is to sit down and discuss how often he can have his son when he moves back home so that the son gets the best of both world.

 

[MissEfendi]

Think we all go off the rails sometimes!It is normal, bad mothers are never fantastic, whereas Jay has stated she is fantastic, thus there is no legal reason to remove the baby from his mother's care. He would have to prove to the courts anyway that the mother is dangerous in order to get residency of his son, which won't happen because she is not bad mother. Jay just wants to go home and have access to his son, therefore the best thing is to sit down and talk.

Just be aware Jay that when the father and mother are not a couple it is going to be hard, so if you get to have him every fortnight for a whole weekend, take it, and build up to more days , when two people live far apart it is hard to arrange it whereby you both get equal time with the child because naturally living with his mum will be his permanent base and when he goes to school , make friends etc he will needs to spend the majority of the time there, but you never know, she might be cool with you having him most weekends and holidays.

 

[Linzi]

In my post I commented that it was difficult to understand because there was very little details about her 'going off the rails'. My mother was bi polar so some days she was brillaint, some days she was in hospital, overdosing on drugs etc. Thats how I read it anyway. I dont think I took it out of context I just think its very difficult to judge based on the little info in the post.

But I do think that he is doing what he believes is for the best for his child, and if he does apply for full custody or whatever, Im sure it will work out in the correct way.

Just think its a little unfair that fathers dont get the same reaction mothers do.

Think the best thing now might be for OP to come back & give a little more detail.

Also my post was not aimed at anyone just in general reaction to the thread.

x

 

[MissEfendi]

I personally think that rights are given too freely, I know many people whose child/ren have to endure a violent and abusive parent just because the courts think any parent is better than no parent, sadly that is not the case, if the mother or father is abusive, violent etc, than the child is better off without that parent, it is better to be surrounded by love, no stress and a good role model whether it is one parent, a grandparent etc, than to be surrounded by a mother and father whose influence brings nothing but unhappiness just because they are the biological parent.

 

[WhiteGeisha]

sorry im still confused does your sons mum live there with you both as well?
why did you want to take him away from his mum?
does he have contact with her if you dont live together?

Me 2!

I've asked twice now

 

[bloodbinds]

sorry im still confused does your sons mum live there with you both as well?
why did you want to take him away from his mum?
does he have contact with her if you dont live together?

Me 2!

I've asked twice now

He has already answered this.

He is living in his ex's mums house, with his ex and his son.

So they are all living in the same house together, and he seems to be living there still for his sons sake.


To the OP, i think it's great that you care a great deal about your son, but you can not take him away from his mother just because you want to live closer to your friends without leaving your son, sorry!
Like you said, i think it's a good idea that you talk to your ex and try to arrange something together, where you can both see him equal amounts?
Good luck with it all

 

[scottishgal89]

im a bit confused...do you live together?

i live at her mothers house where we lived togehet when we was a couple

he didnt say she still lived there though. he said lived in past tense

 

[Ju_bubbs]

Whether your childs mother is a fantastic mum or not, if you are named on the childs brth certificate, she has NO more rights than you do. You COULD take your son anywhere, and the only way she could get him back is by taking you to court.

I know this because it happened to me when My ex and I first split.. and back then, the name on birth certifiacte thing didn't give fathers equal rights even, and he was still just 'allowed' to go to my sons school, take him early, and not let me have him back.

When I took him to court over residency of my son, he then had to apply to the court for equal parental rights, which he was granted. Several months later there was an interim hearng, and the judge gave my sons father temporary residency til the end of the court case, as he 'didn't want to upset the status quo'

I won the court case in the end, pretty much because my sons father was an alcoholic and wasn't capable of caring for a child. However, if we had both been perfectly fit parents, 'm quite sure he would have won, simply because our son was already living with him, even if it was only for the 9 months it took for the court case to complete, and he's lived with me for 4 years before that!

I'm not in any way saying its right of you to just take you child and move away from its mother btw, just telling you where the law stands on it.

 

[jayjay121]

im a bit confused...do you live together?

i live at her mothers house where we lived togehet when we was a couple

he didnt say she still lived there though. he said lived in past tense

i live at my ex mothers house and no she does not live there

 

[jayjay121]

just wana say thanks again for all the post some real usefull imformation.


p.s this forum is fantasticoooooooooo : )

 

[jayjay121]

Whether your childs mother is a fantastic mum or not, if you are named on the childs brth certificate, she has NO more rights than you do. You COULD take your son anywhere, and the only way she could get him back is by taking you to court.

I know this because it happened to me when My ex and I first split.. and back then, the name on birth certifiacte thing didn't give fathers equal rights even, and he was still just 'allowed' to go to my sons school, take him early, and not let me have him back.

When I took him to court over residency of my son, he then had to apply to the court for equal parental rights, which he was granted. Several months later there was an interim hearng, and the judge gave my sons father temporary residency til the end of the court case, as he 'didn't want to upset the status quo'

I won the court case in the end, pretty much because my sons father was an alcoholic and wasn't capable of caring for a child. However, if we had both been perfectly fit parents, 'm quite sure he would have won, simply because our son was already living with him, even if it was only for the 9 months it took for the court case to complete, and he's lived with me for 4 years before that!

I'm not in any way saying its right of you to just take you child and move away from its mother btw, just telling you where the law stands on it.

thank you really was a real helpful good read

 

[jayjay121]

In my post I commented that it was difficult to understand because there was very little details about her 'going off the rails'. My mother was bi polar so some days she was brillaint, some days she was in hospital, overdosing on drugs etc. Thats how I read it anyway. I dont think I took it out of context I just think its very difficult to judge based on the little info in the post.

But I do think that he is doing what he believes is for the best for his child, and if he does apply for full custody or whatever, Im sure it will work out in the correct way.

Just think its a little unfair that fathers dont get the same reaction mothers do.

Think the best thing now might be for OP to come back & give a little more detail.

Also my post was not aimed at anyone just in general reaction to the thread.

x

hey no probs matey thanks for your feed back

 

[bloodbinds]

im a bit confused...do you live together?

i live at her mothers house where we lived togehet when we was a couple

he didnt say she still lived there though. he said lived in past tense

i live at my ex mothers house and no she does not live there

:-S So you live at your exs mother's house with her mother and your son? Is that right? If so that is very strange! Lol.

Why doesn't she live with you and her son? If she is a none-resident parent then you are more likely to be able to move away with your son i think, though you would have to go to court about it, but if he's been living with you then it's more likely to go in your favour x

 

[scottishgal89]

agree with bloodblinds but im a bit confused about the whole thing.
why does your son's mum not live with him?

 

[jayjay121]

im a bit confused...do you live together?

i live at her mothers house where we lived togehet when we was a couple

he didnt say she still lived there though. he said lived in past tense

i live at my ex mothers house and no she does not live there

:-S So you live at your exs mother's house with her mother and your son? Is that right? If so that is very strange! Lol.

Why doesn't she live with you and her son? If she is a none-resident parent then you are more likely to be able to move away with your son i think, though you would have to go to court about it, but if he's been living with you then it's more likely to go in your favour x

well we were living together at her mums but she started to see sum1 else so she moved out.

and yes it is very strange

 

[jayjay121]

agree with bloodblinds but im a bit confused about the whole thing.
why does your son's mum not live with him?

she moved out when we spilt up

 

[scottishgal89]

how often does your ex see your son?

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

She may be a fantistic mother

But as you have said she doesn't actually live with the child. Is that right? Then I think you would have a good case in court as you seem to be the main carer and the most peristant thing in his life, Therefore a court may rule in yoru favour for full custody
xx

 

[jayjay121]

how often does your ex see your son?

near enuff every day.