Single moms - advise me please!

[LeoLeah77]

Me and my oh aren't getting on. We're really up and down and he's not maturing as much as he should be and he keeps getting his priorities wrong. I promised myself after the last time we split that this would be his last chance. However he has changed a lot compared to how he used to be but in my eyes it's still not good enough. We had a chat tonight and he promised me he's gonna change but I'm very doubtful. Thing is I'm terrified of ending it, I'm scared of being a single mother and getting lonely. How do you guys do it and how did you even manage to end your previous relationship with fob? It's the hardest thing to do ever. I need reassurance in case this all goes tits up and my world comes crashing down.

 

[Dezireey]

Sorry you are going through this, its tough and frustrating when they behave this way. At least he says he is going to change. What kind of things is he doing to upset you?

The only reassurance I can give is that being a single mother is way better than being with a man that doesn't treat you or your children right or being with a man that makes you desperately unhappy. I despair about my ex but people are right, we are way better off without him.

Relationships are bloody hard work, even when they are going well, so maybe set some deadlines for him and even maybe have a trial separation if he doesn't change? Its never any good these days to just stay with someone for the sake of the children. Yes, because of kids, partners should work harder on mending a relationship but if there is no way the relationship can be repaired, then you and baby are better off alone.

Being a single mother is tiring but very rewarding. Pros and cons

 

[bananaz]

I agree that being a single parent is infinitely better than being with someone who doesn't treat you well. I am much happier taking care of LO on my own than I was when I had to take care of her and try to babysit her dad.

You will make it work, one way or the other

 

[daneuse27]

The ladies are right. Remember that fear is never a good reason to stay with someone, and the longer you live a lie (not that you are) the more emotional damage it could do to children having to witness their parents separation when they're old enough to be sad about it. Fob and I broke up before our daughter was born, and as sad as that may sound - its better than fighting in front of her.

I don't know what your situation is, but just listen to your gut and ask yourself what your reasons would be for staying/leaving.

 

[creatingpeace]

I love being a single mom the only thing I hate about it is having to let him see his Dad and being without him during that time.

I remember being TERRIFIED to leave, overwhelmed, did not know where to begin. Scared!!! All of it. I took my time. When I first left I stayed with family and took things slow. Soaked up their emotional support. Found a place and never looked back.

Take things slow.

 

[LeoLeah77]

Thank you for the replies ladies. We are trying to make things work and if things don't change I think a separation trial is a very good idea x