Six week scan tomorrow

[TaraJ]

I deliberated a little as to where to post this. I decided against the first trimester as I feel a bit on the dark side considering my history whereas I like to think the first trimester forum is a little more innocent and free from negativity. I decided against the over 35 forum as I'm 41 in October and think 35 is YOUNG to be pregnant so don't understand the worry (other than the normal usual worry that you're not 25 and pregnant). So I'm here.

I have my six week scan tomorrow and am cautiously excited. Which is ridiculous because all the odds are against me and if I use even the tiniest bit of logic there's absolutely no reason why things shouldn't go as they have before (one m/c, two mmc and one at 16 weeks due to a high temp rupturing my membranes - healthy girl).

But then again I keep thinking there's no reason it shouldn't work out - I have a healthy four year old daughter and I've had all the tests done with no negative results, lots of 40+ women have babies etc.

What I don't understand is how I can be so optimistic. I really need to learn to protect myself a little from disappointment but I can't help being excited!!!

And I know that even if things are ok tomorrow, I still have another 6 weeks to go. And I know that even if I get to 12 weeks, things could still go wrong!

Anyhow, if there are any spare +vibes out there perhaps some of them could be sprinkled my way.

Tx

 

[lisalee1]

6 weeks! You're halfway thru the 1st trimester! Now you need to change your description from TTC to PREGNANT! Good luck! I'm sure that everything will go well!

 

[shocker]

I think its great that your excited! you should be! your pregnant sometimes we cause ourselves to miss out on truely wonderful moments because we are trying to protect ourselves from hurt, I think your doing great! Looking forward to hearing about how fantastic your scan went xx

 

[TaraJ]

Thanks Ladies - I'm really excited about the scan today but should be completely apprehensive - I mean I am a little but 90% excited. I just have a good feeling about this one.

Anyhow, we'll see.

Will update later.

Tx

 

[TaraJ]

Hello, just to update - they could only see a very small sac that looked around 5 weeks (I'm 100% sure of my dates) and so they took a blood test. HCG levels were 132 on 31 May and only 235 now so that's pretty final really. They're bringing me in for another blood test on Sat which seems pretty pointless to me. Then I suppose I'll have to decide whether to have yet another d&c or have it medically managed.

I am stunned. I just can't believe this is happening. My daughter is keeping me smiling and knowing that I can't show sadness in front of her is really helping me through. Roll on 8pm though when I can let my guard down and have a bit of a cry. And perhaps a glass of wine..

Thanks for the good wishes. Might be back here again soon.

There's no fool like an old fool.

Tx

 

[lisalee1]

Awe! So sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to recover quickly. Don't "wait to try" too long. For me, the best recovery is getting back in the game as soon as possible.

 

[Sarena]

Tara, I am so sorry for you loss. There is very little worse than getting that bad news when hoping so much for good. wishing you all the best whenever you try again. Take care of yourself.