single teenage mum, so many emotions, need some advice

[KayteeB]

hello ladies

well i am a single mum to my little man who is nearly 2 months old. The baby's fatheris away at uni and hasnt even bothered to come and see his son yet. Apparently he's coming at christmas (when baby's 4 months old) to meet him for the first time.

Im still in love with my baby's father and it kills me inside. I feel so alone being a single mum and doing this all on my own. Im only 18 and i cant go to college which makes me even more alone. I go to a weekly young parents class which is good but apart from that its just me and baby with no one to help.

i just need some support really

 

[Laura2919]

Hi there :wave:

You have not long given birth, your emotions are still all over the place and you feel like your alone which all make us feel like we want to go back.

He hasnt bothered to come and see his child in two months and thats awful. He dont have any excuse, there are weekend and lets face it you have had at least 5 of them since LO was born.

Sending you big you need to find some new things in your life and go out and enjoy yourself. Your only 18 this should be the time of fun and laughter, not tears and sadness.

 

[Scarletvixen]

 

[jessrabbit]

Give yourself a break, like Laura 2919 says your emotions are still all over the place. Keep making the effort to go to your group and try and arrange to meet up with people that you meet there.

Its going to take time, big hugs x

 

[xSophieBx]

Hi hun,

I'm also a young single mother.. was 19 when I had Lily, split with her sperm donor when I was pregnant.. I still have aload of crap from him though!

Do u live at home or on your own?

You will be able to go to college.. just give yourself a break and enjoy your baby whilst his so young.. I suffered with post natal depression due to the stress I was under & I so regret not enjoying my baby in those early months.. Don't let the FOB get you down... I know it hurts right now, but time really is a healer.

Its good your getting out and going to young parents group.. have u looked at your local sure start centre and thought about baby massage? I done this when Lily was 3months old and it was the best thing I did & really helped my depression/bonding with Lily.

You've just had a baby so like another poster has said your emotions are all over the place right now.. It will get better, honestly Your life isn't over... once you've enjoyed these early months with him you will be able to get on and do stuff for you aswell..

Message me if u ever want a chat xx

 

[Angelicous]

Heya

I just wanted to say hey and well done for doing it on your own. I was 19 when I got pregnant and although I did eventually reconcile with FOB I do konw how hard it can be.

You mentioned you wanted to go to college Well, when you feel ready, look into it, you'll be surprised what help is avaiable to you. I had a lot of friends without FOBs around and I've recently returned to study too! (Although we're back together, my FOB is disabled so we qualify for the same childcare/grants as single parents)

Large colleges often have creches, which you can often get for free or get paid for. If you want to go back to work and study p/t, as long as you work 16 hours a week you can get funded for up to 75% of childcare costs via tax credits or 85% via a childcare grant if you're in HE.

Also, colleges/uni's have to take you circumstances into account and often you'll qualify for college/uni grants etc.

You still qualify for housing benefit whilst you study as long as you don't earn too much. (I have a friend who earns £30k a year as a social worker and he still get £200 per month in housing benefit, so the cap shouldn't effect you at all if you're working part-time or studying at uni full time).

Basically at college, if it's p/t I think you get IS, HB, CTC and tax credits. If you work 16 hours, it will effect your IS, but shouldn't effect your HB too much and you will be able to get 75% childcare costs.

If you go to uni, you can get student loans/grants to fund the whole thing and full housing benefit, 85% childcare costs and often - unis have their own nurseries/creches too!)

 

[Angelicous]

Sorry don't mean to push you at all!

But I did it and it's the best thing I ever did. It took me 10 years to get the courage to go back and honestly I wish I'd done it sooner.

Definitely take you time and think it through properly - but it definitely worked out for me and my friends

 

[Rhio92]

I'm Rhiannon, I'm 19, and single mummy to Connor who's 11 months
FOB's can be dicks... Doing it on your own is hard, but worth it, honest xxx

 

[KayteeB]

thanks ladies your support and advice has been invaluable xxx

 

[Laura2919]

You will get there hun.

 

[teal]

xx