Six weeks later...

[CurlySue]

"We'll send you a letter telling you how your embryos got on," they said.

No letter. I had to find out on the day of my D&C that I had nothing left. Can you imagine how shite that feels, when for weeks you have this inkling of hope and you convince yourself that no news is good news only to be told flatly and coldly "No, none of them were good enough."

Nice.

"We'll send you a letter offering you a follow up appointment for shortly after the operation so we can talk about your feelings and what went wrong, so we can plan a second treatment for in about three cycle's time."

Nothing, six weeks later. No letter. Not a thing. Not even a missed call on my phone.

I'm coming up to my second period, now, since AF arrived shortly after D&C.

So I write to them. I, the patient who just went through a particularly traumatic miscarriage and have had to suffer their stupidity again and again, have to get on THEIR back to do THEIR job.

So, six weeks plus one letter outlining just how horrendously upset, confused, lost and traumatised I feel in relation to a) this whole experience and b) the fact that almost nine weeks after finding out I had lost my children STILL no follow up appointment had been scheduled for me I FINALLY got a letter offering me an appointment on 28th September.

Why is it I had to chase THEM up?

Why is it they have never contacted me when they said they would?

Why is it that it was only when I drew their attention to them constantly getting things wrong for me that I get to see an actual doctor?

I swear, if I get there and it's his registrar I will walk straight out and never look back. How shitty it felt to sit there in the waiting room, awaiting the confirmation scan that I would need an evacuation, seeing these new couples going in and having what looked like long, detailed, informed appointments with actual doctors when all we got was two minutes with a woman who had no clue.

 

[NeyNey]

Oh sweetheart, what a horrible ordeal

I'm furious for you!! Surely there has to be a government organisation you can complain to? I would hunt down one and give it to these *******s!!!


Thinking of you

 

[Farie]

So shit honey
Fx you get a great consultant this time

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Unforchatly the NHS is over run, referal latters are taking twice as long and appoitments are taking twice as long, i was told to expect atleast a 6 week wait before they even write my letter of appeal to the PCT. unforctahly they have no clue and your trauma means nothing to them because they probally have no clue what its like to feel the pain you have.
I tryed complaining and got the responce well there are other patients who need us you just have to wait. cruel if you ask me

 

[Brambletess]

It is appalling treatment, and you definiately need answers so you can move on from this. Normally you would be invited back into a clinic by now to talk over what happenend and the way forward from here, the fact you haven't is poor, but i guess that particular clinic is very overstretched. Its no excuse though and you were right to complain. Especially as most of the way through your care was shoddy.

I know it doesn't seem like it but there was positives in that your embryos implanted so you know that that can happen. The quality of the embryos were maybe not good with this cycle but this happens and in another cycle this can change completely. I am on a forum with my clinic and women on there had really bad fertilisation with one cycle and then in this cycle have produced embryos of top quality. I really hope when you see your doctor that they clarify things for you and help you move on. I know you are in limbo still and thats not fair.

 

[chocci]

I never got a letter, I was told I had to ring and make an appointment for a consultation at our clinic after my failed cycle. They would not have got in touch with me unelss I rang. Its unfortunate but the fact is our NHS is over run. On the other hand we can look at the bright side, at least we have an NHS who offer us the chance to have a free treatment to help us with our infertility, albiet a postcode lottery of how many you are entitled to. A lot of countries dont! A lot of people dont get the chance.

Curly Sue, although you have had an awful time recently, perhaps given the way you feel about this hospital, you should not go back. Look for alternative clinics and simply get them to request your notes. Holding onto so much anger is not going to help you get that baby hun. Sometimes its better for the mind, heart and soul to not look back and only look forward.

 

[Dilek]

I had to do the same thing, i called asap to get an appointment after my d&c to be back in my injections to control your endo. I think its up to us to be proactive, we cant wait around for them. I think ive started to annoy some of the clinics staff. But its my life not theirs!

 

[chocci]

I was on the phone making an appointment the 1 hr after i got my negative result confirmation....... i was a right egar beever hahaha, i think its important to have something else to focus on, something to take your mind off the current!

 

[honeycat]

That is horrible. Can you change clinics? I had my f/u appt 3.5 weeks after the d&c and I was told what day and time the appointment was before I even had the d&c (it was in the papers they sent me to fill out to have the d&c done). A clinic shouldn't treat you like that that you have to keep hounding them. And here I thought my current RE's office is bad enough because they won't ever pick up their phone - I have to leave a message and wait all day for them to call me back. Makes me not call them or ask them questions very much.

 

[Lady Caillean]

I am so sorry uou are being treated this way

 

[JASMAK]

 

[wrightywales]

i know how you feel about them not contacting you i was also expecting an appointment to talk about my failed treatment as it said it the treatment book itself and i was told by the nurse i spoke when i phoned about the showing up. i am having FET in a few weeks and still haven't spoke to anyone about it. i had to chase them up about my frozen embryos and still had to wait a further 2 weeks for the letter as they wouldn't tell me on the phone. if i can ever afford to go private (probably never will) i wouldn't use that hospital i would rather travel further to manchester.

 

[MrsF]

heya CS,

*hugs* i'm so sorry that you're having such a shite journey, it seems throughout your experiences the hosp has treated you rather clinically. I hope things change for you hun, i really do, i can't even begin to imagine how grotty you must be feeling. Thinking of you gal x x x

 

[MissMonty]

Sorry to hear you've had to go through this x

 

[CurlySue]

The thing that pisses me off is that they tell us they will write to us. They say "Don't worry, love, we will send you an appointment as soon as you've had the op to discuss things" yet nothing happens. They tell you "We will do this" and nothing happens. They tell you "we will do that" and nothing happens.

If they said nothing then fair enough, but why make promises to an already fragile couple when they have no intention of following them up? Why do we do their job?

I'll go to the consultation. Like I said, if it's not the doctor the letter promises it will be I am walking away. I will write a further letter explaining why and it will be just another note to add to my long list of reasons WHY I need to move away from this shithole.

 

[chocci]

Try CARE curlysue, give them a ring they are fantastic. I rang them and got a totally different reception to the NHS. I would say forget about your current hospital its doing you not good to let them bother you. You cant change them. You more than likely will not get an apology. They will keep doing what they do. Best to move on and look forward and plan for the future. Honestly take control and give CARE a ring they will chat to you for ages and sort everything out.

x