Single, pregnant, sad...

[1stxmama]

This is my first pregnancy. I was engaged to the baby's father but found out he was cheating on me. Everything was great and we planned the baby, decided to get a house to get ready since we were trying. The house is in my name since his credit is bad. I know we rushed into everything too fast but I will never regret having this baby. We started to have problems right before i got pregnant but it wasn't anything major just little fights. I guess he notice this other girl and seek her out and later on they dated while we were together. She is a single mom with a son and she knew all about me and the baby. Because he would run to her when we had problems it made it hard for us to work things out. I thought it was because he was just giving up, but it was because he had one foot in and one out. He lie to me one night and didn't come home and that night I ended up in the ER. He ended up leaving me at the ER when the doctor thought i might need surgery. Come to find out he was with her that night and the day and night I was in the ER. I moved he stuff out when i found out. He says he wants to be there for the baby even though we aren't together, this was when we were separated. All he did after we broke up was party. He's now living in a frat house basically with his single guy friends, the alternative would be at the other woman's house. As much as I hate him right now I don't want to hurt my baby's chance of having a father because I never had one around and i know how bad that was. I told him about an appt and he never came. He had his mom who live on the other side of the US text me to ask me about setting up his car payment since i co-signed for him to get the car. I am stuck in a house alone with no family or close friends near. I have to worry about the mortgage because it was only under my name. I get really sad and cry a lot still when I'm home but I live 30mins from anyone so that sucks too. It's so hard right now and I know only time will ease the pain, but two weeks already and it's not any easier. I think about giving birth in the hospital all alone...I still love him but i know that even though i want to let him in the baby's life i can't have him back in mine. I feel like our whole relationship was a lie. Wish I could erase my memory sometimes.

 

[AbbynChloe]

Hey hun - I am sure if you asked your family will come out and support you fro the birth.

I tried so hard to get FOB involved in Chloe's life because I too grew up without a father so I knew how terrible that is. But the other day I realised that even though I had no dad around, I turned out pretty much ok?? and that i'd rather be ok and raise Chloe in a safe and loving environment than force her into a relationship with a man who just isn't interested enough. I think that would cause her a lot more damage being around someone who doesn't want to be around you?

You need to focus on you and baby right now - don't worry what FOB is getting up to. Don't pay for his car loan or anything else, that is not your responsibility. You deserve better, someone who won't run out on you and baby at every given opportunity. You will find better

Get your things in order, it will be even more difficult when baby comes. work out if you can afford the house - can your family help?? would you be entitled to any government assistance? then call your family!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[iyawo]

Hey there...I can relate to alot of what your going through.... My ex left and is partying and hooking up with women left right and centre...changed his mind a few times from he doesnt want it to he does and now we're not talking.. I also don't have anyone close enough near me I'd want in the hospital and may go it alone! Also, I DID grow up with a dad who was a terrible father and I was really glad when him and my mom finally divorced..I resented her at a young age for staying with him even though he treated us all like shit. So I'm of the opinion that its better to go it alone or have him at a distance if hes not going to be healthy and totally involved! Just my two cents.... GOOD FOR YOU for being strong and not taking him back even though its hard and lonely.. Im in the same boat so i understand...xoxoxo

 

[1stxmama]

AbbynChloe

My family have already said they would not come out because work always comes first and the sad part is they're only 6hrs away. I am preparing myself to be alone but at least in about 24wks I'll have my LO in my arms to hold and love. My older brother would come but he's deploying again in Nov and won't be back till mid/late summer. I guess I have my Air Force family, I'm sure they'll be there but it's not the same .

As far as the car he's paying for it and has to get my name off or i'll take the car and refiance into my own name. The house is a little harder. I have to do some repair to it before it could be rented out by a realtor. I would have to move out so it could be set up to show renters. In the mean time I have to rent an apartment to stay in. All costly and since everything was a unexpected I didn't save for it. Also I have some credit card debt from getting stuff for the house since he had bad credit.

My job is shift work which means 24/7 365 d/y (weekends/night/holidays). Not very single mom friendly. I was set to finish a double major (less than 2yrs left) but I know that won't happen now so I will have apply to crosstrain into a new job right after the baby is born that will be only M-F daytime shifts and re-enlist for another 4yr so I can be secure (healthcare for the baby mainly) and finish school. My family wants me to get out and move home but what would I have, a low paying job, living on medicare and welfare with little time for school. I won't put my baby through that. I will do whatever it takes to give my baby a secure and happy life.

Everything would be much easier if I didn't have this house. When I think of all the crap pilled in front of me , I can't help but cry. I'm about to be 24 and there's so many life changing decisions placed in front of me. I'm hoping that god is looking down on me and I pray every night that some miracle happens lol

 

[MummyJade]

i hope all works out for you hun, and congrats on the baby bump...
you will be fine xx

 

[Laura2919]

I hope it all works out for you hun