Sleeping with somebody who isn't your babys daddy..

[WaitingForYou]

Its all down to personal preference at the end of the day. I'd ever sleep with anyone while i'm pregnant apart from my OH, well to be honest i'd never sleep with anyone else while I was in a relationship anyway. But yeah anyway, I couldnt have sex with someone who wasnt the babies daddy. I feel weird even sleep with my OH, but on the occasion I do, I dont like the thought of him feeling like I dont want him near me, I know he does because he's said it to be, its just I feel its not right, with something growing inside me. Someone understands what I mean I know they do. LOL!

 

[mBLACK]

Wow.. off topic.

 

[WaitingForYou]

Me? Never

 

[leeanne]

And I think I've now explained myself, haven't I, before you posted yours? And I did agree to Baby-Love's explanation of another type of situation regarding her sister, haven't I?

There are certain situations where they are alright for one family but not alright for another.

I explained my situation and what I've seen first hand and experienced. Your situation may be different than someone else's. Not everyone's is the same.

If you read through my posts, the general idea is that when you become a mother you do in fact have to think of that child and what they will learn from you. We have children in order to bring them up the proper way and guide them into independence for their lives when they go into the real world on their own.

Children learn about relationships from what they see. They learn how to deal with their own relationships by seeing what happened in their home life with both their parents, or one parent, etc.

In the situation I described, what does that teach that child? Is it ok just to manipulate a man by getting pregnant in order to try and tie him down to you? Is that alright? Is this teaching the child something about relationships?

How about the fact that this same person got married thinking all the while that if it doesn't work out, I can easily get a divorce? And that's what happened.

Trust me, I don't make posts because I just think this. I would never have made that post if I hadn't seen what the results are on the effects of a child, even from my own experience. Yes, I could have elaborated when I made that one post but I didn't think I had to at that time. My only point was to say to the original poster is to start thinking about the future, when her child will be born, and making the right choices. The other point is her question about sleeping with someone during pregnancy but who is not the dad. Some do and some don't, but generally most women have already started planning for the future to when their baby is born, and start making choices about their choices then, while they are pregnant. Even Mblack says she doesn't feel right about doing it now.

I also said this after that post about the ex:

To elaborate as I did go off-topic slightly is that starting while pregnant to make the best choices for yourself will go a long way to ensure the child will learn love and "right" relationships later on.

I think Mblack knew what I was getting at?

 

[keelykat]

Hi, i dont think i could personally let another man into my life whilest pregnant, let alone have sex with anyone else. For me it wouldnt feel right for some reason, but this is just me and how i am. After the baby is born, then i could maybe move forward and maybe meet someone else. But right now this is my baby and i will only share this time with the father, and if he wasnt involved id go alone (no man).

Its not an easy yes or no for everyone though is it?

keely.x

 

[ella170]

i only have sex with my baby's dad..it would feel wrong if it was any other boy! i could probably kiss someone else with my baby inside, but i don't want anyone touching me or getting close to where my baby is if that makes sense? i'm already really protective over my little boy and i really hate the thought of a stranger being near him in that way!

 

[pocahontas35]

I know I am not in the "norm", but I have never been w/anyone but my OH, and he has only ever been w/me (15 years now). I am certain I would not be able to be intimate w/someone else while being together, or maybe even if he weren't around for what ever reason. I may be a bit of a prude, but I think people take sex too lightly. I think it is something special that should be reserved for a special relationship. I try to teach my kids this as well and I hope it will help them have healthy long term relationships. Having said all this, I don't look down my nose at those that don't believe the same as me. I know everyone is raised differently and have different priorities. I just don't always agree.

 

[Hollys_Twinny]

I dont think I could be arsed 2 meet someone new and have sex with them.My OH is lucky 2 be gettin it let alone any1 else lol. good on you that you're confident enough with you'r body though. I know I aint x

 

[elm]

I'm just going to answer the original question as can't think enough to comment on any of the other stuff at the moment.

I personally don't see a problem with sleeping with a man that's not your babys father while you're pregnant. Just because you're pregnant doesn't stop you being a woman and having needs so if that's what you want to do and feel is right (and take precautions) I don't see a problem with it. If it doesn't feel right then don't do it - I think it's purely an individual choice but don't think anyone should be judged for doing what's right for them.

I'm hoping my OH is here for many, many years to come and I won't want anyone else though x

 

[leedsforever]

I peronally couldnt ever have relations whilst pregnant with another guy other than the babies dad.... there is something about it that in my eyes I think is just weirdly wrong!!

before my holiday with my OH (the one in which we conceived) I was using the internet to talk to an old friend and had even kissed him on previous ocasions whilst seeing him up town! It could have got so messy!! I felt that I was missing out on something... my feelings were I knew my OH was the one but it was lacking something!! I must stress this was the first time in nearly 4 years I had EVER kissed another guy!! I even stayed the night at his but I did not actually have sex with him! It was about getting attention of someone else he made me feel wanted!! he was a good friend that I was dangerously getting close to!! It was fun... and new and exciting!!

Anyways my big family holiday in florida made me feel absolutely awful for what I had done.. my OH so didnt deserve it one little bit!! And the time away proved that it was him.... him only I wanted!! I found myself apoligising to him whilst he was sleeping! A week later upon returning from that hol I found out I was pregnant!!! I was VERY happy but still to this day I feel sooooooooooooooo awful for ever doubting our relationship!!! At the beginning of my pregnancy I HATED myself for kissing another guy the same month my baby was conceived!! I still cant believe I let myself kiss another guy!!

I know this isnt what you asked mBlack but I havent been able to tell anyone this and when i first joined BnB I never wanted to start a thread about it as I didnt want to be judged!! i know now that you ladies are not like that at all

Children learn about relationships from what they see. They learn how to deal with their own relationships by seeing what happened in their home life with both their parents, or one parent, etc.

Def agree.... without more long winded writing my parents have not been together since my dad left when my sis was 6 months old!!! They still do NOT get along...!! Seriously to the point of when i told my mum I was pregnant.... she first of all said "I cant believe I have to share grandchildren with HIM"!!!

Anyways this hatred between them had such a negative effect on me!! My first relationship as a 13 year old ended in which made me think no relationship ever lasted!! I was treated for depression!!

I think my upbringing with my parents the way they are makes me soooo badly want to be with my babies daddy for as long as I live!! I dont want her going through what I went through

 

[Younglutonmum]

I personally couldn't have sex with anyone while i'm carrying another mans child but I don't think it's wrong to do so

I've been on a few dates as a heavily prego woman & they've done me the world of good. Totally boosted my self confidence. I certainly didn't sleep with him though & nor do I plan to in the near future It's nice building up our relationship/friendship purely on an emotinal level rather than on the sexual level that alot of blokes my age expect

xxx

 

[Wobbles]

I couldn't have a sexual relationship with someone whist carrying another mans baby - if he likes you he'd wait if he gets narky about it stick him in the bin!

 

[mBLACK]

I couldn't have a sexual relationship with someone whist carrying another mans baby - if he likes you he'd wait if he gets narky about it stick him in the bin!

I tried to keep that in my mind, see I did say 'no' alot of times but he kept pressuring me and I gave in thinking it could actually go somewhere! Dickface hasn't bothered to call me since I got a 'boyfriend' (I told him that to see if he would still stick around). Let me tell you I sure learned my lesson!

 

[mBLACK]

I peronally couldnt ever have relations whilst pregnant with another guy other than the babies dad.... there is something about it that in my eyes I think is just weirdly wrong!!

before my holiday with my OH (the one in which we conceived) I was using the internet to talk to an old friend and had even kissed him on previous ocasions whilst seeing him up town! It could have got so messy!! I felt that I was missing out on something... my feelings were I knew my OH was the one but it was lacking something!! I must stress this was the first time in nearly 4 years I had EVER kissed another guy!! I even stayed the night at his but I did not actually have sex with him! It was about getting attention of someone else he made me feel wanted!! he was a good friend that I was dangerously getting close to!! It was fun... and new and exciting!!

Anyways my big family holiday in florida made me feel absolutely awful for what I had done.. my OH so didnt deserve it one little bit!! And the time away proved that it was him.... him only I wanted!! I found myself apoligising to him whilst he was sleeping! A week later upon returning from that hol I found out I was pregnant!!! I was VERY happy but still to this day I feel sooooooooooooooo awful for ever doubting our relationship!!! At the beginning of my pregnancy I HATED myself for kissing another guy the same month my baby was conceived!! I still cant believe I let myself kiss another guy!!

I know this isnt what you asked mBlack but I havent been able to tell anyone this and when i first joined BnB I never wanted to start a thread about it as I didnt want to be judged!! i know now that you ladies are not like that at all



Def agree.... without more long winded writing my parents have not been together since my dad left when my sis was 6 months old!!! They still do NOT get along...!! Seriously to the point of when i told my mum I was pregnant.... she first of all said "I cant believe I have to share grandchildren with HIM"!!!

Anyways this hatred between them had such a negative effect on me!! My first relationship as a 13 year old ended in which made me think no relationship ever lasted!! I was treated for depression!!

I think my upbringing with my parents the way they are makes me soooo badly want to be with my babies daddy for as long as I live!! I dont want her going through what I went through

You will never get judged here, as people we all make mistakes it's just our job to learn from them, what else can you do? Don't feel bad because it's in the past, everybody fucks up sometimes, just know that you love him and time will heal.

 

[ryder]

I dont think an unstable parental relationship affects children all that much... My OH had 3 different fathers growing up. His biological dad left when he was young, and his mother married twice after.

My OH is still so loving and respectful. We have a great relationship. I think if anything he learnt from his mothers mistakes in relationships and had some good examples of what he didnt want.

I dont see anything wrong with having sexual relationships with other men while your pregnant... me? personally I couldnt do it. But I wont judge anyone who does.

The thing I would have a problem with is if someone was sleeping with random guys in front of their children.

 

[tinytoes]

personally i wouldnt, but then if you love the guy then why not. I mean - it's not like it was a drug fuelled orgy. (I hope!?!?)
I cant imagine it but thats because I'm so solid with my DB.
As long as you were safe (obviously STDS are dangerous for baby as well as you!) and its not a new guy every day then i say its fine. Dont beat yourself up. Baby wont know...we wont tell him..shhhhh ;-)

 

[meg_lo21]

Ah, uhmm, well...
I won't lie, and I know this is going to sound terrible. However I don't feel particularly bad about anything I've done. I was with a few ppl in the beginning of my pregnancy... I just really did a 180 when I accepted that I was having this baby.

I have bipolar, and the medication I was on was very bad for baby, so I went off of it pronto. One of the things I have always struggled with related to being bipolar is the hypersexuality... I had a few slipups in the first few months. Protected, yes, and this was in the first like 2 months. Then I got back together with the baby's father, and WE haven't even had proper sex in about 4 months! It just won't FIT!! haha.

I am freaked that after the baby, after I lose the weight, I will feel the same as before... tempted into being overly sexual again. I am going to try to stay of the medication for as long as I can since I plan on breastfeeding...

But I totally understand, mBlack and nobody should judge you at all for what you've done.. especially yourself! You will be a great mom, and you have been treating yourself well so I really don't think you have anything to worry about.

And i am due like 1-2 days before you! hah