single mums to be

[louloubelle76]

will you contact FOB when you have baby? and will you be putting him on the birth cert?

I was going to contact him when I had her but ive been thinking why should I? he can not even send a text asking how my pregnancy so why should I let him know.

As for the birth cert he doesnt respond to my texts so doubt he will be on her cert.

 

[teal]

I tried to contact FOB once Lo arrived but he had changed his phone number and when I tried to email him it came back undelivered. If you do contact him at least you'll know you tried, I know it's hard when they are a complete waste of space.

My ex has never met his child. I made one last attempt last month but he was so abusive on the phone that he deserves no more chances. So when he regrets it he can go to hell.

I didn't put his name on the birth certificate but where I am if you're not married both parents have to be present.

Hope you're ok xx

 

[MumToBe2012]

I'm not even going to contact FOB. If he wants to be a part of my baby's life, then he'll contact me because I'm not chasing after someone to be there for my child if he doesn't want to be there. It kills me that my baby will be unlikely to have their dad, but that's the way things seem to be going. If he contacts me before I register the baby when he/she is born, then I'll put him on the birth certificate.

Have you spoken to his family? I'm planning on telling my FOB's family about the baby so they at least have a chance of being there for the baby if they so wish - at least that way the baby will have contact with some of their paternal side of the family.

Basically just do what you think is right for your baby. It's all you can do.

 

[dustbunny]

I'm not even going to contact FOB. If he wants to be a part of my baby's life, then he'll contact me because I'm not chasing after someone to be there for my child if he doesn't want to be there. It kills me that my baby will be unlikely to have their dad, but that's the way things seem to be going. If he contacts me before I register the baby when he/she is born, then I'll put him on the birth certificate.

Completely agree with this!! I am not contacting FOB because he knows the due date. He hasn't made any effort and thrown any effort I have made to include him back in my face by playing silent. Haven't heard from him in a month now, even longer if I discount me contacting him to be included. He couldn't be bothered to book a scan, turn up to the other scan or contribute to her financially but made the time to upgrade his equipment[£1000+!]. He hasnt been bothered to phone or email me about her.... so no. He is not a father in my eyes, he is a waste of space. He won't be going on the birth certificate either and I don't care how harsh that sounds. If he had bothered I wouldn't even have questioned it.

 

[jambermush]

I'm not sure what to do about contacting FOB when the time comes, as the police have already been called out for him harassing me and my family, so I don't really want it all dragging back up again, particularly with a newborn baby on the scene, but then is that fair to him or the baby?

 

[peapod11]

I'm not even going to contact FOB. If he wants to be a part of my baby's life, then he'll contact me because I'm not chasing after someone to be there for my child if he doesn't want to be there. It kills me that my baby will be unlikely to have their dad, but that's the way things seem to be going. If he contacts me before I register the baby when he/she is born, then I'll put him on the birth certificate.

Completely agree with this!! I am not contacting FOB because he knows the due date. He hasn't made any effort and thrown any effort I have made to include him back in my face by playing silent. Haven't heard from him in a month now, even longer if I discount me contacting him to be included. He couldn't be bothered to book a scan, turn up to the other scan or contribute to her financially but made the time to upgrade his equipment[£1000+!]. He hasnt been bothered to phone or email me about her.... so no. He is not a father in my eyes, he is a waste of space. He won't be going on the birth certificate either and I don't care how harsh that sounds. If he had bothered I wouldn't even have questioned it.

totally agree with this, up until recently i was going to let him know what i was having after my next scan, but when i stop and think about what he has actually put me threw in the past few months, i owe him nothing, if anything hes the one that owes me alot.. i have tried to be nice but nothing seems to work, so bascially he can take a running jump. it will be his lose. i also agree with u and the birth certificate, i will also not be putting him on that also, if there isnt a huge change in his behaviour, and after making me homeless, with no family around after four years together, not contacting me, making his family against me and not seeing the baby also, blanking me in the street and leaving a nightclub with a girl, i some how dont think his behaviour will change.

 

[acowart]

I broke up with FOB when I was 6 weeks, he wanted me to get pregnant so I wouldn't leave him. But when I broke up with him he told me to abort LO and I refused. He moved out of state a week after we broke up and haven't heard from him since. I am 15 weeks today and met an amazing man who wants to be part of LO's life. I won't be contacting FOB since he abandoned his responsibility. Nor am I asking for any sort of child support and not putting him on birth certificate.

 

[BadassMom]

I've been going back and forth in my mind about this since the first time FOB and I broke up. He insists on naming the baby after him (just found out its a BOY) but I don't think so because he's not going to stand up and take responsibility for caring or paying for our child. Some days I don't even want him on the birth certificate, but other days I feel like I have no choice.

 

[jaytee146]

I didn't contact FOB... as fate would have it he actually called a few hours after my lo was born. I never contacted him on what hospital and made it perfectly clear he wasn't allowed to come by any means.

I wanted positive people around not him and all his drama. I feel he gave up the right to be there when he couldn't be an "adult" about my pregnancy.

My mom and aunt never left my side.. so have a supportive friend or family member. Even the labor and delivery nurse's never left. best of luck

 

[george83]

mine and my husband's relationship went completely down hill through my pregnancy to the point where i never saw him and he couldn't even be bothered to be there when i had the baby. i wish to god i'd never put his name on the birth certificate and i wish i'd given my baby my maiden name. the way you ladies have stood up to your exes amazes me, i wish i had your courage

 

[bumphenders]

I haven't seen FOB since before I told him I was pregnant...
We have had a lot of issues and now I don't speak to him.
Haven't since the beginning of Jan (I think) And I don't plan on running after him anymore (Done it 4/5times)
He knows when my son is due to be born, he has my number and he knows where I live.
I contacted his brother through facebook, the family apparently didn't know I was pregnant, then the last time we argued I deleted his brother and haven't heard from any of them since.

My son doesn't need anything from him! And he won't be at the birth or going on the birth certificate either.
It saddens me that my son won't have his biological dad around, but he has more then one father figures in his life so I know he has 10 times more then what his real dad would give him!

 

[BadassMom]

I'd like to revise my earlier answer. I'm not putting FOB on the birth certificate, and the baby will have my last name. I'm not sure if I even want him at the birth, but I'm sure as hell not contacting him. He knows when I'm due.

 

[bumphenders]

Oh and LO will have my last name

 

[Dezireey]

My LO will have my name and as far as registering the birth, well I can't do it without FOB present anyway so if he refuses to do it, he refuses.

I have tried lots of different ways to make him understand/see sense like going down the nice route and also going ballistic on him. Nothing works, he just either ignores me (when I have gone crazy on him) or responds that he misses me but does nothing about it. It really feels like he is denying to himself that this is all happening.

I will tell him when the baby is born and that is it, the rest is up to him. People are different I guess. If I were a man, it would just drive me plum crazy knowing I had a kid in this world and I hadn't at least seen them or got involved in some way. But I reckon some men just have little or no emotion about these things and just don't give a hoot.

 

[BadassMom]

If I were a man, it would just drive me plum crazy knowing I had a kid in this world and I hadn't at least seen them or got involved in some way. But I reckon some men just have little or no emotion about these things and just don't give a hoot.

My best friend (who is also a single mom with a deadbeat FOB) talk about this all the time. How can men have a child and not do anything to support or care for the LO, and still sleep at night???

 

[bumphenders]

If I were a man, it would just drive me plum crazy knowing I had a kid in this world and I hadn't at least seen them or got involved in some way. But I reckon some men just have little or no emotion about these things and just don't give a hoot.

My best friend (who is also a single mom with a deadbeat FOB) talk about this all the time. How can men have a child and not do anything to support or care for the LO, and still sleep at night???

Ikwym! I couldn't imagine not being involved with my LO, it frustrates me how men can just walk away and be so heartless about it all!

 

[louloubelle76]

Hi ladies

sorry havent replyed but from my ticker you can tell little madam come 6 weeks early, havent contacted FOB either.

What im going to do is wait until my orginal due date (4th march) ironic really as this is the day when I register her without him and his name, i will then send a shitty text saying thanks for your concern about your daughter thoughout my pregnancy if you did bother to contact me you would have known I had her back in January.

I dont know why these men dont have anything to do with their children, my dad left when i was young but we still saw him every weekend until 1 weekend he didnt turn up so my mum wasnt happy we was all ready waiting for him and he didnt show, i dont want that for my little girl either.

 

[bumphenders]

Awww congratulations! I hope you are both well!

FOB is the one missing out

 

[..katie..]

I will let him know. I still very much am good with his family. I will also put his name on her bc because he is her father. Whether or not he chooses to be a dad is his choice.

 

[..katie..]

Hi ladies

sorry havent replyed but from my ticker you can tell little madam come 6 weeks early, havent contacted FOB either.

What im going to do is wait until my orginal due date (4th march) ironic really as this is the day when I register her without him and his name, i will then send a shitty text saying thanks for your concern about your daughter thoughout my pregnancy if you did bother to contact me you would have known I had her back in January.

I dont know why these men dont have anything to do with their children, my dad left when i was young but we still saw him every weekend until 1 weekend he didnt turn up so my mum wasnt happy we was all ready waiting for him and he didnt show, i dont want that for my little girl either.

Congrats